I'll be honest, this whole thread is kind of confusing to me. You're saying so many things, going off in so many different directions, that I can't quite figure out exactly what you're looking for or what you expect. It doesn't help that I don't know the details of the situation, since it's all been kind of vague so far. But I'll still take a stab at this.
(In addition, I think in general female/female friendships are different than male/male or male/female ones, and that might be adding to my confusion as well as limiting how useful any advice I have to offer is. But I can still try, take it for what it's worth).
ND, I don’t understand! (For your information, I’m going to treat you as if you were her and play the scene out. Sorry, if it’s aggressive and scarily intense. Thanks for the insight. It’ll help me prep for the real thing.)
Why don’t you embrace emotion? In person, I would almost certainly beam at you and feel so connected and insanely happy. But if you ignored it, I’d think you chucked it out with the empty milk carton. Or would you keep something like this, hidden away in a drawer? Does it touch you that someone like me cares for you so much? You have an F for crying out loud… How does that work in combination with SJ?
Don’t you think I’m a person too? I have soul like you do…
Awkward, why do you care what I think about you? I don’t expect an exact response. Any will do. I just want to see who you are, and I can’t if you’re stilted. How do I know if you care if your body language says you don’t. That’s the same message I’d receive if you really didn’t care. And I already have an inferiority complex, so I’d go with the latter interpretation.
Here's the biggest problem I see...it seems like you're expecting her to be exactly like you, and that's where a lot of this clashing comes into play. Even though you've known her a year, you're expecting her to open her soul to you, to let out all of her emotions to you, to tell you everything about her....it sounds like you're not respecting her own wishes
In turn, this may cause her to do the exact same thing to you, just from the opposite direction. She's not being accepting of you for who you are, and this is creating friction and making things more difficult for the two of you.
So it sounds like to me that both of you need to just accept the other for who they are...and since you're the one who seems so concerned about the friendship, you probably need to kick start it.
It's like the whole acting goofy in public thing. If you want her to accept the fact that you're like that, you need to accept the fact that she's not. You should let her know that it's just a part of who you are...you're free-natured and just like letting go. But at the same time, you need to reassure her that you understand that she's not like that, and that there's nothing wrong with that. (Don't call her a "stick in the mud" until you have a really strong friendship and she knows that it's all kidding in good fun...if she doesn't know that, she'll take it as a judgment that you don't approve of her, and it will just cause more friction and irritation).
Don't try to force her to embrace emotion just because it makes you feel good. Don't force her to tell you everything when she's not ready to.
ISFJ's tend to like to take their time in getting to know someone, trusting them, and forming a strong relationship. We like to be very committed to our friendships, and that's why we're so cautious to form them. We want to completely trust someone, and to know that they completely accept us for who we are. When we feel judged by others, it tells us we're not good enough, and it makes us shut people out.
So basically, don't judge her, and don't rush her into doing what you want her to do. Just take your time, show your support and acceptance of her, and be patient. If you do this for her, eventually she'll come around and open up to you. Don't try to make her be just like you.
If you do this, it will help her to trust you, and eventually accept and appreciate the things about you that are different than her. Then the friendship will become stronger.