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Male INFJ - 3w2

I am in constant planning mode. I cannot stop to take action upon my plans; I can only plan.

For instance, I plan on doing stuff at a certain time to be able to get what needs to be done - done. It doesn't work like that. I simply don't do it. I plan it for another time, and the cycle repeats.

I've tried to, like Nike says, to "just do it", but it just feels so unnatural and hard. (Feels impossible, but I know it's not.) If I DO manage to get started, I get interrupted somehow (inevitable, I live with sick grandparents) and I plan to do it later, repeating the cycle.

Advice?
 

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INFJ 3w2 Sx/So
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I struggle with the same thing. Not so much with planning, but with concepts. It's annoying as hell (pardon my French, but that's the raw sentiment).

I can't look at anything, take in any sensory information, or listen to conversations without connecting it to something else and considering the comparisons/contrasts/whatever, and it's exhausting. I hate it especially during conversations, because my mind will drift off to something completely different when I'm supposed to be listening to the person speaking to me, then my Fe kicks in and I get angry at myself for not listening. It's also a lot of "how could I apply this to that? How could this effect the future in that way?", etc., etc. and I want to tell my brain to just shut up already. I attempted indulging in alcohol to "numb" myself, but fortunately that wasn't a road that I went too far down.

I guess that getting it to quiet down is part of development and maturing -- or at least I really hope it is. I'm pretty young, so I'm still hopeful.

Sorry that I didn't really give much helpful information. I guess that this was more of a "I can relate to this" response. I'll be curious to see if anyone has any helpful practices or solutions.
 

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Practice will power.

I've read something along the lines of if you conform to a certain routine for x amount of days in a row it becomes embedded. You just HAVE to do it and stick with it long enough so that it becomes habit.

Also, remember to reward yourself every so often so that you don't suddenly shutdown and start binging with everything.
 

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Male INFJ - 3w2

I am in constant planning mode. I cannot stop to take action upon my plans; I can only plan.

For instance, I plan on doing stuff at a certain time to be able to get what needs to be done - done. It doesn't work like that. I simply don't do it. I plan it for another time, and the cycle repeats.

I've tried to, like Nike says, to "just do it", but it just feels so unnatural and hard. (Feels impossible, but I know it's not.) If I DO manage to get started, I get interrupted somehow (inevitable, I live with sick grandparents) and I plan to do it later, repeating the cycle.

Advice?
The key is to start 'doing it'. What about dealing with simple behaviors as events you plan. For instance, you want to make coffee. So, instead of mindlessly doing it the same way as always, you plan it, step by step. Then, you follow your plan to make the coffee.

Same with getting the morning paper or checking for mail. You make a plan and follow it.

You may not normally make up your bed after waking up. Getting that done would be a special challenge. But, since you've had success with planning making coffee and planning checking for mail, it will be easier. Plan making your bed and darn well do it!

Once you are used to following your plans, your planning for all sorts of things can pay off.
 

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I struggle with the same thing. Not so much with planning, but with concepts. It's annoying as hell (pardon my French, but that's the raw sentiment).

I can't look at anything, take in any sensory information, or listen to conversations without connecting it to something else and considering the comparisons/contrasts/whatever, and it's exhausting. I hate it especially during conversations, because my mind will drift off to something completely different when I'm supposed to be listening to the person speaking to me, then my Fe kicks in and I get angry at myself for not listening. It's also a lot of "how could I apply this to that? How could this effect the future in that way?", etc., etc. and I want to tell my brain to just shut up already. I attempted indulging in alcohol to "numb" myself, but fortunately that wasn't a road that I went too far down.

I guess that getting it to quiet down is part of development and maturing -- or at least I really hope it is. I'm pretty young, so I'm still hopeful.
What an interesting problem! You'd think the task at hand, such as a conversation, would command your mostly uninterrupted attention (unless it's a horribly boring conversation).

First thing to consider is that you may be very stressed. If that's the case, get some good rest.

Guess the problem could be an under-used Se demanding attention. Or, we could consider interruptions/interference from some other function, such as your Ne shadow function.

I wonder what would happen should you address the interruptions as a problem to be solved. Once you're rested try sitting down, maybe with a notepad, and directly tackling the problem of getting rid of the interruptions. Think about it and feel free to critique (to yourself) what pops up along the way and even to ask questions.
 

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There are many things that a planner can do wrong and therefore not get anywhere. One thing is simply to make too many plans and therefore never having time and mental energy to execute any of them. Another common problem is that the plans are too vague or require too much willpower. Say, maybe your plan is to learn to play music. That's terribly vague which makes its execution impossible as there are just too many ways to go about it. The plan should instead be something like "learn to play the birthday song on the guitar by using a specific youtube video which explains how it's done." If vagueness is your problem, this should invigorate your effectiveness to do something in no time.
Some plans require too much willpower. Maybe you want to, say, lose weight and you decide to simply stop eating sugar and flour. It's a plan which would certainly work if pulled through, but in reality people often get too much sugar and flour because it's available and the easy choice, and so this will be a grotesquely uphill battle if nothing but an internal wish is changed. If instead the environment was changed so that it would be easier and require less willpower to grab a piece of fruit, your weight would plummet naturally and almost effortlessly.

My best advice is to pick a few plans that you truly want to live out. Don't pick 10 big plans that all sound cool and try to do it at the same time. Take 1-3 instead that are genuinely important to you and learn to do them while enjoying it.
If you really need to perform a whole lot of plans all at once which all span over many years, you need to learn to brilliantly automatize them by turning them into simple habits and also to know just how much you can actually gain from it and be content with it. It's a very delicate art form.

Of course you can make small plans during the day and execute those. That may even be a good exercise in effectiveness.
 

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What an interesting problem! You'd think the task at hand, such as a conversation, would command your mostly uninterrupted attention (unless it's a horribly boring conversation).

First thing to consider is that you may be very stressed. If that's the case, get some good rest.

Guess the problem could be an under-used Se demanding attention. Or, we could consider interruptions/interference from some other function, such as your Ne shadow function.

I wonder what would happen should you address the interruptions as a problem to be solved. Once you're rested try sitting down, maybe with a notepad, and directly tackling the problem of getting rid of the interruptions. Think about it and feel free to critique (to yourself) what pops up along the way and even to ask questions.
So this isn't just an INFJ thing? That's relieving to hear.

I have been pretty stressed lately. I did some reading on the INFJ "shadow" and realized that I've been displaying some of the qualities -- mainly being incredibly critical of everyone and everything. I can't pin down the source of the stress, though. If I had to guess, I would say that it's uncertainty; I'm lacking a definite direction in my life right now, so maybe I just feel too weightless.

Thank you for letting me know about this, I really appreciate it.

My ENFP boyfriend noticed just the other day when I was particularly tired (which has been happening a little too often lately -- probably another contributor) that I seemed to be using Ne to guide my actions, which he found odd. What you're saying may explain why that's been happening.
 
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I have a tendency to start school work only once I have to, sometimes I plan to do something in advance but I rarely really do it. (This doesn't feel so much of a problem for me since I always get everything done in time, but yeah, sometimes I feel like it would be less stressful to have everything done earlier.)

Anyway, when I plan to do stuff earlier and really want to stick to that plan, it always helps me to change environment. I go to a library or a café and then it's easy to do what I planned since I went there purely for that reason.

Another way is just to forget the plan and do the part that appears the easiest first. Once I get the hang of what I'm doing the harder parts will work themselves out as well.

In some tasks that are creative and visual, it also helps me a lot to picture the thing I'm making 'in the environment'. It's a lot different than imagining it in just my head and immediately provides me a better sense of what I'm actually, physically doing. That makes it a lot easier to start.
 

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Male INFJ - 3w2

I am in constant planning mode. I cannot stop to take action upon my plans; I can only plan.

For instance, I plan on doing stuff at a certain time to be able to get what needs to be done - done. It doesn't work like that. I simply don't do it. I plan it for another time, and the cycle repeats.

I've tried to, like Nike says, to "just do it", but it just feels so unnatural and hard. (Feels impossible, but I know it's not.) If I DO manage to get started, I get interrupted somehow (inevitable, I live with sick grandparents) and I plan to do it later, repeating the cycle.

Advice?
Try to access Se. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about similar things..not necessarily that I plan and don't take action, but mostly because my mind goes in crazy Ni mode and it becomes overwhelming. I've read some things about the development of the cognitive functions and it seems like the 4th function is a key one for each individual. (in our case Se) Why? Because you still use it pretty unconsciously, yet don't master it well enough and therefore can get into some problems.
Ni is best tempered by Se. (so is Fi by Te and viceversa; Ne by Si and viceversa; Ti by Fe and viceversa) Take some moments and just focus on the sensory information around you. Take in the air, taste the intriguing flavours of various types of food by slowing down the way you chew, take a lovely bath while listening to inspiring music and filling the room with delightful scents. Things like this can do a wonder. They nourish you, give Ni a break to recharge and function more properly afterwards.
 

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Male INFJ - 3w2

I am in constant planning mode. I cannot stop to take action upon my plans; I can only plan.

For instance, I plan on doing stuff at a certain time to be able to get what needs to be done - done. It doesn't work like that. I simply don't do it. I plan it for another time, and the cycle repeats.

I've tried to, like Nike says, to "just do it", but it just feels so unnatural and hard. (Feels impossible, but I know it's not.) If I DO manage to get started, I get interrupted somehow (inevitable, I live with sick grandparents) and I plan to do it later, repeating the cycle.

Advice?
I think you’re missing what a gem intuition can be. For me, intuition is like a genuine conversation with all that exists, and secrets are revealed only to me, to keep me safe and headed where I’m going. Your thread title floored me really…It’s such a gift, wanting to throw it away boggles my mind.

 

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Thanks for all the advice, guys.
@StableSun35
Throwing away isn't my desire. I want to be more proactive and do the things needed to be done, but I'm swallowed whole by my Ni for the majority of my time.
You sound like an adult in his 40s who still lives in his parents’ basement and isn’t forced to work to get by, who is concentrating on the wrong problem. If you’re so swallowed by your intuition, it should be helping you. That is the definition of intuition. If you feel you need to take more action, do whatever needs to be done and stop making excuses. Just do it. If you are depressed and can’t do it on your own, get professional help.
 

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I still say it sounds like you need to adjust your perception of intuition as well. What, do you have people standing over you telling you you suck and to be different? Tell them to suck it. You can’t because they still house you and you’re 45? Get a full-time job and move out. You’re definitely stuck, but I feel you are concentrating on the wrong problem.

 

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Male INFJ - 3w2

I am in constant planning mode. I cannot stop to take action upon my plans; I can only plan.

For instance, I plan on doing stuff at a certain time to be able to get what needs to be done - done. It doesn't work like that. I simply don't do it. I plan it for another time, and the cycle repeats.

I've tried to, like Nike says, to "just do it", but it just feels so unnatural and hard. (Feels impossible, but I know it's not.) If I DO manage to get started, I get interrupted somehow (inevitable, I live with sick grandparents) and I plan to do it later, repeating the cycle.

Advice?

I believe many INFJs suffer from a severe form of procrastination. I plead guilty as well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
@StableSun35
I'm 17. I actually sound like a teenager whose really into his college course in Literature and Composition (because that's what I am). I'm reading Moby Dick for my college exam, and I love the style the author writes in. So I wanted to mix in some of his flair into my forum post.

Anyway-- I don't have people telling me that I'm stuck. I know myself that I'm stuck. It's extremely hard to do simple tasks such as homework and projects when I know it's going to take a long time. That is my issue. Thanks anyway.
 

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@StableSun35
I'm 17. I actually sound like a teenager whose really into his college course in Literature and Composition (because that's what I am). I'm reading Moby Dick for my college exam, and I love the style the author writes in. So I wanted to mix in some of his flair into my forum post.

Anyway-- I don't have people telling me that I'm stuck. I know myself that I'm stuck. It's extremely hard to do simple tasks such as homework and projects when I know it's going to take a long time. That is my issue. Thanks anyway.
Ah ok….please understand I’ve no interest in being accusatory, what I spoke of are scenarios that I see around me that remind me of what you wrote. Ya know, I went to college and did two years then went back around 7 years later (part time to bring my GPA up and see if I was still into it) then at around the 15-17 years mark after graduating high school, I got my bachelor’s. People who are sensitive and deep take in a lot more than the average bear. I tell people it took me awhile to get mature enough to finish my degree (Science classes are difficult) but I just like learning, and am not like everyone else. You’re young, you’ll find your way. Doesn’t really sound to me like you are stuck, sounds like you are depressed and living with parents similar to how mine are/were, which of course could be wrong. My brother is 45 and still living in their basement. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s not the best life we all would choose for him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
It's all good. Yeah, and I'm just going to brunt through it. I was basically looking for a quick, snappy solution but there isn't any. I just have to work on it, and I think a good way to think about it is to work on "developing Se" into your Ni.
 
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