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Yes, for some people, it is possible to love more than one person at a time. It's called polyamory. For others, it is impossible to love more than one person at a time and are very happy being monogamous.

The point of polyamory, however, is to be open and honest with all parties involved. What is happening with you three is not healthy for any of you. You're right, people are going to get hurt.

For one, he needs to tell his wife what is going on. Secondly, I would highly suggest you stay apart from him. He made his decision to be with the other woman and I think you should try to respect that.

If you are okay with the possible situation of a polyamorous relationship with him and his wife, tell him! If he feels the same he should ask his wife what her feelings are. For all we know she would be very open to the idea. But no matter what, she needs to know what is going on. It's not fair to keep her in the dark. Your lover may have to come to terms with the fact that he may have to choose.

I wish you luck in this situation, it is a very tricky one!
 
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