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Discussion Starter #1
I've noticed I perform better away from the spotlight.

Why is this...

eg

I felt entirely comfortable to randomly post in the spam thread in 1 day what took me months to post in general for 100 posts. While certainly less quality but still.

As an indicator I took it upon myself to determine what does this mean. While I would rather be behind the scenes there has to be more than this surely.

Felt like the pressure was off. My post count didn't increase, I felt comfortable to be spontaneous unlike before without spending too much energy over thinking whether what I was doing was appropriate or not.I didn't care, and the delayed reaction to spending energy in thinking in what to say wasn't there, I just posted without thinking. It was great.

Then there was the next part to this, as soon as an observable person arrived this altered my train of thought. And I wondered why is that, why did I suddenly almost put the breaks on and want to stop. Its like the introduction of another energy field saw me go back into indecision mode whether to continue to post for the sake of posting or give it a rest. It tripped up my introvert thoughts of spontaneity and in turn altered my performance.

Its like the insecurity in me said should I be doing this, why am I doing this at all. Ha and yet I can't help but think I felt more comfortable on my own island than not. And that is like, why. Why is it more fun to explore my introverted mind, you knot that inner infp imagination going wild alone than sharing it with others.

Its totally pointless is all. :tongue:
And self absorbed, even if it is in pics too.
That's not how you make friends either.
 

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Aww, you INFPs are so adorable!:blushed:

Now compared to you, I feel like an extrovert. :crazy: Even though, I can very much identify with prefering to stay behind the scenes.

I guess also some people like others' expectations and other shy away from that. For some people, I've also observed, there's actually an issue with being perceived as too intelligent, efficient, and so on; they would rather blend in, than stand out, even if positively.

Personally, I don't think I would ever spend time posting in the spam sections, as that just seems pointless. If I post, I do it in order for other people to actually read it, even though of course I like the act of expressing my thoughts in writing in itself too.

But, yeah, I too am a different person when other watch and when they don't. Never as comfortable with people around as on my own...

I think for me reason that I prefer staying away from the spotlight is exactly that, not to have other peoples eyes on me all the time. I don't have to deliver constantly, but can afford to become introspective for some time and then return back to the outside world with new perspectives. If I were forced a job were I was to public, I wouldn't have time for reflection, and the quality of what I did would suffer. Then again, given that I did have that personal time on my own, I probably could function fairly well in public situations for shorter periods of time.

Some thoughts... :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Wants spontaneity and I've just noticed if its away from the spotlight spontaneity happens faster, like it just does. Like you know look through the window and I'm oblivious and do my thing. Interact and the energy changes as would the the streams of thought.

I've wondered whether this lack of spontaneity is more than just introversion sometimes. I mean I know I get into this delayed thinking where the thoughts come much later, whereby there is a lot more processing going on right. But the moments gone, the energy is already focused on something else just went I want to say something.

When creating energy they do according to what is expected, but if you introduce an observer its like they are intelligent and sense this and start changing to the new introduced observable energy unexpectedly. Then its like the energy field is disrupted and instead of doing what is supposed to be the certain thing the opposite happens, the spontaneity goes. Whether observable, interactive or not, really annoying sometimes. Also like that gut level feeling instinct too that says impending doom, but its safe in the moment. And then later on its like a total disaster or doom, and its a false reading forecast.

I should just do and say whats on my mind without getting bogged in this self conscious essence that says whether its appropriate or not, it drives me silly then I overthink and I am spending so much time thinking about whether to post or not that its tiring. even if its silly, great, good, bad, cheeky or other. Getting better at it but still. There was a time when I was more able to and then it went away. after an incident felt uncomfortable to speak my mind as much, also my health probably fried parts of my brain and stuff.

I should just post more often, when I'm in the zone its awesome, when I'm not its like hitting my head against a brick wall.
 

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I admit I haven't read the posts in this read but to me its perhaps because the world feels more like my own. The world slows down, the clock the rest of the world runs by (and the system of time/time is money I can't manage and keep) fades away into the background and how I perceive time and space around me runs supreme. All the trappings and rules of life expected by me from others and the judgments others make of me become nothing but memories when I'm by myself and my mind can reach out and be free on its own terms. The fear of the larger forum of the world fades away and there are fewer factors involved for me to worry and stress my mind over. I can watch the world go by, introspect, reflect, regret, lament or look forward how and when I choose to, at my own pace and to my own design. If I need to, I can focus my thoughts on one subject at a higher level of performance or let it move Ne style from one to another and touch as many areas as its hungry for.

I hope the reasons why I work better when by myself speak for themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
More intrapersonal than interpersonal I suppose

Intrapersonal being within the individual self or mind
Interpersonal occurring between persons

Then whats Extrapersonal. lol

 

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Discussion Starter #7











Darn intrapersonality.

Well, the prefix "intra" means inside. So the word intrapersonality must mean what you personality really is inside of you. Not the feelings you express on the outside, but the ones you express from the inside.


Ride the wave as best I can I guess when its active.
 
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