[Abacrombie]

I was talking with three girls I've recently met at the university, all INTx's, when one of them (INTJ) mentioned the Myers Briggs theory and the MBTI. We began to talk about the subject and she said something like "I think the "I" is related to loneliness, all introverts I know feel frequently lonely or isolated even when surrounded by friends", and we all agreed we really feel this way.

Is this feeling of being "alone in the crowd" that we INFPs so frequently feel directly related to a strong Introversion? Is it the curse of every introvert to feel that way? This really left me wondering, and I'd like to know your thoughts about that :tongue:


Oh, and by the way, am I the only INFP who ALWAYS ends up surrounded by NT's? lol

 

[pumpkins]

1. No you're not the only INFP with NT-friends

2. I do feel lonely sometimes. It actually makes me question my introversion because I sometimes miss being around people. But then again, being around people too much makes me tired, so I guess what I need is some kind of a balance.. But I don't feel lonely when I'm around friends. Never. I do sometimes feel alone in a crowd of non-friends, which I guess is normal though.
Mostly, I feel lonely when I feel sad, the two just go together. But yeah, overall I am a quite lonely person but being around people all the time would not be a solution. It's doomed I guess. ;D

 

[Sily]

Introversion = loneliness?

More like Introversion = a *comforting* necessity (for me). Like air.

 

[sanari]

I was talking with three girls I've recently met at the university, all INTx's, when one of them (INTJ) mentioned the Myers Briggs theory and the MBTI. We began to talk about the subject and she said something like "I think the "I" is related to loneliness, all introverts I know feel frequently lonely or isolated even when surrounded by friends", and we all agreed we really feel this way.

Is this feeling of being "alone in the crowd" that we INFPs so frequently feel directly related to a strong Introversion? Is it the curse of every introvert to feel that way? This really left me wondering, and I'd like to know your thoughts about that :tongue:


Oh, and by the way, am I the only INFP who ALWAYS ends up surrounded by NT's? lol

I do not feel alone in a crowd. I am there, they are there - and that is it. I have a butt-ton of self-confidence though, so that makes up for it. People are attracted to me [always wanna come and talk like...what?], but the same is not true for me.

 

[Death Persuades]

Am I the only INTP that ALWAYS ends up surrounded by NFs?

 

[goldaline]

i think the feeling of "being alone in a crowd" stems from the perspective of being naturally introverted, yes, but personally i think the phrase is too heavy with negative connotation. introversion is sort of... the bread and butter of who we are, a sort of balancing act with the "crowd", the lubrication in our social joints. i enjoy being a sort of quiet pair of eyes, taking in the situation and having internal dialogues with myself. yes, i do feel like an outsider, but i don't think it's a curse, not usually. i would much rather accept that i'm an oddity or an observer and pay more attention to the moment, i've had better experiences that way.

 

[Rainbow]

depends how you define introverted. for me, it's not feeling like you have to constantly tell people what's on your mind. you can chose what you want to say based on it's importance. those types of introverts do come off as quiet, but they have self control and are probably more content than most extroverts who have no self-control.

another definition is the introvert who never shares their feelings with others, and thinks everyone is against them. it can range from paranoia to shyness, but that is a lonely introvert indeed.

 

[under skies]

I tend to feel loneliest (i.e., excluded) when I am in the presence of others and am made to feel as if my thoughts and/or feelings are not relevant or valid. When I am actually alone, I rarely ever experience loneliness. Being alone, my mind is more active, uninhibited, and uninterrupted, and I feel most free to be myself.

 

[ComedianINFP]

I do feel lonely regularly. But I also feel overstimulated regularly, so I need to be alone. It seems that if I could control with precision the amount of time I spent alone and with other people, I would never feel lonely or overstimulated. But reality doesn't often allow me to choose exactly when I disconnect or exactly when I have opportunities to connect with others.

 

[infpblog]

I was talking with three girls I've recently met at the university, all INTx's, when one of them (INTJ) mentioned the Myers Briggs theory and the MBTI. We began to talk about the subject and she said something like "I think the "I" is related to loneliness, all introverts I know feel frequently lonely or isolated even when surrounded by friends", and we all agreed we really feel this way.

Is this feeling of being "alone in the crowd" that we INFPs so frequently feel directly related to a strong Introversion? Is it the curse of every introvert to feel that way? This really left me wondering, and I'd like to know your thoughts about that :tongue:


Oh, and by the way, am I the only INFP who ALWAYS ends up surrounded by NT's? lol

I don't think loneliness is related to introversion. I wrote two very long posts about my views of loneliness and where it comes from.

Why We Feel Lonely, Part 1
Why We Feel Lonely, Part 2

I tend to get along wit NTJs the best. I'm married to an INTJ and my closest friend is an ENTJ.

 

[Herp]

I wouldn't say that introversion is correlated with loneliness.

For instance, I'm completely sure of my introversion, yet cannot imagine how I could possible live without others. People are one of the main reasons I live for, because I thoroughly enjoy interacting with them, even if I'm not interacting with them all the time. Being an introvert has (At least since I've accepted myself) almost never made me feel lonely.

Loneliness is something related with misunderstanding. A person might feel alone because they do not feel understood by a given environment, but as @Rainbow has pointed out very precisely, a possible correlation of introversion with loneliness might come due to the fact that some introverts are not prone to interaction with the other world. These kinds of introverts normally haven't yet found a balance between themselves and their environment, and therefore hold back more than a self-realized introvert.

This leaves them liable to live within their own personal worlds, requiring few interaction with others. Thus, an outsider might perceive an introvert as a lonely person. A self realized introvert accepts the need to retreat to their personal world every once in a while, but also can accept the need to interact with the outer world to review their own concepts.

On the outside, these kinds of introverts are participative, but not too 'immersed' in the world. They need the outer world to shape their views, but it's clear that they are more comfortable with engaging their inner worlds.

 

[Lala]

I do not feel lonely around my SO, or my family, or my friends. Actually, I rarely feel lonely even when I am alone, probably because I have such great people in my life I know I can turn to or talk to at a moments notice. :x

 

[da_gobbo]

i can be alone and not feel lonely, i can be in a big room and feel very lonely, i don't think theres a definate correlation, but i suspect that introverts are more likely to be lonely simply because they don't make friends as easily (though this will vary from introvert to introvert, and probably type to type)

 

[jilleh88]

Not entirely, in my experience. The amount of loneliness I feel personally around people is dependent on the quality of the relationships/connection I have with people. I can certainly feel alone in a crowded room…but I can also feel a definite connection/at home with people of a like mind and/or those I am close to. Fortunately, I gravitate toward those sorts of environments and am lucky enough to have met those sorts of people. In a lot of ways, for me, this has come from going out of my comfort zone and ‘putting myself out there.’

 

[Questor]

I was talking with three girls I've recently met at the university, all INTx's, when one of them (INTJ) mentioned the Myers Briggs theory and the MBTI. We began to talk about the subject and she said something like "I think the "I" is related to loneliness, all introverts I know feel frequently lonely or isolated even when surrounded by friends", and we all agreed we really feel this way.

Is this feeling of being "alone in the crowd" that we INFPs so frequently feel directly related to a strong Introversion? Is it the curse of every introvert to feel that way? This really left me wondering, and I'd like to know your thoughts about that :tongue:


Oh, and by the way, am I the only INFP who ALWAYS ends up surrounded by NT's? lol

Those with our personality type are typically never so lonely as when in a crowd of people. That certainly goes for me. While I love small, intimate get-togethers, I do NOT appreciate crowds.

 

[Questor]

i think the feeling of "being alone in a crowd" stems from the perspective of being naturally introverted, yes, but personally i think the phrase is too heavy with negative connotation. introversion is sort of... the bread and butter of who we are, a sort of balancing act with the "crowd", the lubrication in our social joints. i enjoy being a sort of quiet pair of eyes, taking in the situation and having internal dialogues with myself. yes, i do feel like an outsider, but i don't think it's a curse, not usually. i would much rather accept that i'm an oddity or an observer and pay more attention to the moment, i've had better experiences that way.

I love the thought you just expressed.

 

[Questor]

I tend to feel loneliest (i.e., excluded) when I am in the presence of others and am made to feel as if my thoughts and/or feelings are not relevant or valid. When I am actually alone, I rarely ever experience loneliness. Being alone, my mind is more active, uninhibited, and uninterrupted, and I feel most free to be myself.

I identify with that thought so well!