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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I find that being an ENTP woman is a really tough sail through life overall. Being misunderstood, seems never-ending, and people are always unsure of you. Even when you're kind and have the best intentions. You always have to remind yourself, to be careful, in delicate situations, so that something isn't misconstrued once again. That is learned with age, but still, it is very confining. I know an ENTP man doesn't feel this much, but I think an ENTP woman would. I think ENTJ would be a bigger challenge. But maybe not. Any thoughts? By the way, I'm new, (intro at ending, I know, I know...)
 

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Welcome! Actually, my experience has shown that INTJ females have it pretty sucky overall. It's no picnic being an ENTP female, especially for those of us who enjoy computer science or engineering, but at least I have the charisma and charm that generally carry me and win friends along the way. I'm still capable of coming across as feminine, if not a little rough on the edges. But while my male INTJ friends seem extremely self-confident and chill, the "man's man" of intelligence and dominance and assurance, I have yet to meet a female INTJ who seems at ease with her gender. Women aren't supposed to care more about learning than mothering, or to dress in ways that don't accent their body, or to be honorable and blunt and determined before sweet and gentle. I don't envy them in the slightest.

(Edit) I want to add that I really appreciate INTJs and meant no insult at all. A few examples might help. One of the girls I'm thinking of had a deep fondness for the movie Yentl (of course, another refused to see it because too many people had recommended it XD). Both of those people gave little to no regard to their appearance and found being right much preferable to having friends. Though I will say, they were both geniuses at hand crafts, so…that's one point on the feminine side. :)
 

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Welcome to our little section of the internet! :D

I'm hesitant to contribute here, being a male, but I would like to point out that while society in general does not tolerate ENTP's well, I believe that female ENTJ's will have a much worse reception than their male counterparts. With ENTP's, the traits people don't like about us are frowned upon in both males and females, while the trait ENTJ females are often disliked for is actually praised in males. How many female Generals/Admirals do you see idolized in the media or in movies?


http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:...L4FbV3FbKUIVQpQNp7aIowhSpybPbQYee-Qxtyu-UU5uQ
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the thought. I thought the other challenging MTBI would have to begin with an "E". My experience with one ENTJ woman a while ago was she was pretty tough, really rough around the edges i.e. (wild language around a pretty tame crowd, it was horrifying) and also very much commanding everyone here and there around her. She was with her INTJ other half and he didn't seem to notice it. That was alarming. I heard perfect strangers talking about her during the event. I was totally put off, tried to keep it on the down low, but my opinion was leaking out by the end of the day in a few humourous ways I think. Self expression is one thing, but being completely rude, made her look bad to a big group. I don't think she realizes it. I don't know any INTJ women, but they would probably be like vanilla ice cream, seem sweet, but a bit cool from what you describe. How are they the same as ENTJ women? How are they different? If they like to command as much as the ENTJ I met, then yeah, they have a bigger challenge than ENTP women. INTJ men I know are kind of like that description of vanilla ice cream I think. No offence to ENTJ women, I only met one I knew for sure, and one I suspect, but in those areas they were about the same, just different ages.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you for the welcome Lime and Say. Yes Lime, I was thinking that to. It's okay, if you are a male, both sides might have friends they know in their life, and I'm just looking for opinions. I think what saves a female ENTP is they don't find commanding something they want to bother with much, if at all.
 

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I'd like to add that I had an ENTJ roomate for several months, and I found conversation really enjoyable with him, and would enjoy that sort of communication with a female ENTJ as well, since I don't get offended and I enjoy assertiveness in females.

However...

He'd get really frustrated with me, so I imagine the same would be true with a female ENTJ...they'd probably get upset with an ENTP female more than a female ENTP would get upset with them...I'm just talking about interpersonal relationships here, not a work environment. I'm probably off topic too...where were we?
 

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I feel that being an ENTP and female is definitely quite difficult at times. I tend to feel disconnected from everyone, and like I'm apart from the rest of the group — like an outsider staring in. I also feel like being a female ENTP makes it harder for me romantically because I don't act/dress/look like a "typical" female. I seem to make friends fairly easy, as well as irritate people just as easily. I love being an ENTP, but I also feel like it gets in my way sometimes.
 

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I feel that being an ENTP and female is definitely quite difficult at times. I tend to feel disconnected from everyone, and like I'm apart from the rest of the group — like an outsider staring in. I also feel like being a female ENTP makes it harder for me romantically because I don't act/dress/look like a "typical" female. I seem to make friends fairly easy, as well as irritate people just as easily. I love being an ENTP, but I also feel like it gets in my way sometimes.
Difficult, but nothing an ENTP can't handle :tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Yeah, it can be handled. But sometimes you get this overwhelming need to roam the internet and find a forum just like PC full of NT's that have to deal with this familiar irritation, and it has something to do with being in the company of misery, or is it the other way round?
 

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I've got a female ENTP friend who says that she's learned to live with being different ..... until she gets PMS. Then "it's all over" according to her. The impression I get is that her ENTP emotional barriers get overrun my her hormones, and since she doesn't really have a normal set of emotional coping skills (through lack of use) once those barriers are down she kinda falls apart. I told her that "I didn't have the slightest bit of envy for her situation. But I still wasn't gonna take any shit from her so if she thought I was gonna let her lack of control slide and not call her our on it then she had another thing coming." :p

If it makes you girls feel any better though I'd rather hang out with ENTP girls than any other type :)
 

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I recently posted how I wished I was introverted at times, and I still stand by it. Being extroverted, I crave external stimulation and can't stand being isolated. The main issue is that my emotional needs to be satisfied by connecting with other people. However, since we are social chameleons, we never show our true feelings to most. As kids we learned to fit in with sensors who mold themselves in common society, while deep inside we want to break free. It's -probably- easier for ENTP males because of silly societal constructs that males should be sharp and fast while stay females warm and soft.

I wish I could control these emotions, but I can't. If there was a way to switch off introversion/extroversion at specific times, that would be most convenient. But if there was that kind of mental switch, I'd probably be some boring, perfect robot. Where would the struggle be? :p

I actually love being a female ENTP, as complicated as it can be. Especially in our time, it's so fun and easy to be the ingenious modern adventurer- and still be female. I do believe we are more enlightened than our male peers. Assuming healthy, we've had to go through way more mental scuffles to get to where we are. We have the awesome capability to use our varied life perspective and apply it to multiple situations. I love that we can be both witty and demure.. and not just in different environments, but in ten minute timeframes.

Stay interesting, ladies. ;)
 

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I think everyone here is also forgetting the POWER that a Dark ENTP female can wield. All of you girls on here seem to lean toward the darker side of being good girls for the most part. Have any of you ever met the ENTP BAD girls. Like the really bad ones. Even my control is tested to the limit with those girls. It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to fall under their spell. Those girls might not be "healthy" but trust me .... society doesn't "get over" on them. They wield the power, and bend their environments to their will.
 

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I had ENTP female as a lab partner in college. Funny, attractive...she was like Lando Calrissian in a lab coat. Not sure if she ever struggled with much, but it was kindred connection either way.
 

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I suspect that while your ENTJ female might be less well regarded than an ENTP female, she won't care. The ENTP female might care. Fe is a bastard.

But then if it's caring about it that is the real problem, there are other types who have it worse. ENFP, INFP for sure.

I don't know about INTJ. My mother is INTJ, she never obviously seemed to feel left out. But then she's unusual in not really being into science and "male" stuff at all. Probably learned helplessness of her generation (she's 81), she is a true intellectual but it's all history, culture, languages. She's a whizz at investment but pretends that she's rubbish at maths.

Whatever...I feel I have grown comfortably into my ENTP-ness over the years, and it no longer troubles me that I think orthogonally to the rest of the world. I would so NOT like to care about nothing beyond make-up, clothes and gossip.
 

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Thanks so much for posting this!

I've been thinking about this for a while now and I've been struggling with both work and my personal life. I work in a heavily male-dominated workplace and I take crap from both the men and women. Some guys don't want me doing a man's job (yes, that still exists today), their wives give me the third degree about my personal life because I spend so much time with their husbands (to them I'm young, bright and single), women i work with despise me because i get along better with the men than they do, and the men I work with don't like being outsmarted by a wee little girl that think she knows everything. My managers are getting tired of defending me because I look like I'm wreaking havoc everywhere I go... I know, time to look for a new job or career...but why I should I change if they have the bad attitude?

As for the personal life, dating and other women scared me for many years. Over the years i've just learned to be extremely picky with whom I surround myself with. I have problems with relationships but mostly because i don't know how to express feelings... yuck. Some men are intimidated by me because I am completely independent and they feel inadequate or insecure as providers.

My two best girl friends are an ENTJ and an INTP. The ENTJ struggles too but she has a way about her that just commands respect so she doesn't appear to have a tough time. She also has no problem putting people in their place and she's louder than me. She's fearless with confrontation and has more tact which results in a resolution. I tend to have outbursts that slip when I can't bite my tongue anymore and the result is unintentionally destroying someone's sense of purpose in life. Not very lady like.

Being an ENTP is awesome. I wouldn't want to be any other way. But some days it would be so much easier being like the 'majority' of the population and just get along in a nice happy world. hmmm....
 

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Just do your thing. If you love your job, carry on doing your job. If you'd rather do something else then leave. But for heaven's sake don't go and find a female dominated workplace in the hope that you will fit in better. It is unlikely that you will, I'm afraid. Also don't limit your horizons and go and do something less interesting to you or less challenging because "society" says that women should not do what you do. Don't be squeezed into a submissive box by people who feel threatened by you. That is THEIR problem.

Colleagues' wives can be a pain: it gets easier as you get older and less attractive (hey, there have to be some compensations!). But I have always worked in a male-dominated environment (at my level: there are loads of women around doing other stuff)....it was a pain when I was in my 20's, but most of that hassle disappeared overnight when I got married.

Unable to do the job? hell, I've been doing it for nearly 25 years, and nobody has found me out yet.....
 

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Hmm. I was going to come in here and argue that introverted NT women have it harder, but you know what? I'm thinking maybe not. Introverts, at least, are pretty content just doing their own thing. I think extroverts suffer more when they are not fitting in. Could be wrong about that one since I can only speak from my experience.

ENTJ women probably have it harder than ENTP women. Being an ENTP woman is no picnic, though. I often feel misunderstood and have to alter my behavior. There are plenty of people who appreciate me as is, but it takes them a while to get to that point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanks so much for posting this!

I've been thinking about this for a while now and I've been struggling with both work and my personal life. I work in a heavily male-dominated workplace and I take crap from both the men and women. Some guys don't want me doing a man's job (yes, that still exists today), their wives give me the third degree about my personal life because I spend so much time with their husbands (to them I'm young, bright and single), women i work with despise me because i get along better with the men than they do, and the men I work with don't like being outsmarted by a wee little girl that think she knows everything. My managers are getting tired of defending me because I look like I'm wreaking havoc everywhere I go... I know, time to look for a new job or career...but why I should I change if they have the bad attitude?

As for the personal life, dating and other women scared me for many years. Over the years i've just learned to be extremely picky with whom I surround myself with. I have problems with relationships but mostly because i don't know how to express feelings... yuck. Some men are intimidated by me because I am completely independent and they feel inadequate or insecure as providers.

My two best girl friends are an ENTJ and an INTP. The ENTJ struggles too but she has a way about her that just commands respect so she doesn't appear to have a tough time. She also has no problem putting people in their place and she's louder than me. She's fearless with confrontation and has more tact which results in a resolution. I tend to have outbursts that slip when I can't bite my tongue anymore and the result is unintentionally destroying someone's sense of purpose in life. Not very lady like.

Being an ENTP is awesome. I wouldn't want to be any other way. But some days it would be so much easier being like the 'majority' of the population and just get along in a nice happy world. hmmm....

I could have wrote this, especially a few years ago, but even now. Getting it from all ends on some days is exactly the status quo, many times. These responses are really insightful. Trying to play it right in some situations is like standing on the edge of a knife. Alfreda is right, though, just do the work you love, even with the static. I have to agree too, that ENTP females, probably do have a harder time with being shut out by certain types of people more than an "INT" would. As an "E" we thrive with people. Except when we go through those loner spells. These comments are all great!
 
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