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I pay so little attention and care to detail, but bash myself into the ground when I mess up. This is a bit contradictory, yes?

Not to put too fine a point on what I'm trying to say, but...

I began thinking about this today because I work in a setting in which my work is evaluated several times a month and I am constantly being... well... watched, by someone. I have pretty horrible stage fright. Today I was observed in a critical fashion by my new trainer (after two months without evaluation), and tomorrow I get to hear her evaluation of what happened. I wish I would have asked her to give me the evaluation today so I could have time to process it this evening, but now I'm just dreading what she's going to say. I know it can't be too terrible-- certainly nothing that would get me demoted or fired. I know that I was very poorly trained and I am just making due with what I've learned on-the-job. On the other hand, I've been working there for five months and feel like I should not be making noticeable mistakes.

But this inability to accept constructive criticism as something impersonal and helpful is one of the INFP traits with which I identify most. The only defense mechanism I have is to deflect the "blame" as it were on to someone else by stating to myself that my training was godawful (and my co-workers aren't supportive and my supervisor is NEVER around). (These are all true to some extent.)

In short, I want to take responsibility without beating myself up over it and devolving into a shame spiral...

Any thoughts? Any advice? If I can overcome this obstacle I know I'll be much more accepting and kind to myself-- ergo, happier.

Also, please... discuss anything pertaining to INFPs and perfectionism. I think it is an interesting topic, and my aim was to kind of make a dual post about my own issue and just INFP perfectionism as a whole.
 

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I know this feeling! I have to be observed and get feedback regularly and I hate it! It's better if they give you mainly positive feedback and then the negative framed as "something to work on", I find. I'm dreading my observations next year already, I hate being criticised!
 

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...perfectionistic qualities can be applied to whatever you desire, for example...a perfect person would be able to handle negative feeback, a core value could be ...to set oneself to become the type of person who could handle feedback, that way...our perfectionistic nature would be working for us...
 

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The first step is to separate Role from Identity. We have many Roles (employee, friend, child, sibling, etc.) However our Identity is who we are (our thoughts, our feelings, our reasons why, beliefs, values).

Failure in a Role shouldn't be equated to a failure of Identity. Roles requires certain skills, behaviors and attitudes. Some days we're more successful in some Roles then others. However, we are always who we are (Identity).

INFPs tend to closely tie Identity with Role. We define ourselves by what we do instead of measuring ourselves by what we do. Some days we won't measure up. We just have to roll with that and realize that our Identity is still valid.
 

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i'm a perfectionist in the most irrational ways, i'll always do to much and make it worse or whatever, my perfectionist tendencies at one ponit to stop it i jsut forced myself to be apathietic, i still and i bit to easy going but my perfectionism is undercontrol mostly
 
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I can be extremely perfectionistic in certain environments. I need to be competent when it comes to work/school - in every other situation, I'm extremely comfortable with my flaws. When I worked as a secretary, I magnified everything I did wrong out of proportion and I was huge bundle of nerves everyday. I used to come home and sob and scream about how incompetent and how bad I was. It completely destroyed my self confidence. I didn't believe my boss when he told me that he really appreciated what I was doing and that he wanted me to come back next summer - my disbelief was fundamentally ridiculous because I knew that not the in kind of environment where they lie about that sort of thing .... I just couldn't believe it.
 
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I think this will be even more interesting to enneagram 3s or those with a 3 wing.
 
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