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Discussion Starter #1
...free of anyone's opinion? How is it possible to be self-sufficient if appreciation is crucial to who we are (generally speaking)? :frustrating:
 

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i think that being self sufficient is, in itself, a way of gaining appreciation. having someone recognize and acknowledge our awesome quiet way of doing things is ultimately just icing on the cake.. and it keeps our engines running!

for me, personally, i can live without the recognition. another thing i can live without, disregard and disrespect. if i've invested my own time towards a person or their cause and have been mistreated despite my efforts, then hell, i'll derail myself and hold a grudge against them until the end of time.

and so i'll be upset and gloomy for a day or two.. then find some new task to busy myself with..
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Flory, thanks for the reply. I hold really long grudges too :/
 

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LiquidCool,

I was just aiming a question at older and wiser ISFJs (technically, they don't have to be older...) who have come to a place where they are just fine (in other words, self-sufficient) with or without the appreciation that generally contributes a lot to being an ISFJ.
 

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I was just aiming a question at older and wiser ISFJs (technically, they don't have to be older...) who have come to a place where they are just fine (in other words, self-sufficient) with or without the appreciation that generally contributes a lot to being an ISFJ.
I don't know about anyone else but this is something that comes and goes for me. I'm mostly self-sufficient now in that wile I like being around people who uplift me and I like getting appreciation from them it's not crucial to my life or wellbeing. When I was a teenager I was much more caught up on being accepted and being part of the group but as I grew older it became less important to me and while the disapproval of people I admire isn't fun and can make me feel awkward for a while it doesn't crush me the way it used to. I still have times, at times when my life is at its most insecure (so in totally new situations or really stressful events), that sense of needing support and appreciation but those times don't usually happen very often.

You're starting out at university, right? That was the time where I made the most progress in this. Being away from home, with new people and new ideas, it was all very stimulating and the people don't have preconceptions of who you are so you can explore yourself in a bit more depth. That's where I discovered that I actually could stand on my own two feet and that people would still like me even if I wasn't 'perfect' all the time. It was liberating.
 
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we are not victims of our type, we can grow and gain self esteem. We can realize that other people are just as flawed and we dont need their opinions to define us, it may change our type... but its totally possible.
 
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LiquidCool,

I was just aiming a question at older and wiser ISFJs (technically, they don't have to be older...) who have come to a place where they are just fine (in other words, self-sufficient) with or without the appreciation that generally contributes a lot to being an ISFJ.
I don't want to sidetrack the thread too much. I'm just trying to understand why the question was asked. I consistently read about the issue in the ISFJ profiles, but it always seems to me as though the issue is extremely exaggerated.

I figured that asking the question might cause some individuals to consider the initial question and the assumptions that are read into the initial question while also giving me some more insight into the issue and pulling out a different aspect of your question. Admittedly, that might have failed miserably.

[/thread derail][/explanation]
 

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I'd like to consider myself self-sufficient. I'm independent. I do things for others because I want to do them. If they're not appreciative, I don't care. I'm doing it for the experience, for the satisfying of a simple desire of wanting to do it. I think that people who are dependent on other people's feelings (especially their expressions of gratitude) to be happy are basically setting themselves up to be unhappy. I think that ISFJs are the most susceptible to feel dependent on others appreciation for what they do but, that doesn't mean that they can't grow and realize that the only opinion that truly matters and should determine their happiness is their own.
 
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