[Scarecrow793]

I see a lot of other ENTPs, especially guys, saying stuff that sounds like they're fairly uninvolved, or even womanizing in their romantic relationships, and that they date a lot, etc.

Not my style at all. I get very excited and pour all my energy into it; I guess I start acting like an ENFJ, in some ways. I'm very selective about who I date, and I'm ruined when it ends.

My theory, I guess, would be that once my Ti has decided that she meets my standards or whatever, my Fe strongly responds to that attention and connection with another person, and my Ne sees all the potential of the relationship and all these fun date ideas.

I guess I'm just bummed because a relationship of mine that lasted for 13 months (with an IxFP) just finally ended, and I feel like crap. And the same thing happened a couple years ago (with an ExFP), and I thought about her for AGES.

So is anyone else like this, or am I just weird and clingy for an ENTP?

 

[VolantEntropy]

I'm not the player or womanizer type because, in all honesty, most women bore me.

My previous two relationships were initiated by the female because I wasn't interested enough to make a move myself, and neither of them lasted more than a month.

If anything I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic that's looking for someone that can match my passion, curiosity, and conviction. Unfortunately though the one girl who has ever managed to do so happens to be near-top of her class at CalTech; I've got my work cut out for me.

 

[bellisaurius]

I'm not a womanizer because I've survived such long streaks without female company that I'm very appreciative when I get it. The risk/reward ratio looks pretty crappy to me.

Now, if some of us sound pretty uninvolved with our loves, I think a lot of that is just how entps deal with most people: Nice to have around, but for the most part, wouldn't miss. Talking about a loved one in abstract, this can sound pretty cold, although I imagine we all feel loss since we're not incapable of attachment.

 

[Empty]

I see a lot of other ENTPs, especially guys, saying stuff that sounds like they're fairly uninvolved, or even womanizing in their romantic relationships, and that they date a lot, etc.

Not my style at all. I get very excited and pour all my energy into it; I guess I start acting like an ENFJ, in some ways. I'm very selective about who I date, and I'm ruined when it ends.

My theory, I guess, would be that once my Ti has decided that she meets my standards or whatever, my Fe strongly responds to that attention and connection with another person, and my Ne sees all the potential of the relationship and all these fun date ideas.

I guess I'm just bummed because a relationship of mine that lasted for 13 months (with an IxFP) just finally ended, and I feel like crap. And the same thing happened a couple years ago (with an ExFP), and I thought about her for AGES.

So is anyone else like this, or am I just weird and clingy for an ENTP?

Nah, my best friend is an ENTP and he's just like this. I say you're good.

 

[aef8234]

Something is thoroughly wrong with you if you act exactly like I do in relationships.

 

[deSouza]

There's a lot of bravado, but i'm sure most entps are like that. I usually dive head on in relationships, and that has made me scarred in the past. So I withheld myself a little bit, but all things considered, i think diving head on is worth it if the other person is there to hold you.

 

[Psyphon]

There's a lot of bravado, but i'm sure most entps are like that. I usually dive head on in relationships, and that has made me scarred in the past. So I withheld myself a little bit, but all things considered, i think diving head on is worth it if the other person is there to hold you.

I'd say it's pretty likely that those of us with the thicker hides have just built up a little more scar tissue than the rest. I'm an "all in" kind of person myself, but I've got enough scar tissue to walk through fire unscathed, so the risk level is pretty low for me.

 

[deSouza]

I'd say it's pretty likely that those of us with the thicker hides have just built up a little more scar tissue than the rest. I'm an "all in" kind of person myself, but I've got enough scar tissue to walk through fire unscathed, so the risk level is pretty low for me.

Baggage doesn't make one less sensitive. It makes one more sensitive, so you devise a lot of mechanisms to cope. More power to you.

I prefer experiencing it all fully.

 

[Psyphon]

Baggage doesn't make one less sensitive. It makes one more sensitive, so you devise a lot of mechanisms to cope. More power to you.

I prefer experiencing it all fully.

Meh, I'm not so sure about that. I understand what you're talking about, and I might have even agreed with you 10 years or so ago, but baggage is something you carry around with you because you can't or won't let go. Scarring comes from REAL damage, not from baggage. Sometimes I think of what it used to be like when I didn't have the scars and all I had was baggage. Things were different then ... but not better .... just different.

 

[deSouza]

Meh, I'm not so sure about that. I understand what you're talking about, and I might have even agreed with you 10 years or so ago, but baggage is something you carry around with you because you can't or won't let go. Scarring comes from REAL damage, not from baggage. Sometimes I think of what it used to be like when I didn't have the scars and all I had was baggage. Things were different then ... but not better .... just different.

Emotional scars never heal. Open wounds all over. You just learn to live with them. Hence more baggage or scars (whatever you choose to name it) makes you more sensitive. Which is not a bad thing. Building an armor for yourself is. Keeps you inside more than bad things to come in.

 

[Psyphon]

Emotional scars never heal. Open wounds all over. You just learn to live with them. Hence more baggage or scars (whatever you choose to name it) makes you more sensitive. Which is not a bad thing. Building an armor for yourself is. Keeps you inside more than bad things to come in.

Time heals all wounds. If they aren't healed yet then enough time hasn't been given. Whether armour is good or bad is really a matter of personal perspective. Sometimes the bad things need to be kept inside. That is a subjective decision though. Inflicting more damage to an open wound causes more sensitivity. Inflicting it in a different area, or to an already closed wound = thicker skin.

 

[fengshui222]

So is anyone else like this, or am I just weird and clingy for an ENTP?

i'll say that i'm not a romantic guy, but i'm pretty faithful.

i don't believe in human nature, i think we are much more bad than good.
And, because of that; in a relationship, i just use my Fe as much as possible to keep feeling the good emotions, to spend good times, and to create an healthy relationship. So i let the good things enter in my life. So like you, i put a lot of energy into the relationship

But i always keep in my mind, that bad things could happen too. So i always use my Ti to stay out of troubles. And if bad things happen; i use my Ti to think about what i did wrong. And to think that life is like that (good and bad moments).
in fact; my Ti always help me to Put in perspective my life.
I mean: she doesn't love me anymore..... There is so much worse things in life than that. And of course I lived worse thing in my life than that…

then my Ne tell me: "He fengshui!! there is so much opportunity to find someone new, someone more interesting, to have much more fun! What do you think fengshui?"
then I start to be excited to find something new to do or someone new to love.
So I am like you when I build a relationship, but I'm not ruined when it ends. Because when I fail, it is just another opportunity to find someone new.



Maybe you are ruined because you are scared to be alone again? Or because you think she was the one? May be I’m wrong, but you may haven’t develop enough you Ti? maybe that's why you're ruined when yours relationships end?

 

[deSouza]

Time heals all wounds. If they aren't healed yet then enough time hasn't been given. Whether armour is good or bad is really a matter of personal perspective. Sometimes the bad things need to be kept inside. That is a subjective decision though. Inflicting more damage to an open wound causes more sensitivity. Inflicting it in a different area, or to an already closed wound = thicker skin.

Wounds deep enough never heal. And armors do not really prevent the wound to reopen. In fact, they can make it worse if the blow is strong enough. You can't prevent pain.

As for bad things kept inside, interesting concept. But I'm not sure if they can be kept inside by this armor at all. Rationalization does wonders for people with high IQs.

 

[possiBri]

Wounds deep enough never heal. And armors do not really prevent the wound to reopen. In fact, they can make it worse if the blow is strong enough. You can't prevent pain.

I think all wounds heal, it's just a matter of whether or not you're willing to let them. Some people like staying focused on the negative, or holding on to drama — wanting to blame, even. Things in the past are in the past, and there is nothing you can do but learn from them (heh, I feel like I'm quoting Rafiki). It may hurt for a while, but holding onto hurt for a long time only depletes YOUR energy. Continuing to be angry/hurt by something you can't change doesn't do anything to make it better. Also, just because something has healed doesn't mean you have forgotten it, but wallowing in the memory is totally doing a disservice to yourself and wasting your time.

 

[Psyphon]

I think all wounds heal, it's just a matter of whether or not you're willing to let them. Some people like staying focused on the negative, or holding on to drama — wanting to blame, even. Things in the past are in the past, and there is nothing you can do but learn from them (heh, I feel like I'm quoting Rafiki). It may hurt for a while, but holding onto hurt for a long time only depletes YOUR energy. Continuing to be angry/hurt by something you can't change doesn't do anything to make it better. Also, just because something has healed doesn't mean you have forgotten it, but wallowing in the memory is totally doing a disservice to yourself and wasting your time.

I completely agree with this.

Wounds deep enough never heal. And armors do not really prevent the wound to reopen. In fact, they can make it worse if the blow is strong enough. You can't prevent pain.

As for bad things kept inside, interesting concept. But I'm not sure if they can be kept inside by this armor at all. Rationalization does wonders for people with high IQs.

All wounds can heal with time as long as you let go of things instead of holding on to them. You may not think so, but you haven't lived long enough to give them that time. Sometimes things take years, or decades ... but if you let them go they will heal eventually. Some emotional or psychological wounds cut deep enough to change you. But change doesn't mean "not healing". It just means change. Positive emotional experiences can do the same thing to you.

 

[deSouza]

I think all wounds heal, it's just a matter of whether or not you're willing to let them. Some people like staying focused on the negative, or holding on to drama — wanting to blame, even. Things in the past are in the past, and there is nothing you can do but learn from them (heh, I feel like I'm quoting Rafiki). It may hurt for a while, but holding onto hurt for a long time only depletes YOUR energy. Continuing to be angry/hurt by something you can't change doesn't do anything to make it better. Also, just because something has healed doesn't mean you have forgotten it, but wallowing in the memory is totally doing a disservice to yourself and wasting your time.

If the mere act of wallowing in the memory is bad, then the hurt has never healed. You simply don't think about it, but it is there. Its the very reason why the older people get usually the more baggage they have. People are essentially track records of their own personal histories.

But I agree with everything you said.

 

[Scarecrow793]

Maybe you are ruined because you are scared to be alone again? Or because you think she was the one? May be I’m wrong, but you may haven’t develop enough you Ti? maybe that's why you're ruined when yours relationships end?

I just can't understand falling out of love with someone. It's never happened. I just never see my exs anymore.

 

[fengshui222]

I just can't understand falling out of love with someone. It's never happened. I just never see my exs anymore.

like you i don't fall out of love too. but if the relationship is getting no where, or is getting unpleasant, i just stop it.
Sometimes, i had to make difficult choices to Forge ahead, even if i still love them.
it was always my Ti wich helped me to make those difficults choices.

And with time i forget more and more why i was in love, to move on to the next woman of my life.

 

[aef8234]

Emotional scars never heal. Open wounds all over. You just learn to live with them. Hence more baggage or scars (whatever you choose to name it) makes you more sensitive. Which is not a bad thing. Building an armor for yourself is. Keeps you inside more than bad things to come in.

Wounds always heal, salty tears in them just makes them fester and never heal well

 

[Sonny]

I'm very selective with who I get into a relationship with, and I don't "date" much, I get to know people in informal settings.

If someone does catch my attention I can be very one-eyed about it, it's just really rare for my attention to be caught. In the meantime I'm not romantic about sex.