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Discussion Starter #1

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Was an enjoyable article! I agree with everything she pointed out and think she(The author) did a great job being very clear. Perhaps one of my favorite things is to just sit down and talk with a close friends or a small group of close friends. It's honestly better than any amusement park I've ever gone too(I've been to many). When we talk and are giving each other our undivided attention(meaning not doing something while we talk, just talking) I feel super energized and happy. It's the way I feel most introverts know they're loved, not by the many things done for them, though those are very important, but it's the simple times we spend with our loved ones that gives us our inner feelings of being cherished, appreciated, and loved. I hope to one day be able to carry that into a dating relationship with someone, to feel that connection that ever builds and deepens during times like that. :happy:
 

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Very true. I was in a relationship with an extrovert for half a year, now that I think back I think he might have been an ESTJ or ESTP. It was a disaster because I always needed space and he always wanted to talk, every single day and about just anything random. I thought I was just being selfish, but introverts(or anyone really) just really need their space sometimes.
 

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"The key to a relationship with an introvert? It must feel effortless. So full of desire and attraction that the work naturally required in any relationship is done without thinking."

Is there someone who prefers relationships that aren't effortless, lacking in desire and attraction?

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The article is fine for a general theme, but it isn't really introverted specific. Maybe a line or two, but most of it isn't.

Personally, I like the strong independence of an ISTP; I love the morally strong and socially excitement of an ENFJ; I love the intellectually engaging INTJ; I love the stability of an ISFJ; I love the intimacy of an INFJ. I like someone who clings to me as much as I cling to them, and who can be without me for a time as I can be without them.

I like a relationship to be effortless, but I also like to work at it, and know that my loved one is going to work at it too, because they want to.
 

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The pain of being an ambivert is that I can't stand true extroverts (draining) and I get needy with a true introvert (insecure about lacking affection).

Thank you for sharing the blog. The comment section is very insightful. One guy described his relationship that mirrors mine so closely it was a bit shocking to read.
 
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@Antipode I agree that no relationship is effortless, but some are easier than others depending on the balance of work/reciprocation of each partner and the ease/willingness of understanding/accepting how the other person operates. For example, it requires me less effort to maintain healthy relations with my closer and lower maintanance friends than acquaintances that I need to go out of my way for if I were to establish a deeper relationship. My closest friends are usually autonomous (but not extreme) introverts, while any of my extrovert friends tend to leech more energy out of me, though this could also do with the particularly needy nature of one of my extravert friends to always need to be doing someone and always need company. Not that all people don't need some space, but I think how the space time is used is different for introverts and extraverts. Introverts are more likely to use that time in solitude while extraverts are more likely to use that time to draw energy from other sources (other people). Like @chanteuse, I consider myself somewhat of an ambivert, so space apart would likely be more of a balance of socializing with others and reflecting alone. Does that make more sense? I agree on your pointing out hat particular point in the article, but that doesn't invalidate the other points made in this article.
 

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@Shea, I wasn't saying no relationship is effortless.

I was saying of course everyone wants an effortless relationship--that's not introverted exclusive.
 
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@Shea, I wasn't saying no relationship is effortless.

I was saying of course everyone wants an effortless relationship--that's not introverted exclusive.
Yes, but how to go about trying to do that is different for introverts/extraverts and whatever other distinctions are out there.
 

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Yes, but how to go about trying to do that is different for introverts/extraverts and whatever other distinctions are out there.
Like how introverts want to be so "full of desire and attraction"?
 
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Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
Like how introverts want to be so "full of desire and attraction"?
No, really just the degree of space. I'm not saying there is a lot of variation in needs, but there are some things that need to be considered, and how such fulfillment of desire and attraction may vary. I'm not trying to blanket statement anything, but I just think many introverts can relate to this article to some degree. If you don't relate, that's fine. There are exceptions to everything. She just gets the message across that our prioritization of quality interactions over quantity of interactions doesn't make us weirdos and gives reassurance to those dating introverts that amount of time spent (or not spent) does not always have to correlate with the health of the relationship except maybe at the extreme end. And you are still focusing on the desired end product rather than the process.
 
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