Personality Cafe banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Is it INFP quality or my own character? I really care about everthing. I'm very ambitious, so I spend long time studying and doing school projects and I can't stand failure. I hate getting bad grades and at this moment my behaviour is so bad, because I'm crying very loud, shouting and I'm so angry. I don't know why, but I can't control my emotions at that moments. Today I read diary written by INFP (It wasn't private diary, but "public" - you can go to book store and buy it) and she had the same problem. Is my problem INFP quality?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,277 Posts
Yes and no, the emotions are stereotypical INFP, but the ambition is not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
85 Posts
Hello @MadryCzlowiek

According to the web 16personalities.com exist 2 kind of INFP, the asertive and the turbulent

The asertive tend to live a more relaxed life, because they dont too much on problems. This might sound good but have a dark side. They usually dont grow because they prefer to stay in their confort zone even when the situation is bad for them.

In the opposite side is the turbulent (as you and me). They tend to care of things like personal grow, improve skills and experiment situations out of confort zone but our dark side is that we can be very perfectionist and live a very stressful and unhealthy life

None of both is good, the best is to be on the middle.

Perfectionism is seem by society as something good, but is NOT. Is very damaging and unhealthy, undestand this is the first step. This is usually caused by irrational thought. For example, If I put a goal to make 100 pushups but I do 80, the perfectionist feel guilty bur if think carefully 80 is good number. The perfectionist is blinded by their high standart and made uncapable to see their progress, they see in terms of black and white. But in life things tend to be grey.

I strongly recommend you the book "How to be an imperfectionist" by Stephen Guise, this book help me a lot to discover what a perfectionist is, and realise Im one of them. Now Im an imperfectionist, and live a stressless life even out of confort zone or working on my personal grow.

In this forum I wrote a post called something like "I found a way to avoid stress ", in this post I explain a technique I created when I was at university I put FuckThisShitism as name :) Something that shock me was this tecnique is cover on the book but with the name "Apathy of results". The concept is exactly the same. If this work for me for sure can work for you

Another point you should work is to develop your rational side, as an INFP we tend to be very emotional. Ok be emotional is not bad but many daily task in the modern world require to be rational instead of emotional. Rational/analytical is very useful to think clearly even on stresfull environments

I hope this can help you. If I have done a lot of improvements on this topic, for sure you can also do it! . Dont feel panic, think calmly :)

Greetings

Charly the Rabbit
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
I dunno.

I really care about everthing.


I don't relate to this. What does "everything" mean? I'm selective with what I care about.

I'm very ambitious, so I spend long time studying and doing school projects and I can't stand failure.


I relate to that when I was younger, before I turned 14. When I turned 14 I realized that the education system was a load of BS and a failure and I rebelled. So I am ambitious, but with different causes, not the status quo.
I was indeed obsessed with grades growing up (til 14), and whenever I got a simple A, I would get super upset, I felt like a failure of a human being, and I would obsess over it, but I experienced all of this in complete silence. I always made sure to appear stoic. I would spend my hours locked in my room studying harder in order to get back to my usual A+. Anything below A+ felt like a personal failure.
I grew out of this by age 14 like I said before, when I realised that the ed system was cancer.

I hate getting bad grades and at this moment my behaviour is so bad, because I'm crying very loud, shouting and I'm so angry.


Don't relate to this. I would never express my emotions outwardly, never.


 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,209 Posts
@MadryCzlowiek -

I do care very much about doing well in my work. As lazy as I can be sometimes, I do have a surprisingly good work ethic and am very conscientious. I don't know if this is INFP though. It seems like I care to please people more than other INFPs I know. I attribute this to the 2 in the my Enneagram tritype (692). It kind of all goes together. It is more about failing other people or being viewed as a failure that troubles me more than the failing itself. I know this because if I did poorly and no one knew, I wouldn't care. Well, I mean, I'd feel a little bad, but if it was private, I would be able to shake it off much easier than if I felt I'd be judged for my low performance.

I can be hard on myself for what I consider failure, but I still think (for me) it goes back to what will people think of me now and not about who I know that I am.

Perhaps, a good question is... Why do you care so much? Why are you reacting this way? Then maybe you'll be able to figure out if it self-driven, people-driven, and the root of it (self-worth?).
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top