Personality Cafe banner

Is anyone an ENFJ type 3? I haven't met any...Where are you guys?

[Enneagram Type 3] 
12K views 6 replies 7 participants last post by  Caterina M. 
#1 ·
What is an ENFJ type 3 like? Talk about it here as I don't think there is a thread relating to this...
 
#5 · (Edited)
I had a friend in college who I strongly believe was an ENFJ 3w4. She was confident, outgoing, overachieving, and very socially smooth, but she also was quietly reflective and analytical behind the scenes. She engaged with many people and had lots of friendly social acquaintances, in addition to being an elected leader of several groups, but she was slow to get very close with people. She had a soft spot for those who were really struggling - like drug addictions, behavioral issues, etc. - but was cold to people who were selfish and irresponsible without serious reasons behind it. She was an excellent group facilitator, having a good sense of when to let discussion flow and when to redirect, and she could run an event seamlessly. She was definitely a visionary-idealist and had clear ideas about how she wanted things to be, both humanistic and just.

I think that she was an e3 because she was very much about her self-presentation, especially to the people she wanted to impress, and she rarely let her emotions impact that. She always knew the right people and was good at saying the right things to them. That sounds a little superficial when I say it, but it was a talent and a skill - it opened a lot of doors for her, and sometimes for me as well. I would never have had some of the really awesome experiences I had in college if it weren't for her social facilitation. On the other hand, she got horribly angry at me sometimes if I accidentally made her look less-than-perfect. She almost always looked put together, even if wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and she was almost always prepared and on time. She also always dabbled in hobbies, especially cooking, and would throw occasional dinners. I think we got along well because we were good foils - she seemed to open up around me and share some of her feelings, which seemed cathartic for her - and she gave me the little confidence-pushes I needed to be more goal-seeking in my own life.

She's a grad student now and we still talk occasionally. As usual, she seems overloaded by work, but I feel like that was sort of the norm for her, and I'm sure she'll do well in school like she always does. Whether it's making her happy or not is hard to say. I think on some level goal acheivement makes her very happy, and school gives her lots of achievement-goals. On another level I hope that she is taking the time to slow down and process her own emotions as well.
 
#6 ·
I'm an ENFJ type 3w2.

I can't really describe myself without feeling like I have an ego though.

I pride myself for my appearance, I enjoy solving issues, many people seem to come to me with their problems because of this.
My life often feels like it builds up to certain points, and I always jump on an opportunity for adventure.
On the negative, I guess I'm pretty insecure, why I pride myself on my appearance, and hate the idea of taking my life nowhere, and accomplishing nothing.
When I analyze a situation, I already try to understand all sides, and can sometimes focus on the negative.
I'm so much of a procrastinator that I oftentimes write my English papers in an hour and a half period of free time before it's due, and even worse yet, I intentionally schedule my days and weeks to complete things at the last moment 100% possible. Oftentimes those papers, I'm sending them in five minutes before I need to show up to the class.

[Edit: even though talking about myself both positively and negatively feels like I'm caressing my ego, I wrote about it away. Hope it's something along the lines of what you're looking for]
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top