Joined
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104 Posts
July 6, 2012
Dear Fellow Typology Scholars,
This is an awkward introduction... but I decided to start this introduction by saying how I found out my true type.
Hopefully, it won't go so terribly. Anyways, my name is Robin and you can see that I'm an INFJ. I can imagine the stereotypes coming in... "INFJs are martyrs and they are destined to save the world!" And then there are the people who hate INFJs for reasons I will never understand at all. '-.- After all, there are never enough "bad things" said about us. Now, moving on to my story... This letter is to all of you, letting you know how I found my true MBTI type.
When I was a young girl in elementary school, I was sensitive, quiet, and shy. I would never be able to fight against bullies who made fun of me, verbally or physically. I was someone who was too shy to ask the teacher when I needed to go to the bathroom, and I would have to wait until I got home in order to go. At the same time, I loved seeing other people happy. I liked to see other people happy, because it made me happy and being happy felt so good! I would play game with other classmates if they needed one more player to play tag so everyone could have fun. I gave up my dominoes in school to other classmates if they wanted to play with the dominoes. I gave up my pencils whenever someone needed them, and I never asked them to give my pencils back. I was like this until middle school. Middle school was absolutely terrible, on the other hand.
During my time in middle school, I was revealed by our culture about rational, cool-headed, pragmatic men in action movies and books. All of the sudden, I idealized them. I became infatuated with TJ type boys (if I'm correct, TJs have Te and Fi in their function order). They were so rational and cool-headed and pragmatic, something that I could never be. I even found myself falling for an ENTJ, and ENTJs use Te so skillfully that I couldn't help but fantasize about them. >.<' I ended up projecting a function that I couldn't use as well (Te, and possibly Fi) to others who did. And often, they were, as said before, rational, cool-headed and pragmatic. So what I decided to do was to start acting like them. I acted rational, cool-headed, and pragmatic, and I thought that was okay. I hadn't taken it too far yet where I ended up acting like the girl who wasn't "girly" or "feminine". Around the same time, I had discovered a beautiful thing called the MBTI. The very first test I took, I was not honest with myself. I was the "rational, cool-headed, pragmatic" person who wasn't a "normal girl". My very first result that I remember getting from taking my first test was INTJ, and after researching about the INTJ profile, including functions, I decided that I was an INTJ. But I was completely denying myself. I knew that deep down, I wasn't an INTJ, especially after I learned about the Jung Cognitive Functions. It's not to say that TJ types are all rational, cool-headed and pragmatic. I'm positive that every type out there can be like that. I knew that I could be like that, but even though I knew I could act like an INTJ, I knew that if I was ever in an emergency situation, "acting" like an INTJ was not what I was going to do first. It's kind of like an emergency situation in which you are forced to write down an important phone number in a short amount of time. Are you going to use your left hand first or your right hand? Of course, there are people who are ambidextrous (myself included), but what is your first instinct? In that case, for me, it would be being right-handed, and this analogy applied with the INTJ-INFJ situation. In an emergency situation of any sort, what would I prefer to use? I knew the answer, but I never wanted to say it.
Frankly speaking, I did not want to be an INFJ. I wanted to continue being the logical INTJ. There were so many bad things being said about INFJs, and they constantly seemed to clash with a good amount of traits that the INTJ had. After all, INFJs have Fe and Ti while INTJs have Te and Fi. I was even immature enough to say, "That's why being an INTJ is so much better than being any other type out there!" Deep down, though, I thought to myself, "This mask I am wearing is a phony. I can use Te and Fi, but how much longer can I take it before I have to face the truth?" I knew that Fe and Ti were the functions that I could naturally and easily use, I could feel charged up from using those functions. It is my preference for those two judging functions and I knew that that was the truth.
One problem I had was stereotypes. To begin with, there were gender stereotypes, about how girls are supposed to be sweet, loving, caring, the list goes on. I truly didn't want to be that kind of girl, and I wanted to be unique from the crowd by acting like a brash, logical, competent girl. I hated the gender stereotypes, and I thought that the men in our society were doing this. So I said to myself, "You know what? I am going to show them that I am competent enough!" That actually ended up backfiring. Maybe I can explain why in another thread, but the point of that was that even if I tried to show I was competent enough to handle anything "intellectual" it wouldn't do any good. That was a major reason why I thought I was an INTJ. It was amazing how much I had "convinced" myself that I was an INTJ.
However, I have no problems with myself any longer. I was an NT-wannabe, especially an INTJ wannabe. After facing the truth, I could actually feel like I was making progress in life again. Now, as a college student, being almost 20 years old, I can finally feel safe with moving on in life. Most of the problem had to deal with what type I was and my true self. I can think, and I can feel. It's just that my preference of the different functions is what matters. I prefer to use Fe/Ti, rather than Te/Fi. I did become a better, well-rounded person. I only saw recently that where I truly lie is with the INFJs. On a side note, I knew that there were so many INFJ wannabes, especially since people kept saying INFJs were the commonly most mistyped type out there. Maybe that's just a stereotype too. There are lots of INFJs mistyped other INxx types. In my case, one can say that I was a mistyped INTJ. Nevertheless, I was glad to find out my true type.
As a final note, I would like to say I am first a human. I was born a human, and I will die a human. Typology is something I acknowledge as a side dish to my life. It's there, but it's not the most important thing in my life. I am an INFJ, but being human is a completely more important fact than being an INFJ. We all make mistakes as humans, and in my example, I made a terrible mistake trying to deny my true self, who was shown as a little girl in elementary school. I'm sure many others have made mistakes such as this one, but I have hope for them too that they'll discover their own self again. Then again, this experience wasn't so terrible. There are others so much less fortunate than I, so I can't say mine was bad. I did become a better, well-rounded person, and I'm glad of it.
Thank you, fellow typology scholars here at PersonalityCafe, for allowing me to write this letter to the public on the World Wide Web. And thank you for reading this, if you have read this.
Sincerely,
Robin (SteeplePoint)
Dear Fellow Typology Scholars,
This is an awkward introduction... but I decided to start this introduction by saying how I found out my true type.
Hopefully, it won't go so terribly. Anyways, my name is Robin and you can see that I'm an INFJ. I can imagine the stereotypes coming in... "INFJs are martyrs and they are destined to save the world!" And then there are the people who hate INFJs for reasons I will never understand at all. '-.- After all, there are never enough "bad things" said about us. Now, moving on to my story... This letter is to all of you, letting you know how I found my true MBTI type. When I was a young girl in elementary school, I was sensitive, quiet, and shy. I would never be able to fight against bullies who made fun of me, verbally or physically. I was someone who was too shy to ask the teacher when I needed to go to the bathroom, and I would have to wait until I got home in order to go. At the same time, I loved seeing other people happy. I liked to see other people happy, because it made me happy and being happy felt so good! I would play game with other classmates if they needed one more player to play tag so everyone could have fun. I gave up my dominoes in school to other classmates if they wanted to play with the dominoes. I gave up my pencils whenever someone needed them, and I never asked them to give my pencils back. I was like this until middle school. Middle school was absolutely terrible, on the other hand.
During my time in middle school, I was revealed by our culture about rational, cool-headed, pragmatic men in action movies and books. All of the sudden, I idealized them. I became infatuated with TJ type boys (if I'm correct, TJs have Te and Fi in their function order). They were so rational and cool-headed and pragmatic, something that I could never be. I even found myself falling for an ENTJ, and ENTJs use Te so skillfully that I couldn't help but fantasize about them. >.<' I ended up projecting a function that I couldn't use as well (Te, and possibly Fi) to others who did. And often, they were, as said before, rational, cool-headed and pragmatic. So what I decided to do was to start acting like them. I acted rational, cool-headed, and pragmatic, and I thought that was okay. I hadn't taken it too far yet where I ended up acting like the girl who wasn't "girly" or "feminine". Around the same time, I had discovered a beautiful thing called the MBTI. The very first test I took, I was not honest with myself. I was the "rational, cool-headed, pragmatic" person who wasn't a "normal girl". My very first result that I remember getting from taking my first test was INTJ, and after researching about the INTJ profile, including functions, I decided that I was an INTJ. But I was completely denying myself. I knew that deep down, I wasn't an INTJ, especially after I learned about the Jung Cognitive Functions. It's not to say that TJ types are all rational, cool-headed and pragmatic. I'm positive that every type out there can be like that. I knew that I could be like that, but even though I knew I could act like an INTJ, I knew that if I was ever in an emergency situation, "acting" like an INTJ was not what I was going to do first. It's kind of like an emergency situation in which you are forced to write down an important phone number in a short amount of time. Are you going to use your left hand first or your right hand? Of course, there are people who are ambidextrous (myself included), but what is your first instinct? In that case, for me, it would be being right-handed, and this analogy applied with the INTJ-INFJ situation. In an emergency situation of any sort, what would I prefer to use? I knew the answer, but I never wanted to say it.
Frankly speaking, I did not want to be an INFJ. I wanted to continue being the logical INTJ. There were so many bad things being said about INFJs, and they constantly seemed to clash with a good amount of traits that the INTJ had. After all, INFJs have Fe and Ti while INTJs have Te and Fi. I was even immature enough to say, "That's why being an INTJ is so much better than being any other type out there!" Deep down, though, I thought to myself, "This mask I am wearing is a phony. I can use Te and Fi, but how much longer can I take it before I have to face the truth?" I knew that Fe and Ti were the functions that I could naturally and easily use, I could feel charged up from using those functions. It is my preference for those two judging functions and I knew that that was the truth.
One problem I had was stereotypes. To begin with, there were gender stereotypes, about how girls are supposed to be sweet, loving, caring, the list goes on. I truly didn't want to be that kind of girl, and I wanted to be unique from the crowd by acting like a brash, logical, competent girl. I hated the gender stereotypes, and I thought that the men in our society were doing this. So I said to myself, "You know what? I am going to show them that I am competent enough!" That actually ended up backfiring. Maybe I can explain why in another thread, but the point of that was that even if I tried to show I was competent enough to handle anything "intellectual" it wouldn't do any good. That was a major reason why I thought I was an INTJ. It was amazing how much I had "convinced" myself that I was an INTJ.
However, I have no problems with myself any longer. I was an NT-wannabe, especially an INTJ wannabe. After facing the truth, I could actually feel like I was making progress in life again. Now, as a college student, being almost 20 years old, I can finally feel safe with moving on in life. Most of the problem had to deal with what type I was and my true self. I can think, and I can feel. It's just that my preference of the different functions is what matters. I prefer to use Fe/Ti, rather than Te/Fi. I did become a better, well-rounded person. I only saw recently that where I truly lie is with the INFJs. On a side note, I knew that there were so many INFJ wannabes, especially since people kept saying INFJs were the commonly most mistyped type out there. Maybe that's just a stereotype too. There are lots of INFJs mistyped other INxx types. In my case, one can say that I was a mistyped INTJ. Nevertheless, I was glad to find out my true type.
As a final note, I would like to say I am first a human. I was born a human, and I will die a human. Typology is something I acknowledge as a side dish to my life. It's there, but it's not the most important thing in my life. I am an INFJ, but being human is a completely more important fact than being an INFJ. We all make mistakes as humans, and in my example, I made a terrible mistake trying to deny my true self, who was shown as a little girl in elementary school. I'm sure many others have made mistakes such as this one, but I have hope for them too that they'll discover their own self again. Then again, this experience wasn't so terrible. There are others so much less fortunate than I, so I can't say mine was bad. I did become a better, well-rounded person, and I'm glad of it.
Thank you, fellow typology scholars here at PersonalityCafe, for allowing me to write this letter to the public on the World Wide Web. And thank you for reading this, if you have read this.
Sincerely,
Robin (SteeplePoint)
