[The Vizier]

It's a common sight these days to find guys carrying their partner's handbags for them while walking around town. Some, both male and female, detest the very act, while others are cool with it. Do you think it's an act of chivalry or a sign that the guy is hen-pecked?

 

[Female INFJ]

NO

I don't date 'purse-carrying' men. I laugh at this because I observe this in malls, and my Dad is a very 'manly' type of guy, in Construction and stuff...and he will carry anything, and wait sadly in the mall for hours on benches, while my mom peruses the shops until night-fall, but will raise his palm up gently, and will NEVER carry a woman's hand bag. I did this experiment on my dad, because he scoffed and commented once about men who carry their womens purses. Some other guy talked to me about this once too. Are you a purse holder, The Vizier?

But I think modern men are bag holders - I don't hold this against them...I just would never ask my male friends to carry my hand bag. I don't think they'd like to either - the types of guys I hang with. The younger crowd doesn't seem to object.

I was once in a lingerie shop with one of those poor souls, his girl friend was loud and was kind of tossing panties as him, and all he could do was quietly wait, and hold everything, including her purse, as she was shopping, and try to balance everything. Other places I have observed men being dragged to 'the clothing show' which is kind of like a Trade Show of designer booths and vintage buys. The males that were suckered into going were very displeased, and most of them were Purse holders.

But I wonder...are INFJs purse carrying men? Will I be able to like a man who is a purse carrier? Can I allow a man to carry my purse?! hmm...My girl friend once had a boy friend who would go through her wallet - I felt very uncomfortable when he did this, I even said something about it - Well I didn't like him, and I knew he was a controlling guy. But that is another topic. No way would I allow a guy go through my personal stuff. I like my SPACE.

And what about man purses? That is a new trend that hasn't caught on too much here in North America - but I see some of it Downtown, in Toronto, among some 'chic-ly' dressed men. That's pretty bold, like a man wearing Pink frequently - this doesn't seem like INFJ behavior, because I doubt they'd want that kind of attention!

 

[krnjason]

Aside from people you know, you're never going to see those people in public ever again so why should this even be a problem let alone a worry?

I've held bags for my ex's and its not a big deal. I always thought it was weird that other people thought it was weird. I guess others have insecurities about the smallest things.

 

[skycloud86]

Aside from people you know, you're never going to see those people in public ever again so why should this even be a problem let alone a worry?

I've held bags for my ex's and its not a big deal. I always thought it was weird that other people thought it was weird. I guess others have insecurities about the smallest things.

I agree - if holding a woman's handbag is something that would make you question your masculinity or sexuality, then almost anything could.

 

[skycloud86]

NO

I don't date 'purse-carrying' men. I laugh at this because I observe this in malls, and my Dad is a very 'manly' type of guy, in Construction and stuff...and he will carry anything, and wait sadly in the mall for hours on benches, while my mom peruses the shops until night-fall, but will raise his palm up gently, and will NEVER carry a woman's hand bag. I did this experiment on my dad, because he scoffed and commented once about men who carry their womens purses. Some other guy talked to me about this once too. Are you a purse holder, The Vizier?

But I think modern men are bag holders - I don't hold this against them...I just would never ask my male friends to carry my hand bag. I don't think they'd like to either - the types of guys I hang with. The younger crowd doesn't seem to object.

I was once in a lingerie shop with one of those poor souls, his girl friend was loud and was kind of tossing panties as him, and all he could do was quietly wait, and hold everything, including her purse, as she was shopping, and try to balance everything. Other places I have observed men being dragged to 'the clothing show' which is kind of like a Trade Show of designer booths and vintage buys. The males that were suckered into going were very displeased, and most of them were Purse holders.

But I wonder...are INFJs purse carrying men? Will I be able to like a man who is a purse carrier? Can I allow a man to carry my purse?! hmm...My girl friend once had a boy friend who would go through her wallet - I felt very uncomfortable when he did this, I even said something about it - Well I didn't like him, and I knew he was a controlling guy. But that is another topic. No way would I allow a guy go through my personal stuff. I like my SPACE.

And what about man purses? That is a new trend that hasn't caught on too much here in North America - but I see some of it Downtown, in Toronto, among some 'chic-ly' dressed men. That's pretty bold, like a man wearing Pink frequently - this doesn't seem like INFJ behavior, because I doubt they'd want that kind of attention!

This is all very stereotypical, isn't it? The poor henpecked male waiting for his girlfriend whilst she shops for hours? I seriously doubt any couple would act like this, unless the woman was very controlling and the man very passive.

 

[Miss Scarlet]

Does it really matter? If they want to do then let them. If their partner is making them, well it's their fault for not speaking up more!!! Hahah!

 

[skycloud86]

Does it really matter? If they want to do then let them. If their partner is making them, well it's their fault for not speaking up more!!! Hahah!

What if they can't speak up? This may seem like a rather minor thing - and it is - but that doesn't mean worse thing are happening in private because he doesn't speak up.

 

[Allegorist]

I really don't mind, and I shouldn't really judge someone by them holding someone's handbag(s) or really owning a handbag to use. They're objects and objects that can reflect of who they are of what the exterior is and what is inside of it. As long as they're not like hitting people with their bags (Lulz.), then I seem no logical reason to object. They're merely helping out that person they're hanging out with and as someone has mentioned before, they have the choice to object or go along with it.

Bags are just bags.

 

[WickedQueen]

Uhmmmm.... I dunno, I won't let my guy carry my bag because I think it could embarrassing him, especially when he met his guy friends along the way. But if he is fine with it, then I won't mind either.

 

[Miss Scarlet]

What if they can't speak up? This may seem like a rather minor thing - and it is - but that doesn't mean worse thing are happening in private because he doesn't speak up.

Oh no! Carrying a purse well that's just the end of the world isn't it?

 

[OctoberSkye]

I usually don't care/don't notice what other people do or don't do.

But, I would not ask any S.O. of mine to carry my purse around when I am perfectly capable. I think if I can't carry my own purse, then I have no business bringing one along. Some women treat men as though they were accessories, something designed to serve them, example: Purse Holder.

 

[skycloud86]

Oh no! Carrying a purse well that's just the end of the world isn't it?

I said that it was a rather minor thing - sometimes minor things in public happen, and major things in private.

 

[skycloud86]

I usually don't care/don't notice what other people do or don't do.

But, I would not ask any S.O. of mine to carry my purse around when I am perfectly capable. I think if I can't carry my own purse, then I have no business bringing one along. Some women treat men as though they were accessories, something designed to serve them, example: Purse Holder.

Plenty of men act like that as well, it seems to be a problem with some people.

 

[Atenza Coltheart]

I don't mind it. To me is actually rather amusing. XD I've had to carry my own man-purse before. It doesn't bother me at all.

 

[CreativeDreams]

It's a common sight these days to find guys carrying their partner's handbags for them while walking around town. Some, both male and female, detest the very act, while others are cool with it. Do you think it's an act of chivalry or a sign that the guy is hen-pecked?

Let me tell you why it is NOT ok to carry your girls purse.

First of all. Before you go out you ask them, "Honey, do you really need to bring along such a large handbag", or, "Sweety, do you really need all of that?"
So they know. If they know, it is a matter of principle why not to carry.
If a girl asks to hold their bag it can be for 2 reasons.
A: She wants to test the guy.
B: Things normally go her way. Ease is standard in her life.

(Let me remind you, this is for the question 'while walking'.
Of course you can hold a handbag for a minute or so while she is doing something.)

Now you also have these guys offering to carry the bag.
What's up with that...right?

Now I admit, my view on man/woman..in some cases, it is simply black/white.
Because it is!
Man and woman are different and some things in a man you need as a woman and vice versa.

 

[overand]

I agree - if holding a woman's handbag is something that would make you question your masculinity or sexuality, then almost anything could.

thank you!

Oh no! Carrying a purse well that's just the end of the world isn't it?

and thank you!

a purse is an object. humans hold objects quite often. it is that simple.

i have gotten commentary from many people in my life poking at my "effeminate" nature. because i am neat and orderly that is a "feminine" attribute... no it is because i am not a slob. because i don't want to call people out and humiliate them i am a "pussy"... no i just don't want anyone pointing out my shortcomings because i am very aware of my own. because i hold my mom's or friends purse for a few moments i am a "queer"... no because in a relationship of any sort you are bound to ask someone else to carry your shit for you at some point. gender constructs in this society are bullshit. period.

 

[The Proof]

It's a common sight these days to find guys carrying their partner's handbags for them while walking around town. Some, both male and female, detest the very act, while others are cool with it. Do you think it's an act of chivalry or a sign that the guy is hen-pecked?

what the hell...

ok rephrase,

what exactly would make you want to carry someone's purse around? are you a professional baggage handler? because that's the only way this is ok

whenever you see a guy carrying a girl's purse, that guy has completely no boundaries, aka wimp

I'd go "it's your purse, you carry it" if asked to do it

 

[Miss Scarlet]

I said that it was a rather minor thing - sometimes minor things in public happen, and major things in private.

Yes yes. 50/50 men and women are violent

But women are more likely t get hurt.

Again it's a purse, big deal.

 

[Miss Scarlet]

thank you!



and thank you!

a purse is an object. humans hold objects quite often. it is that simple.

I agree. A purse is an object that has become a symbol that has no real impact on reality.

 

[SarahWilliams]

I think if you are secure in your sexuality, you can choose of your own free will what you will and will not do. IE, if you are a strong man, secure in life, you can volunteer to carry a woman's bag.

That said, I think there are women who nag their partners until they carry their bag. That, I think is stupid.