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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't think I have every seen an ISTP who was 100% faithful in a relationship. Monogamous, maybe, but there is always the wandering eye or flirtation with others. Is it possible for an ISTP to be fully committed and faithful to their partner?
 

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Once in my entire life did I maintain a flirtation outside of my primary relationship, and I won't go into details, but it was almost a survival mechanism more than it was anything else.

I'm absolutely faithful. If I even have thoughts of wandering, I immediately understand that the primary relationship I'm in is flawed somehow, and I take steps either to improve it or to leave it.

How many ISTPs have you known well enough to know that they're unfaithful partners?
 

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I'm probably competing with dogs in terms of loyalty given that the person would be worth it for me. Also, I don't think an ISTP would ever willingly cheat rather than break up blunt and then move on. ISTPs, though having their own morals, are usually pretty straight forward in such matters and don't play games.
 

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yeah, I would most likely be straight forward if I broke up with someone instead of cheating on them. If they don't like it, tough, they are the ones being immature and cannot move on with their life.
 

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edit:

The wandering eye will never stop because its in our nature. We see things that are visually interesting to look at. To not allow us to even take a glance at other attractive women would require shutting off our connection to the outside world.

If I'm on a date, I'll look at other attractive women, its almost impossible not to without making it a conscious effort. Problems come when we start thinking about the naughty things we'd do to them. That is usually a conscious decision.

Otherwise I personally would remain faithful to whomever I'm with because it was probably a hell of a lot of work for me to get them in the first place.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
edit:

The wandering eye will never stop because its in our nature. We see things that are visually interesting to look at. To not allow us to even take a glance at other attractive women would require shutting off our connection to the outside world.

If I'm on a date, I'll look at other attractive women, its almost impossible not to without making it a conscious effort. Problems come when we start thinking about the naughty things we'd do to them. That is usually a conscious decision.

Otherwise I personally would remain faithful to whomever I'm with because it was probably a hell of a lot of work for me to get them in the first place.
so you can't help but look at other women?... it is "beyond your control"???... So you must be okay with your girlfriend not being able to stop herself from checking out attractive men?... as long as she doesn't start thinking about the naughty things she would like to do to them?
 

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Meh. Girls are prettier than guys; I can't help but look at a beautiful girl now and then. It's human nature; you can't turn that off.

I don't understand why, when in a relationship, men are expected to pretend that NOTHING ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD EXISTS but the woman they're in the relationship with. Pretty things steal our attention, it's not personal. If we're going home with you, it's you we want. I can't help but look at something bright and flashy if it's in my periphery.

<shrug> I think the demands made on people in relationships are so confining as to create reasons for drama.
 

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so you can't help but look at other women?... it is "beyond your control"???... So you must be okay with your girlfriend not being able to stop herself from checking out attractive men?... as long as she doesn't start thinking about the naughty things she would like to do to them?
For all ISTPs care you can even think what you want, they won't put a leash on you. They probably wouldn't like to have to listen to it though. Bottom line being however, yes, it is okay. ISTPs don't or hardly ever get jealous, they're rather immune to the typical mind games.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
men don't have to pretend that NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD EXISTS. No one said that. ISTP women are the same way, this isn't exclusive to ISTP men. men don't like it when women look at attractive men either. It's dumb to blame a wandering eye on 'oh I just can't help myself'. I'm not talking about time when a model-looking person walks by... I mean of course everyone will look regardless of gender. ISTPs have a wandering eye for just about every opposite sex person who walks by.
 

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men don't have to pretend that NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD EXISTS. No one said that. ISTP women are the same way, this isn't exclusive to ISTP men. men don't like it when women look at attractive men either. It's dumb to blame a wandering eye on 'oh I just can't help myself'. I'm not talking about time when a model-looking person walks by... I mean of course everyone will look regardless of gender. ISTPs have a wandering eye for just about every opposite sex person who walks by.
And your giant generalization is based on....?

I was married to an ISTP for 7 years, with him for ten, and I am an ISTP. I'm curious where you're getting your information. EVERYONE looks when something pretty walks by, regardless of MBTI type. Unless they're blind or whipped.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
And your giant generalization is based on....?

I was married to an ISTP for 7 years, with him for ten, and I am an ISTP. I'm curious where you're getting your information. EVERYONE looks when something pretty walks by, regardless of MBTI type. Unless they're blind or whipped.
you were married.
 

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And your giant generalization is based on....?

I was married to an ISTP for 7 years, with him for ten, and I am an ISTP. I'm curious where you're getting your information. EVERYONE looks when something pretty walks by, regardless of MBTI type. Unless they're blind or whipped.
The sole fact one would feel threatened by it in the first place screams shallowness and insecurity. Unless of course we got ourselves a troll, which very well be the case.
 

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It's dumb to blame a wandering eye on 'oh I just can't help myself'.
Well you came here for answers and your answer is we can't help ourself. There is a clear difference between a look that says "ooo pretty" and a look that says, "I would do terrible things to her."

We like to always be aware of our surroundings. I was on a date once at the mall, and there were 3 girls off in the distance somewhere who were pointing in my direction and looking and chatting. I noticed them and started looking at them with suspicion. Some girl walked by our table with long blonde hair, my eyes darted up at her for a split second, then at her friends, then I looked off to the right and saw a couple of old people, then I looked at the marble pillar behind my date, then I looked down at my drink, took a sip, looked her over, noticed her uncomfortable body language that sorta said, "I feel awkward." She could have felt awkward for multiple reasons... 1, we weren't talking, 2, she noticed I was looking at other women, etc.

I started a new random conversation about pets, and from that point on my attention was entirely on her as she spoke. I have very impulsive thoughts, so once she stopped talking, I started scanning the environment for interesting things to think about. It can get us in trouble, but those who know us know we can't help it. If I bring a girl out on a date, I'm there to be with her. I'm not there to "see what happens" like most ESXPs.

So, with an ISTP, we're either completely aware of our surroundings, or we're completely oblivious to them. If I'm focussed on my date, it means my focus is outside my own mind, and when that happens I'm aware of everything that goes on around me regardless if I'm trying to not. If you want hardcore focus oblivious to everything else date an ISTJ (or is that more of an INFJ thing?).

PS: If my date had the wandering eye I'd probably ask what they're looking at. If their answer was, "that guy is a hunk," I'd probably try to ask questions to figure out what their intention was, and if it was bad, then I'd ditch em. I'd never make assumptions.
 

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Well you came here for answers and your answer is we can't help ourself. There is a clear difference between a look that says "ooo pretty" and a look that says, "I would do terrible things to her."

We like to always be aware of our surroundings. I was on a date once at the mall, and there were 3 girls off in the distance somewhere who were pointing in my direction and looking and chatting. I noticed them and started looking at them with suspicion. Some girl walked by our table with long blonde hair, my eyes darted up at her for a split second, then at her friends, then I looked off to the right and saw a couple of old people, then I looked at the marble pillar behind my date, then I looked down at my drink, took a sip, looked her over, noticed her uncomfortable body language that sorta said, "I feel awkward." She could have felt awkward for multiple reasons... 1, we weren't talking, 2, she noticed I was looking at other women, etc.

I started a new random conversation about pets, and from that point on my attention was entirely on her as she spoke. I have very impulsive thoughts, so once she stopped talking, I started scanning the environment for interesting things to think about. It can get us in trouble, but those who know us know we can't help it. If I bring a girl out on a date, I'm there to be with her. I'm not there to "see what happens" like most ESXPs.

So, with an ISTP, we're either completely aware of our surroundings, or we're completely oblivious to them. If I'm focussed on my date, it means my focus is outside my own mind, and when that happens I'm aware of everything that goes on around me regardless if I'm trying to not. If you want hardcore focus oblivious to everything else date an ISTJ (or is that more of an INFJ thing?).

PS: If my date had the wandering eye I'd probably ask what they're looking at. If their answer was, "that guy is a hunk," I'd probably try to ask questions to figure out what their intention was, and if it was bad, then I'd ditch em. I'd never make assumptions.

Basically the same for me. I tend to constantly scan my surroundings, constantly measuring up people in case the situation goes to hell. I like to know intentions of those in my surroundings.
 

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so you can't help but look at other women?... it is "beyond your control"???... So you must be okay with your girlfriend not being able to stop herself from checking out attractive men?... as long as she doesn't start thinking about the naughty things she would like to do to them?
My ISTP husband and I both look at attractive people. We even talk about who we think is attractive to each other. To me it shows trust and security. We both enjoy the aesthetically pleasing, people and things alike.

I get the impression you've had some bad experiences with an ISTP. You made a comment in another thread about it not being possible for them to commit to anyone long term. How many ISTPs have you had dealings with? It doesn't seem fair to make such statements for the entire type....
 

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Jealousy
thats all that i can see from the whole thread. You are consumed by it and even though you have your answer, you can't accept it. I know that i would never consciously ever cheat on my girlfriend. First, i'd tell her it's over before even considering the other options.
 
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My boyfriend (ISTP) is 100% faithful. He doesn't even look at other girls. I'm not being naive about it either XD.

(Actually, I find myself never being able to be oblivious to my surroundings unless I'm deep in thought. And if I'm not deep in thought, I get distracted easily. And when I am talking to someone, in order to listen to what they are saying, I can never be deep in thought.)
 

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Honestly, I could give two shits less who my husband looks at. As long as he is not breaking his neck or being blatantly disrespectful. When I got married I didn't tell him to hand over his eyes and his nuts. He is a grown man and if he feels he wants to look at someone, then he can go right ahead. You see, that's the beauty of being an ISTP. We are confident, don't have that nasty jealous streak, and usually don't suffer from insecurities...especially when it comes to matters of the heart. We are led by our heads, and not by our hearts so it makes logical sense that if you have eyeballs in your head you can and should use them to look around.

As far as cheating is concerned, I am a loyal person in all aspects of my life. Cheating is far too much work and I am not interested in creating problems for myself. It's not the person I am and I don't get into relationships with the notion that cheating is a possibility. I like to focus on one thing at a time. When and if I am no longer interested I stop whatever it is that had my attention and I move on to something else. I do not have a bunch of projects going on at once, and the same thing goes for relationships. At my worse I am a serial dater, at my best I am a very loyal and devoted partner. At then end of the day what is the point of cheating? ISTP's are practical people and to me cheating is very impractical.
 
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