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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been having internet conversations with guys some of them flirty. I have a fiance... Is that cheating?:sad:
I've just been told off by my parents about it as they read one of my e-mails and blew up. God what have I done.
 

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If by the finace's standards it is cheating, then it is.. Some people are more open with their relationship and are nonchalant about these kinds of things.

A key question to keep in mind? If he did e-mailed other girls in a flirty fashion, how would you feel? What are some of the thoughts that come to mind?
 

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Oops on the grammatical error. :crazy:

No need to beat yourself over this yah... it's not like the behavior was intended to hurt. Now that it's become clear, it's definitely something to be a bit mindful about.

I've been told that when I smile, I'm cheating.. so no worries. Don't let others control you either. If you're friendly but respect certain boundaries then it's all good!
 

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I hope this post seves as a reminder then. Men usually are only about one thing and not always but most of the time it's not a good thing to play into their hands. I know you only think it's flirting but most of the time it's more serious than that. Esp. if you have a fiance who loves you. TY
 

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Every relationship has it's own standards of what is cheating but if it is something that you believe your fiance would not like then it is wrong for the health of your relationship.

Ask yourself if you are really ready to get married. flirting is fun and can be harmless at times but depending on how far it has gone you may not be ready to settle down with only one person. Also, would you think it was cheating if you found emails your fiance had sent emails to another woman with the same flirting?

good luck.
 

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To me I say no.... If you don't ever meet them. However, I would suggest a review on the relationship and communicating with the SO.
 

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None of us can say considering we don't know the exact content of the emails. Show them to him and ask him. If it's cheating he has a right to know. If it's not, then at least you can be free of guilt.
 

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You could be cheating emotionally, depending on what you've said. I wouldn't say you have yet, but I'd cut it off before it gets to that. In my opinion cheating emotionally is far worse than physical. If you slept with another man, I would be devastated and would probably have some trust issues but I could eventually work through that. If you trusted a deep secret to someone other than me, I would not give you a second chance. That goes for your friends too, not that you can't tell them stuff, but I want to know first. Maybe I'm weird that way, but honestly I need emotional fulfillment far more than physical, although in the end you should probably have both.
 

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If you think it MAY be cheating then it probably is.

In regard to your post, if the girl I was in love with asked me "Is it ok if I flirt with other people?" I would go "Are you fucking kidding me?" And then after she had been trying to explain to me that she just wanted to flirt with people online I would still go "Are you fucking kidding me?" And I'll just skip the B.S. and go straight to the source-- It's because I want her to love me as much as I do her. If she is flirting or want to flirt with other men, then it's obvious that she don't love me as much as I do her. And I know a lot of women go "That's just because you're insecure, blah blah blah, grow a pair, blah blah blah" and yeah that's true but that doesn't mean that she has to make me insecure with her own insecurity. Not to mention that she would be doing the exact same thing I don't want other women to do to me; Flirt with me just to see how far they can go without really taking it to the next level. I hate that shit. It means that she's either trying to be evil to other men, or evil to me, and I don't date evil people. If she wants to know how sexy and hot she is she can come ask me, or go ask her girlfriends, don't go around flirting with other people making it look like she's trying to keep her options open like a slut. But yeah, in no way am I addressing this to the topic author, I'm simply digging into my own past experiences here telling it how it is.
 

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I think there is a difference between friendliness and flirting.

If we're uncomfortable doing whatever it is in front of our s.o.'s face, but do it behind their backs, then it is cheating. Otherwise, there is no need to conceal.

When we have to 'keep secrets' usually something's off. (Either we're lying to ourselves, and/or lying to our partners).

Truly happy relationships include: openness/acceptance.

(P.S.- I don't think that flirting is okay either in front of or behind an s.o.'s back. I would hate to disrespect. At the same time, I dislike unwarranted accusations .. seems like this story is a whole different one altogether).
 

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I have been having internet conversations with guys some of them flirty. I have a fiance... Is that cheating?:sad:
I've just been told off by my parents about it as they read one of my e-mails and blew up. God what have I done.
What kind of internet conversations are we talking about?

I.

dustin - hey abitsilly
you - hey
dustin - i just ate some ice cream
you - o yea? lol
dustin - yep. it was AWESOME lol
you - mmm yummy ;-)
you - you dork. lol

II.

badboy69 - bitch wat time is it?
you - hammertime
badboy69 - bitch then why arnt u here banging me
you - oooo hahah
badboy69 - u got until 2 a.m. u late skank
you - LOL ok im on my way
 

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You need to break off the engagement. You are not in love dear. You are already doing this and you're not even married yet.

You are trying to stuff yourself in a box and make yourself behave. Let me tell you, the marriage certificate is not going to make you behave. You are not in love. It shouldn't be a struggle for you not to flirt with other men.

I say this from one ENFP to another. I think you have yet to find the right guy for you. You are not sprung. Do him a favor and let him go if you really care about him.

At the very least, just keep dating for a while. But call the marriage off. You are not emotionally ready and you may never be with this man. You can't possibly be feeling good about yourself while you are disrespecting this man.
 

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The main point of this "cheating" thing what you're doing but how you're doing it. If you're doing something potentially disappointing behind your SO's back and breaking their trust, then it is cheating. If you are doing something that you have shown or shared with your SO and he or she gave you their blessing then it is not cheating. For example, a few times my ex-bf has been talking online for fun pretending that he is a girl flirting with guys. But he showed me these conversations and I approved of them, so I did feel like he was cheating and breaking the trust between us.

As for flirting it is going to happen unless you manage to somehow completely isolate yourself from the opposite sex. Any time you smile or behave friendly with someone of opposite gender than can constitute flirting on your part. Just know your boundaries with it and instead of doing sneaky stuff behind your fiance's back either share about it with him or don't do it.
 

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Think about it. If you think it's cheating, it sounds like cheating and it looks like cheating, it's probably a cupcake. :crazy: But all jokes aside, think of how your fiance may take it. And don't get any more involved in this online flirt than you already are.
 

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I have been having internet conversations with guys some of them flirty. I have a fiance... Is that cheating?:sad:
I've just been told off by my parents about it as they read one of my e-mails and blew up. God what have I done.
The wisest thing is to avoid the flirty e-mails entirely.
 
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