Is it a common thing among ENFJs to be perfectionists?

2241 Views 8 Replies 8 Participants Last post by vel, Sep 16, 2010

kiwigrl

Discussion Starter · Sep 2, 2010

I am so anal retentive at times about how things must look or be done that it is ridiculous!

I wondered if this is a common ENFJ thing or if its just me. It could be my 1 wing coming into play.

For example;
1.I will edit my posts if the grammar or the way something was worded isn't perfect in my mind.
2. When my husband does a household chore or cooks occasionally, I have to bite my tongue because his methods aren't good enough in my mind, or he just takes far too long to get the job done (I'm impatient too). I try however to ignore that fussy voice in my head and just let him do it his way.
3. I don't even know where to start as to my own image. The perfectionism makes me super critical of myself. I will take such great care to dress in a way that covers up the less favourable things about me and maximises the best parts. But some things I hate and it bugs me that I can't change. My friends think I am mad for being so hard on myself. One friend (who happens to be a large girl) heard me one day mention how I'd love to get liposuction around my stomach and said that she didn't know why I would say that, seeing as she thought I had a figure to die for.

I do think that it could be also a hereditary thing. My parents were perfectionists in certain aspects of their lives, so maybe I have been conditioned to this thinking. ??

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Nobleheart

· #2 · Sep 2, 2010

I think this is a combination of your 1 wing and being a J type. You've got a double dose.

I've got a perfectionist streak, but not quite as bad as some people. I'm pretty sure this is my J-ness coming through, as I'm an 8.

I know people who have this a lot worse than I do, and they're almost all Type 1s as well as J types.

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Jojo

· #3 · Sep 4, 2010

Selective perfectionist. Grocery shopping, games, events. Home no.

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kiwigrl

Discussion Starter · #4 · Sep 4, 2010

You should see how fussy I am with details concerning an itinery. I am the household travel planner. Actually I am supposed to be organising our next short trip right now, to Queenstown. I am afraid things just wouln't get done if I left it to my husband.

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yumiii

· #5 · Sep 6, 2010

I don't know if it's an ENFJ thing, but I also have the same wing and I most definitely know what you're talking about. I'm also very anal retentive of how certain things should be, I find it almost distressing at times. Like you, I also edit my grammar and spellings way too often if I notice one thing wrong- I even edit it in real life if I notice it. I can't seem to stop.

It's a pain when it comes to teamwork. I constantly triple-check and even then still edit all my group mates' work just to make sure that there is no mistake and everything is done to, well, perfection in my standards. Or close to. I'm really trying to downplay that, but it still shows from time to time.

Is it hereditary? I think it's more how you were raised, I suppose (my mother's a perfectionist herself). I'm not so sure about hereditary. One could make a case on it though, I'm sure. :]

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lastholidayhere

· #6 · Sep 10, 2010

I have to agree about being a selective perfectionist. I'm that way when it comes to packing and traveling. Also at work and organizing projects. At home however I chill out. My husband is the at home perfectionist!

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Mutatio NOmenis

· #7 · Sep 15, 2010

ENFJ's demand perfect, even of themselves. That's why they hang on to relationships.

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roxasquall

· #8 · Sep 15, 2010

Definitely. I've been working on my application essays for several months now, and people have told me its good, but good is not enough for me. I want them to be PERFECT!!!!

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vel

· #9 · Sep 16, 2010

Type 1 seems to correspond to really wanting to do things right. Is type 1 a common enneagram type for ENFJs?

I think I was more like this when I was younger (and type 1 is a common one for INFJs to test). I was extremely self-conscious of my body and hated making mistakes. I think it is party genetic because I remember as a kid I would start crying if I lost at a game when playing with other kids. So it was definitely a trait that followed me from early childhood. Right now on the grand scale of everything, small mistakes and irrelevant details just don't seem to matter. They don't appear to be worth the time and energy. I just learned to let some things go instead of critically and emotionally reacting to them. Hence I molded more into type 5 somehow.

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