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Discussion Starter #1
I have the impression that children who had hard childhood tend to be successful , intelligent and creative.

I don't mean by bad childhood that they we're abused by their parents or something, I mean like not a lot of friends if all and/or were bullied at the school.

I have an impression that that kind of children are more independent and more leader-like , even if they do not seek the position of leadership.

Do they try harder because they have been through hardships?

Why does it seem so for me?
Is it just a misconception?
 

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No, I have a feeling you're right.

My take on this is very simple:
A kid who never had to fight to reach his goals - whether his goals were set so low, or if he was spoiled enough, won't have any kind of reference framework for the concepts of "pain", "work", "discomfort".
The day-to-day "problems" of living will in that case be painful enough.

I'm formulating something I humbly call Mike's Axiom, which will have to be edited down into something a lot sharper.
The theory:
"For every task you take on, you can either take the pain and work up front and then kick back once you've extended your comfort zone enough, or you can fret and fear now and take the pain and work later on, and probably fail in your task."
 

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Well, as I see it, it's fifty-fifty. It depends on the person in question, and said person's personal resolve to strive for something greater. We've the people whose resolve is strengthened by such a childhood, and those whose resolve is shattered by it. It also depends a lot on his or her confidence, or if said person can find his or her talent. A child who already considers herself/himself useless and is then treated badly in school or is particularly lonely might end up shrinking farther into its shell and settle for less.

I've seen grown adults of both kinds - and children too, for that matter. My mother, who's a teacher, has a pupil like that. He's not an unintelligent child, but not above average - standing next to his brother who's considered a "genius", he only feels more "stupid" - and he's not very well-liked in school, though he's not terribly bullied, only alone. He believes himself to be a complete failure, and his grades are only going down since he believes that, "There's no point in trying hard - I'll only fail anyway." (He uses the same theory when she tries to make him make friends in class.) He needs somebody who pulls him out of that black hole, or he's just going to be stuck there for the rest of his life.

In the end, it all comes down to natural resolve. My philosophy teacher mused that it's something you're born with, I believe that it's something you build - with the help of your personality and environment. Even with a personality that is originally not prone to stubbornness and ambition, they can be affected by their environment, and vice versa.
 
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Why does it seem so for me?
Is it just a misconception?
I feel that you're right in some regard. And I would understand, as I myself have had a difficult childhood and have, so far, been moderately successful in my own life.

But then again there are some who have 'bad' childhoods and end up becoming 'bad' and 'unsuccessful' individuals.

Why it all matters is beyond me anymore other than the fact that, yes, childhood is such an important part in our biopsychosocial development.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
So what would happen if all of the children would have a bad childhood? Would the world get better from that?
 

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That remains as long as we count ourselves human. But when we make children suffer... a whole generation ... it would reshape the world for sure .... but into what would such a thing shape it into? A world full of malice or kindness?
 

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That remains as long as we count ourselves human. But when we make children suffer... a whole generation ... it would reshape the world for sure .... but into what would such a thing shape it into? A world full of malice or kindness?
I hadn't thought about it in that manner. Though, again, I doubt we can do much about it, I'm a bit irritated that children do suffer more than they should. I personally feel that as a whole we treat children like adults and don't allow them to experience childhood in totality. We don't care to even understand that a child is limited cognitively, emotionally and physically unlike many so-called adults. To expect that children understand 'morals' and 'ethics'; 'good' or 'bad'; 'pleasure' or 'pain because we say so is, ironically, more childish itself than not.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I hadn't thought about it in that manner. Though, again, I doubt we can do much about it, I'm a bit irritated that children do suffer more than they should. I personally feel that as a whole we treat children like adults and don't allow them to experience childhood in totality. We don't care to even understand that a child is limited cognitively, emotionally and physically unlike many so-called adults. To expect that children understand 'morals' and 'ethics'; 'good' or 'bad'; 'pleasure' or 'pain because we say so is, ironically, more childish itself than not.
It is true, but you must understand that if you treat them like a child until they're grown-up they will keep their childishness and will never be able to mature. Also where does the line run between child and an adult?
 

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It is true, but you must understand that if you treat them like a child until they're grown-up they will keep their childishness and will never be able to mature. Also where does the line run between child and an adult?
I agree with what you've said. Yes, children should have guidance throughout childhood and adolescence. But that is also easier said than done.

But I will also continue to say that the 'unique' issues that children and adolescents go through mustn't be neglected. I feel it is truly important that the child is moderately successful at each developmental stage (according to Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages, that is), as having reflected on my own life I felt I hadn't and was suffering because I hadn't.

I couldn't answer the question of when childhood ends and adulthood begins. I'm 23 years old, and while I may be an 'adult' in many regards I'm a still a 'child' in others.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I agree with what you've said. Yes, children should have guidance throughout childhood and adolescence. But that is also easier said than done.

But I will also continue to say that the 'unique' issues that children and adolescents go through mustn't be neglected. I feel it is truly important that the child is moderately successful at each developmental stage (according to Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages, that is), as having reflected on my own life I felt I hadn't and was suffering because I hadn't.

I couldn't answer the question of when childhood ends and adulthood begins. I'm 23 years old, and while I may be an 'adult' in many regards I'm a still a 'child' in others.
I have the same thing, I'm 18 years old, while I can hold my own in an intelligent conversation , people regard me as a child because I don't like to be serious all the time because it's quite boring. I have my own blog and my friends who are mostly at my age say I talk so wisely or something like that. I don't like it, because I feel that they have double standards for me. I can't be who I am just because they say it's childish, like being happy and carefree is a bad thing. Of course they are hypocrites in other subjects too but they're not important. The point is I'd rather be a child for the rest of my life than that what is viewed as "an adult".

I haven't come across the Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages, would you like to make a quick tour for me , so I would be more qualified to answer?

I agree on the guide, but every child is different, and they all need a special guide made for them, we couldn't generalize.


Is it me or are we derailing from psychology to philosophy ?
 

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I have the same thing, I'm 18 years old, while I can hold my own in an intelligent conversation , people regard me as a child because I don't like to be serious all the time because it's quite boring. I have my own blog and my friends who are mostly at my age say I talk so wisely or something like that. I don't like it, because I feel that they have double standards for me. I can't be who I am just because they say it's childish, like being happy and carefree is a bad thing. Of course they are hypocrites in other subjects too but they're not important. The point is I'd rather be a child for the rest of my life than that what is viewed as "an adult".
And I understand completely. Many of the 'adult' figures in my life were, in retrospect, disappointing. I don't want to become an 'adult' like those figures. At the same time they weren't that disappointing, as they had their own strengths as well.

But it's all difficult because I too am as faulty as them; life is truly much more complicated and metaphorically 'gray'.

I haven't come across the Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages, would you like to make a quick tour for me , so I would be more qualified to answer?
Here. That should help!

I agree on the guide, but every child is different, and they all need a special guide made for them, we couldn't generalize.
Agreed. I generalize because it's convenient for discussions here.

Is it me or are we derailing from psychology to philosophy ?
I feel that it's both. And, more importantly, it's an attempt to answer our own question(s) about ourselves!
 

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I have an impression that that kind of children are more independent and more leader-like , even if they do not seek the position of leadership.

Do they try harder because they have been through hardships?

Why does it seem so for me?
Is it just a misconception?
Using myself as an example, I know that because of past experiences I'm much more independent than most other kids I know. When I'm forced to work with others, I'm often the one who makes sure that everyone's doing what they're supposed to. I'm not sure I try particularly harder than anyone else (unless being diligent means exerting effort).
 
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