Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,797 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My friend is an INTP and sometimes she seems to blow up about everything. Or rather, nothing. She especially likes to go on rants about how everyone is stupid. Whilst I find anger pointless unless I feel 'betrayed', which isn't very often. And even then I never show it. Directly at least.

I find it draining to be around her when she's like that quite honestly. Is this normal of you INTP's? Or at least is it normal in unhealthy INTP's?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,677 Posts
Well, of the three INTP's I know very well only one of them will get really angry about things.

My mom more gets frustrated
My friend I've never seen angry.

Really it's just been my brother's girlfriend (Not mad at me, or him, just a teacher) and then she didn't rant or yell so much as make it clear she was upset.
She also said that she was ranting when waiting in line to vote in the presidential election, because it took over three hours, and that's just not right. It was mainly just to amuse the people around her though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
My friend is an INTP and sometimes she seems to blow up about everything. Or rather, nothing. She especially likes to go on rants about how everyone is stupid. Whilst I find anger pointless unless I feel 'betrayed', which isn't very often. And even then I never show it. Directly at least.

I find it draining to be around her when she's like that quite honestly. Is this normal of you INTP's? Or at least is it normal in unhealthy INTP's?

Uh yes, i did that a lot when i was younger. more when i was in middle school but i got help and learned to control it at a younger age.

the best thing that helped me was someone that basically made me recognize when it was happening.

next you have to help her realize that even though she thinks she knows everything, not everone is worth telling. I always found myself correcting people that where wrong or said something incorrect. you have to tell her that she can correct people in a kind, calm, tone.

next you have to tell her that their are a lot of stupid people in the world and she does not need to concern herself about them cause she can't fix all the stupid. and they are not worth her time or energy.

she kind of has to work it out herself and most likely she will grow out of it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,468 Posts
I know that friend.

Good news is, if she's telling you, you're considered a friend.

Honestly, I'd suggest telling her that you don't want to hear her rant about how people suck all day, as it is very negative.

Friend =/= pressure valve

It might piss her off a bit, but in the end it's not your job to handle her anger.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,350 Posts
The link to the thread was pretty accurate. I do tend to find when I'm starting to get very stressed by something, I start making comments about things I don't like. I can end up talking in circles if I can't work out how to resolve the problem, too. It's usually a sign of severe stress over actual anger - anger for me is more like extreme frustration which can make me very emotional.

But if it's something I seriously disagree with, I don't need to be angry to give a full-on lecture about why it's bad, with a plan of how it could be improved.
 

·
Maid of Time
549 sx/sp
Joined
·
14,749 Posts
My friend is an INTP and sometimes she seems to blow up about everything. Or rather, nothing. She especially likes to go on rants about how everyone is stupid. Whilst I find anger pointless unless I feel 'betrayed', which isn't very often. And even then I never show it. Directly at least.

I find it draining to be around her when she's like that quite honestly. Is this normal of you INTP's? Or at least is it normal in unhealthy INTP's?
One of the typical strategies, as mentioned, is suppressing/stuffing anger and frustation. The INTP doesn't know how to deal with it, and the INTP feels that logic should rule and so the emotions are just ignored rather than examined and processed. INTPs typically see emotions as "outside things" rather than as part of themselves, at young ages; embracing emotions and integrating them is a learned behavior.

Another strategy I've seen on occasion is the "always angry" INTP. It's rarer, though. I've usually only met them only. Why? One reason is that the INTP has to trust you before allowing emotion to rule OR has to be very very angry to just let it go like that and react to the anger they are feeling. Rationality is usually trying to assert itself over feeling.

I had the chance to watch my one teenage INTP grow up -- watching someone from the outside -- and typically he wouldn't do serious rants. Mostly someone would do something he thought was stupid / didn't make sense, and he'd rant for about two minutes about it and then was done. he would only rant to our family or his closest friends -- people he knew well enough to know he could trust us. That was his way to blow off steam at how dumb he thought someone was being. It was typically about stupidity, for him. A lesser amount of time, he would rant briefly about inconsistency/hypocrisy, and then in third place was people who did something mean/unkind to others for no reason, because he saw it as unfairness to the victim; if you want to be respected, you need to respect others.

But usually these rants would be brief, and then he'd be fine. If an INTP is constantly going on and on, I'd wonder whether they were a typical INTP or whether they were in some pretty stressful/bad environment and needed to get out of it. Because prolonged anger and rage, expressed to others, isn't a great thing for anyone, and especially not to a type that normally can suppress or ignore such anger.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
745 Posts
I've kept a pretty tight leash on my anger lately, for a younger INTP. I can't say the same about a few years ago however. The only time I almost lose my cool anymore is if I argue with my parents, which generally renders futile. My father (ENTJ) is NEVER wrong, and my mother (ISFJ) is so hung up on social norms and traditions that you can't get anything through to her.

I can honestly say exercise has definitely helped immensely, if I'm ever stressed out I just hit the weights or run for a while. Tell your friend to go for a jog or a run when she's pissed, it's therapeutic I swear.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
749 Posts
I think I've only been angry about 5 times in my life and three of those were probably before I was ten years old.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
618 Posts
It sounds like you're describing an unhealthy ENTP. My sister is one and she gets angry at the drop of a hat, spending most of her time ranting about how irrational people are. It can be very draining. INTPs on the other hand are known for being very patient and likeable, at least, that's how I would describe the ones that I have met. And that's also how my friends describe me. Even if your friend was an INTP, I doubt that she would bring her frustrations into a casual conversation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
351 Posts
I don't get uncontrollably or even..."emotionally" angry around other people. If I'm frustrated, I tend to rant and pick situations apart to my roommates, though. I see this as being more...negatively energized than upset. Sometimes my Ne just needs external confirmation that a situation is, in fact, stupid/hypocritical/inefficient/unfair.

I feel ashamed if I do this for too long, though. I can appear to belabor a point when I come at it from angles that are only minutely different, and I really don't want to be the constantly bitchy person in my group of friends, so I deal with a lot of my ire by entertaining them with snarky commentary and making my rants witty.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
It sounds like you're describing an unhealthy ENTP. My sister is one and she gets angry at the drop of a hat, spending most of her time ranting about how irrational people are. It can be very draining. INTPs on the other hand are known for being very patient and likeable, at least, that's how I would describe the ones that I have met. And that's also how my friends describe me. Even if your friend was an INTP, I doubt that she would bring her frustrations into a casual conversation.
you are comparing i unhealthy ENTP to a healthy INTP. notice that their is only one letter different. we have already come to the conclusion that this girl is unhealthy personality wise. a Unhealthy INTP and a Unhealthy ENTP will act very similar. it is when they are healthy that you can tell the difference between them.

When i am upset i rage constantly about stupid/illogical people to people around me. now you could possibly tell if she is an E if she rages to just about anyone. if she rages to just a handful of people close to her, like i suspect this girl is. then we know she is an I.
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top