[jasonm]

As with other rare types, dating is likely a difficult or at least unique encounter. One description even said that INFPs may have the hardest time with dating/mating. Which leads me to wonder: do you or have you in the past found it difficult to date? I know I have.

If so, what are some of the reasons why?

If not, what are some of the reasons why? Do have any advice for other INFPs?

 

[Darkestblue]

I have never been on a date. I don't really like the thought of dating, though. That it's basically like an interview. Seems so impersonal. I'd rather be friends with a woman first, then take it farther from there.

 

[HannahDanielle]

I don't date.

I make friends first and if those develop into a more serious relationship, I go with it.

Then again, I'm someone who doesn't think sex is a really big deal unless you make it into a big deal so I leave the option open with all of my friends.

Few actually take me up on it though. I think it's because I don't go actively looking for sex. I mean, it'd be nice every now and then, but I can live without it and I can get it pretty easy so I leave it up to other people to approach me if they want it.

 

[Calvaire]

I have never been on a date. I don't really like the thought of dating, though. That it's basically like an interview. Seems so impersonal. I'd rather be friends with a woman first, then take it farther from there.

Same here,I've never really understood 'dating'. I like developing a connection with someone then deciding what to do,usually I develop connections with people I know but there have been times where I've just met someone and we clicked right away but still I gave it time before I really got into anything with them.

 

[tangential]

Dating is hard for me.
Reasons I can think of
-shyness = meeting less people = automatically less people to date
-shyness = takes longer to get to know people
-kind of a loner = i get more attached to the few people in my life since there are less people, each person is more important in my life and rejection stings more = can be perceived as clingy
-emotional = guys freak out
-need space = guys freak out
-need space = don't make effort to call/im/etc. = guy feels unloved
-low energy = don't plan things adventure some things to do etc. so maybe boring

 

[Nasmoe]

I don't date, but if I did I would imagine it being awkward. I have to know someone as a friend first or else I will be sitting there trying to make lame small talk.

 

[Ectoplasm]

I don't see the idea of dating either. To me it seems to much like a ritual or a formality for me to enjoy it. Plus who wants to be on a date when they think their date finds them boring? I've never been on a date and don't feel I'm missing much. If I ever found a woman and fell for her enough beforehand then perhaps, but not likely with a stranger.

 

[Jompson]

I tried the "normal" dating scene for a while. It took everything I had to start asking ladies out on a date and then when I would go out it just seemed pointless. I'm gonna pay for your dinner and whatever and we're probably never going to talk again?

I am definitely more comfortable "dating" someone I have already gotten to know. Formalities are burdensome to me.

 

[Doomjr]

We should all go on an INFP date to the cafe shop!

 

[Slider]

Over time, I've become more relaxed and comfortable with myself. Dating is now very easy for me...specifically, online dating.

I just don't have the patience or the motivation to approach a woman in public. I speak to women, but I automatically assume all of them are in committed relationships and, therefore, out of bounds.

 

[KiloBravo]

As with other rare types, dating is likely a difficult or at least unique encounter. One description even said that INFPs may have the hardest time with dating/mating. Which leads me to wonder: do you or have you in the past found it difficult to date? I know I have.

If so, what are some of the reasons why?

If not, what are some of the reasons why? Do have any advice for other INFPs?

Yep I sure do, my first problem is that i'm like hot and cold running water. Either I am really into the person and feel an attachment or I am not. I really don't have a middle of the road temp where things are just ok.

Alot of women don't seem to understand that i'm looking for something more. Im really into the whole soul mate thing. I have been through enough relationships and dating experiences to know what I want. Its not just about how she looks, but more so whats going on inside. (I will/have been in serious relationships with big girls just because they were so damn cool personality wise, if you are having problems with one type it may be time to look at other options).

The next big problem is the alone time, I did not know about the whole introverted thing. "X" woman would tell me "You seem so distant" I didn't know how to properly explain that I need downtime. In the next relationship I swear i'm going to give the woman a stack of books and say "I come with an operators manual, please read these books and if you are still interested let me know" I totally know that my personality type isn't what most Americans deem as "normal" so I guess I should do the explaining about this type of thing in the beginning, so the woman will understand before we start getting serious.

I'm better at showing my emotions instead of saying them. I say things to show what i'm feeling in a relationship just not enough I guess. LOL ok........ I am secure enough in my masculinity to say this........ I spend time doing the cutesy displays of affection for my significant other, cuddling all that good stuff. It never seems to be good enough, women always want to want the words........I say things when i'm really feeling it otherwise it doesn't mean much it just words or at least thats how I see it.

Well thats pretty much it, i'm certain there is more, its not easy being green or INFP rather

 

[Nightwind]

I don't date in the correct sense. I have relationships but because I don't date I'm prone to getting into relationships that are one sided and get hurt. My dad used to tell me I can see more than one person but the idea of dealing with more than moe was a but much for me. But I'm hoping to do better as I begin my graduate degree. I'm hoping to get involved in so rec classes and try....good god try :shocked: to open myself up to meeting people and getting to make friends and seeing who I meet. :laughing:

 

[Doomjr]

you know whats funny is that i made a bio on myself and gave it to a girl! she smiled at me! mmm that tickling sensation!

 

[Blue Butterfly]

I don't date anymore because dating is near impossable for me. I would love to find the perfect NF guy that will never happen. In person I am to shy to meet someone else that is shy. Online it is hard to find an NF that is close to my age. I am 46 and most men online are children to me. But am open for the right man.

 

[lopare232]

I have never been on a date. I don't really like the thought of dating, though. That it's basically like an interview. Seems so impersonal. I'd rather be friends with a woman first, then take it farther from there.

It really is like an interview. Most of the time, you're really not meeting a person; you're meeting their, like, dating persona. It's a lot like the presentable personality they'd put on for a job interview. Some people aren't as bad abput it as others, but either way, I don't really want to get to know a person that way. I think if anything, finding activity partners makes a better alternative to dating, you know, like someone you cook, run, etc with regularly. But nothing beats friendship first.

As an INFP, why might I feel this way? I think with dating it's hard for me to come to trust the person. If a person doesn't seem genuine from the get-go, it's really hard for me to move past that because how do you know what they're being honest about? On the other hand, if you meet someone totally casually, I find trust is a lot less often a problem.

 

[Stallout]

Dating has always been a bit out of my plane of existence... I tend to have a very reserved surface which can make me seem cold and uninterested. Ive always suspected my natural way of conducting myself drove away girls, even ones that might like me. I also have a hard time acting like anything more than a minor acquaintance to a girl, even if I actually did like her. I would love to have a meaningful relation to a girl who is a genuine friend but my natural distance to people I dont know well always keeps me from growing closer. I just wont do traditional dating because I crave a deeper and more meaningful relationship built with time. I just wish I could show that still waters run deep.

 

[hood]

I'll go out with a girl... but I don't really call it a date, just "going out". Once we've been going out for awhile then I start calling each outing we go to dates. Maybe if I find a really nice girl and we kinda click right away I might skip to a date

 

[Acey]

it's kinda tragic that INFP's are such hopeless romantics, but when it comes to actual romance, we're just...hopeless..

 

[MyHeartIsASpatula]

I don't like dating. It makes me feel like the person sitting across the table wants to take something from me. Even if they don't or if what they want is sex, it likely isn't what I want. This is most likely because of my own insecurity. Some people I'm just attracted to, most I'm not, and dating just feels shallow and insincere to me because what I want is trust, security and exclusiveness. It may also have to do with the frustration I get from single guys I meet and want to be friends with that want to be more than friends, like somehow it makes me feel like they value what I look like more than seeing what my insides are like. Big ball of narcissistic insecurity, wha wha, sad panda face..etc.

 

[Isildin]

panda face

aww! cute!

I don't really do dating either, i can't be spontaneous if i plan a date, ill just start thinking about what to, keep changing my plans, and end up hopelessly anxious, and just kind of, shut down