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Twos can desire confirmation from others that they are loving and needed, and Fours can desire confirmation from others that they are authentic and unique, so why is it only Threes who are often defined as desiring confirmation about what they are? I'm wondering if this notion of Threes all needing social approval is just an assumption based on the fact that what Threes want to achieve are whatever things are most valued by their social sphere.

I don't see that fact as necessarily due to them having looked around for the best way to be seen as high-achievers, but maybe due to looking around for the most convenient way to measure their own capacity to achieve whatever they might put their mind to.

Here are reasons I can think of for choosing a culturally approved measure of success, that have nothing to do with others measuring that success for you:


  • The more time you will spend with people who value and would like to achieve the same thing, the more regularly you will witness the attempts of others, which can show you that even better is possible, remind you of what's appealing about what you're aiming for, and inspire you to push harder.
  • Also the more regularly you witness the attempts of others, the more frequently you can feel the rush of knowing that you're doing it better than average.
  • You will know that you are genuinely over-achieving in your chosen areas, instead of doing something niche that for all you know, everyone else could do it better if they actually tried.
Does anyone have an opinion, especially Threes?
 
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Maybe stereotypically, but I often perceive threes as a star-type, and stars need audience. Without the audience, their efforts are kinda lost, at least in some aspects. I think sevens display similar attitude, but it kinda differs, like... I'm just guessing, but sevens need the audience as a reason to act, and threes like audience to add sense to their work?

And I don't think it is a bad thing, because I feel a lot of people misinterpret that 'stardom' as vanity, it isn't. I really like both sevens and threes, and they tendency to show off is precious, because there are others, who actually need their performance. Think about it. World needs performers, they're a source of joy. And it doesn't require being an artist or a celebrity, most people play such roles locally, in their social circle. You can often just describe it as charm.
 

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In my experience, my need for an audience is never justified stereotypically as the desire to outshine everyone else by excellent presentation or qualifications. I do not perform for others to hear the sweet sound of applause or to be praised. What I do, I do to excel for myself. It just so happens that when I catch a glimpse of myself in the eyes of others, it excites and motivates me to know that the person there reflected is esteemed and respected genuinely. I like to earn those privileges and though I once made it my sole aim to be valued based on what I could offer, I now see that I seek constant self-improvement for my own sake because of how it makes me feel to know my hard work is appreciated.

There's no shame in admitting that I love a good audience but it has nothing to do with arrogance or a desperate need to be in the spotlight. Life is never so simple and an audience is never just a group of people who sit and watch, compelled by your actions. Most often, our audiences (all Types') never know when exactly we are putting on a performance of any kind.

But do I seek to confirm myself, my identity, solely through the approval that others might provide? No. That sounds more like the unhealthier Three, if you ask me. It's not all about achievement and stardom. If you scratch the surface, I think you would find that the biggest fear a Three has is being worthless to him/herself more so than having very little to no value to others but because a Three would typically enjoy watching his/her work be admired by others, the fine lines separating the 'self' from the 'others' blur. Suddenly, you are presented with an individual who appears to be striving -- most ambitiously -- to impress others when we all know appearances make up only the tip of the iceberg.
 
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