[Teardrop]

I have Three with a four wing as my second enneagram and I find myself wanting to seem attractive, but then feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the attention. I feel unsatisfied without attention, but hate it simultaneously. The battle between introversion and the want to seem attractive to me is a continuous and quite painful. I would like to know if anyone else experiences this, especially 3w4s?

 

[Woody]

Have the same feeling! I'm an introvert most of the time but I love being center of attention, especially people talking about me and being interested in things I do. However, as you said, too much attention often makes me tired so I usually find myself fighting with this dualistic feeling - wanting attention and not wanting it at the same time. Pretty confusing :/

 

[nevermore]

Being a 3 just means you are motivated by a sense of external validation and positive image. You don't actually need to be interacting with people to do this. I am more motivated by people knowing who I am and that I excel at what I do than going around socializing and being loved (though a little bit of that with some worship on the side is just icing on the cake:tongue. I love it when people talk about me flatteringly and certainly enjoy being there to be praised, but am more concerned with knowing they think well of me and respect my accomplishments.

 

[The Exception]

I'm a type 5 but I definitely relate. I'm also likely a social subtype so maybe that explains things.

 

[Fanille]

For me personally (ISTP 3w4), attention is something that I've grown to like, especially as I've enjoyed the benefits of attention. Negative attention still does make me a little uncomfortable at times, though.

 

[March Cat]

I have Three with a four wing as my second enneagram and I find myself wanting to seem attractive, but then feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the attention. I feel unsatisfied without attention, but hate it simultaneously. The battle between introversion and the want to seem attractive to me is a continuous and quite painful. I would like to know if anyone else experiences this, especially 3w4s?

I have experienced this at all. I don't know if it's me wanting direct, physical attention though. I think it's more of me wanting people to acknowledge my successes, rather than them constantly talking to me.

 

[unico]

I'm a 4w3, but I definitely want to be liked by people and found attractive, though not really "sexy." Pretty is fine, though. I often do enjoy being the center of attention even though I'm an introvert.

 

[IThinkTooMuch]

Have the same feeling! I'm an introvert most of the time but I love being center of attention, especially people talking about me and being interested in things I do. However, as you said, too much attention often makes me tired so I usually find myself fighting with this dualistic feeling - wanting attention and not wanting it at the same time. Pretty confusing :/

pretty much this^ under the right circumstances, being the center of attention can be great, as long as you knew about it. I rather dislike being put on the spot in front of a lot of people, but if it was some sort of performance, it can be thrilling

 

[jac_909]

I'm Infp with 4w3, I get this ecstatic excitement when people talk about me or if the spotlight is on me, but at the same time I feel undeserving of this attention. If I'm center of attention for too long I get really uncomfortable because I feel like I need to control the situation, too much pressure. Compliments on my appearance or talent is major fuel for my self-esteem. I put those compliments in my back pocket and use them when I need to get through tough situations where my values/confidence is compromised.

 

[Jaune]

I'm an introverted 3w4 and sometimes it seems like my personal contradiction between becoming overwhelmed when actively seeking attention versus really wanting external validation is one of the biggest problems of my life. As an introvert I lose a lot of energy from being surrounded by people too long and I don't have the best social skills to keep people interested in me when the intrigue of whatever I've done has finally faded, which leads to me craving for the attention once again.

Positive attention is ideal of course, but I'd rather have people noticing me negatively than completely forgetting me. I tend to convince myself that anything I do doesn't count unless someone else knows about it, and thus I want attention for my achievements.