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Discussion Starter #1
Probably "suppress" is the wrong term... More like lessen the impact of. Lets just say, you find that your dominant function is overall doing more harm than good to your well being. it still will always be there to an extent but...You want to focus on the other functions in your stack, the ones which arent as.developed, without it hindering your success at this task. Is it possible to even try to do this?
 

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No.
For brief moments in your life, you might slip under the grip of your inferior function or the opposite attitude function but otherwise, no.


Don't bother developing functions that aren't your dominant or auxiliary function.

Developing your dominant function will develop your inferior and developing your auxiliary will develop your tertiary anyway.

Your dominant function isn't doing more harm than good, this isn't a possibility - work on your auxiliary function and apply it to yourself.

For example I as an INTJ might succumb to inferior Se and get paranoid every fucker around me is listening to every word I say, my tertiary Fi will pop in and say yes son everyone IS listening to every word you say, you're right to feel this way! Fuck em!

What needs to happen is to apply Te to myself - have a think about what's happening, does it make actual logical sense, is it realistic that anyone gives 2 shits about me right now? Etc etc you get the gist.


The 5th function, the opposing attitude to your dominant function, can overtake your dominant function for very brief moments in time, literally seconds, i.e Ne in an INTJ under stress thinking up a heap of reasons why someone is full of shit and then actually verbalising one of them, when normally, they're an introverted perceiver and would usually just keep it all inside, take it all in.

Hope this helps.

TL;DR no
 
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Discussion Starter #3
@Turi Er thanks I guess...but mine is actually not helping at all lol. I believe I might be an ESFJ and became a Fe-dom only due to desperately craving people's attention and using them to validate my worth. I'm also in a pretty emotionally abusive situation currently, so being a Fe user is doing more harm than good lol. It basically became this dark secret I have; the part of me I'm really not a part of, but it's just how I naturally act due to my past.and I've developed social anxiety because of it. I was trying to see if I could learn to stop caring so much about what others think of me, become more objective rather than pleasing everyone and shutting up, etc.
 

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@Turi Er thanks I guess...but mine is actually not helping at all lol. I believe I might be an ESFJ and became a Fe-dom only due to desperately craving people's attention and using them to validate my worth. I'm also in a pretty emotionally abusive situation currently, so being a Fe user is doing more harm than good lol. It basically became this dark secret I have; the part of me I'm really not a part of, but it's just how I naturally act due to my past.and I've developed social anxiety because of it. I was trying to see if I could learn to stop caring so much about what others think of me, become more objective rather than pleasing everyone and shutting up, etc.
If you're an ESFJ then to get out of any shit, you need to apply your Si to yourself and determine what is important to you, what are your personal values, what makes you "you" - you need to have a think about those kinds of things and apply them to yourself.

You can't just remain in extraverted mode (between Fe and Ne) as you'll lose your identity and become basically a slave. Fuck that. Learn how to develop Si.

Now if you're not sure whether you actually are an ESFJ, I would recommend reading up on this:

mbti-notes.tumblr.com/theory

Try to identify your dominant function first and go from there.


If it's easier for you, you could fill out a questionnaire or something from the "whats my type" section on this forum and we'll try help you out.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
If you're an ESFJ then to get out of any shit, you need to apply your Si to yourself and determine what is important to you, what are your personal values, what makes you "you" - you need to have a think about those kinds of things and apply them to yourself.

You can't just remain in extraverted mode (between Fe and Ne) as you'll lose your identity and become basically a slave. Fuck that. Learn how to develop Si.
That sounds a lot like Fi, no? I never really understood what Si is compared to other introverted functions (and already read through a lot of the post you linked!). From what I read from ESFJs, its basically used to supplement Fe- helping them learn the details of their loved ones and people to connect with them better- but not sure how that would help combat the negative parts of Fe, I.e. learning to think for yourself.

I actually thought Si was more of a way to become more cautious about the future, which I am. Fear of change and dealing with it, trying to find a safe and secure path to life, etc. As opposed to Ni which does the same thing but through epiphanies that come out of nowhere.
 

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I feel like it could be done but only partially and it would be much easier with some functions than others.

I live in my head way too much and need to curb that. That's just one aspect of having Ni. It's manageable but only with extreme effort. Another part of Ni is that I'm always focused on the end point of something. I'm always planning everything out really far ahead. I don't think this is something I can control, even with serious effort. It happens too quickly and automatically for me to catch myself doing it.

I think we have to get good at recognising when we're letting things get out of control and figure out ways to talk ourselves into back into balance quickly.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I feel like it could be done but only partially and it would be much easier with some functions than others.

I live in my head way too much and need to curb that. That's just one aspect of having Ni. It's manageable but only with extreme effort. Another part of Ni is that I'm always focused on the end point of something. I'm always planning everything out really far ahead. I don't think this is something I can control, even with serious effort. It happens too quickly and automatically for me to catch myself doing it.

I think we have to get good at recognising when we're letting things get out of control and figure out ways to talk ourselves into back into balance quickly.
I have a tendency to plan as well (although, because I keep changing my mind every other day as to what I want to do with my life, these plans aren't ever very detailed and consistent), but I plan based on what I can anticipate as."most likely" happening in my future. That includes my worst case scenario type future and how I could overcome those hurdles. Does your Ni work as a thought or a strong "gut" feeling about something seemingly out of nowhere and rather randomly?
 

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That sounds a lot like Fi, no? I never really understood what Si is compared to other introverted functions (and already read through a lot of the post you linked!). From what I read from ESFJs, its basically used to supplement Fe- helping them learn the details of their loved ones and people to connect with them better- but not sure how that would help combat the negative parts of Fe, I.e. learning to think for yourself.

I actually thought Si was more of a way to become more cautious about the future, which I am. Fear of change and dealing with it, trying to find a safe and secure path to life, etc. As opposed to Ni which does the same thing but through epiphanies that come out of nowhere.
It sounds like what everyone misinterprets to be Fi, yes.

Si isn't about being cautious it's about stabilisation, it wants a connection between what is happening and what it already knows, in this sense it is similar to Fi however it's not a judging function, so it doesn't make decisions, it's pure perception based on the users own completely subjective experience.

Si is only used to help learn shit about your family and loved ones if they're a major interest to you - Si doesn't care about anything it's not interested in, it will filter out things the user doesn't care about.

If your interest is say, Pokemon, then Si wants to deep dive into Pokemon and it will remember loads of shit about it, it will absorb any and all Pokemon information and this will basically become a part of who you are as a person.

Si dominants will feel a sense of pride in the fact that they're masters of this or that, essentially their interests become them, they ARE the Si dominant.
I.e you would BE a Pokemon master. This would be very important to you and you would love knowing that everyone else knows you are the Pokemon master because it's you.


So this is why if you are an ESFJ stuck in extravert mode, you need to develop your Si - who are you?
What is important to you? Get into this.
Apply this to yourself. Be the Pokemon champ.
Sure, ESFJs aren't Si dominants but they DO need to develop this inner sense of identity to better enable them to live through their dominant Fe in a healthy way.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
It sounds like what everyone misinterprets to be Fi, yes.

Si isn't about being cautious it's about stabilisation, it wants a connection between what is happening and what it already knows, in this sense it is similar to Fi however it's not a judging function, so it doesn't make decisions, it's pure perception based on the users own completely subjective experience.

Si is only used to help learn shit about your family and loved ones if they're a major interest to you - Si doesn't care about anything it's not interested in, it will filter out things the user doesn't care about.

If your interest is say, Pokemon, then Si wants to deep dive into Pokemon and it will remember loads of shit about it, it will absorb any and all Pokemon information and this will basically become a part of who you are as a person.

Si dominants will feel a sense of pride in the fact that they're masters of this or that, essentially their interests become them, they ARE the Si dominant.
I.e you would BE a Pokemon master. This would be very important to you and you would love knowing that everyone else knows you are the Pokemon master because it's you.


So this is why if you are an ESFJ stuck in extravert mode, you need to develop your Si - who are you?
What is important to you? Get into this.
Apply this to yourself. Be the Pokemon champ.
Sure, ESFJs aren't Si dominants but they DO need to develop this inner sense of identity to better enable them to live through their dominant Fe in a healthy way.
So Si = detail oriented towards ones interests. Meaning learning all sorts of facts. And Se = actually engaging with the outside world. More hands on activity like art, machinery, etc.
So what "interests" would a Si user have as opposed to a Ni user? I'm asking because I noticed the example you provided, Pokemon Cards, is very "concrete" in that there are tons of random things to learn about Pokemon. If a Si user was interested in a more creative activity, like writing or a Se-type hands on activity such as art, that would entirely be due to Ne?
 

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So Si = detail oriented towards ones interests. Meaning learning all sorts of facts. And Se = actually engaging with the outside world. More hands on activity like art, machinery, etc.
So what "interests" would a Si user have as opposed to a Ni user? I'm asking because I noticed the example you provided, Pokemon Cards, is very "concrete" in that there are tons of random things to learn about Pokemon. If a Si user was interested in a more creative activity, like writing or a Se-type hands on activity such as art, that would entirely be due to Ne?
Nah.. there's no reason an Si type wouldn't be into mechanics, or philosophy, etc, things typically "N" or Se..

I don't really think any function or type is more or less likely to have any particular interests that are related to the stereotypes outside of Se because Se types have to engage with their environment in one way or another in order to input information, so it makes sense they would definitely lean more towards "doing" type activities rather than purely mental activities.. everything else... nah.


A better way to compare Ni and Si is with regards to how they receive information.

So yes, Si is detail oriented with regards to the users interests, it absorbs all information relevant to what interests them and from there can explore the possibilities with Ne. It seeks to apply this information to current situations as they occur - it uses what it's learnt in the past to stabilise the present - connects he present moment to the past via common ground/a connection.

Ni on the other hand absorbs all information it can via Se (not focused like Si), very generally, and processes it, trying to make sense of things in real time based on the information it is given - this is why Ni users often feel they just "know" things and can't explain it - their Se is picking everything up but because it's their inferior function they aren't aware of this part, they are just focused on the Ni part where it is putting all the information together and telling them how things will be.. it's not connecting the past to the present like Si-Ne does, it's connecting the present to the future.


Re: Pokemon imagine the Si user knows all the ins and outs of EV training, breeding for IVs etc, has all the tastiest movesets, has all the right egg moves etc and they have a solid a.f team - they will stick with this team come hell or high water until it's proven not to work.
When faced with any new challenges they will just change their lead Pokemon or maybe alter the party slightly but it will be based off of a core foundation at the very least, because it works!
They stabilise the present by using the past as a guide.


Ni on the other hand, imagine they may/may not have as much in-depth knowledge regarding the specifics of EV training and IV breeding etc but they've got "the gist" of it - and their team isn't set in stone - they'll have a variety of Pokemon ready to go and will create a new team from scratch depending on what they foresee the challenge to be - this will look like mind games, trying to guess the opponents party or lead Pokemon, and they will rely more on predictions moves than other types might do - so they might drop the occasional Earthquake on a Gyarados but for the most part, their predictions are pretty accurate after all they rely on their Ni to survive in life it's their dominant function, you can bet your bottom dollar they're going to land a prediction Thunderbolt and drop that Gyarados when it switches in from your Rhydon, at some point, for example.
 

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@Turi Er thanks I guess...but mine is actually not helping at all lol. I believe I might be an ESFJ and became a Fe-dom only due to desperately craving people's attention and using them to validate my worth. I'm also in a pretty emotionally abusive situation currently, so being a Fe user is doing more harm than good lol. It basically became this dark secret I have; the part of me I'm really not a part of, but it's just how I naturally act due to my past.and I've developed social anxiety because of it. I was trying to see if I could learn to stop caring so much about what others think of me, become more objective rather than pleasing everyone and shutting up, etc.
At this point you need to do two things.

1) Forget and ignore all you ever learned about MBTI and functions.
2) Develop more confidence.

The former is easy, the latter is not; but it's not because of functions.
 

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At this point you need to do two things.

1) Forget and ignore all you ever learned about MBTI and functions.
2) Develop more confidence.

The former is easy, the latter is not; but it's not because of functions.
I understand where you're coming from but this kind of thing is like the whole reason to be into typology - for self development, to help get out of those kinds of ruts.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I understand where you're coming from but this kind of thing is like the whole reason to be into typology - for self development, to help get out of those kinds of ruts.
Typology itself is only a theory. Yes I can see it seems to make sense a lot of times, but even psychologists today don't understand the full cause and impact of mental illness. Obviously I need to develop some hobbies but... I'm not sure if being a Fe person is the healthiest path for me since I became this way out of desperation. I blow up into an emotional rage at those around me constantly, and then try to beg myself back in, hot and cold trying to get on their good side when they're really being cold and abusive. This even led to me exploding at people outside my family a few times, which was completely embarrassing. I can't read anything or hear anything which somehow hints at my insecurities; being objective and logical is almost impossible for me, but due to self esteem reasons. Perhaps find in hobbies is the best way to go about doing things, but frankly I lose interest in almost everything I do within a few days. effect of depression I suppose.
Maybe you're right and this is the way to do things, but I think I need to deal with the route causes of my mental health issues before I can think about typology...I know I'll never be as smart as you folks on here who claim to be intuitive, but at the very least maybe afterwards I can be the best XSXX type that I truly am. Thanks for your help in clarifying things :)
 

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If you're not utilizing your other functions than yeah. Ti is heavily reliant on Pe to take in information and synthesize. I was in a rut a few months back so I really had no new information to look at and was bored. I didn't try anything new out of laziness mostly. So I'd just think about the same stuff and do the same stuff and it was exhausting.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
If you're not utilizing your other functions than yeah. Ti is heavily reliant on Pe to take in information and synthesize. I was in a rut a few months back so I really had no new information to look at and was bored. I didn't try anything new out of laziness mostly. So I'd just think about the same stuff and do the same stuff and it was exhausting.

So. Damn. Relatable. This is me. Except it seems I've been in a rut my entire life. XD I can't remember a time I did not have self esteem issues or weird cases of narcissism. It's funny, because I can make most people in my life think I'm this sweet, nice, moralistic girl, and in my brain it feels like the complete opposite.
 

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The need for external validation can be linked to people with many different cognitive functions due to the many different reasons. I wouldn't intrinsically link it to Fi or Fe. It has more to do with enneagram, I would argue.

The need for external social validation in the sense that you describe it (social value attributed to being valued by others) is at the core of Enneagram type 2. Under stress, enneagram type 4's often pick up this trait of craving validation from others to satiate their increasing self-esteem issues and the guilt underlying a lack of identity.

I am an INFP 4w3.

Before highschool, I thought and thought about crafting a new identity. I thought that everyone would like me if I was an ESFJ enneagram 2-- I didn't know the name of it at the time, but I knew exactly the "essence" of what I wanted to be-- and I figured that if I acted like one, I would become my mask. And people sort of believed I was one. People thought that I was a gentle, sweet, confident girl, and I did everything in my power to make them not know anything different.

But inside, I craved to be loved for who I was, and part of me knew that I wasn't this mask I wore.

5 years later and all I have to say is that it was a futile effort that caused me much more harm than gain. You can't change who you are. You need to learn who you are, embrace it and become the best you you can be. But as long as you play the role of someone else, you won't ever really be able to love yourself which is the most important thing at the end of the day.

Edit:
@Westy365 hit the nail on the head (is that the phrase? I wanted to say hit the nail on the nose, but that makes even less sense.) I neglected and tried to supress the development of my primarily function during a pivitol period of my life and I suffered for it. Now that I am once again doing my best to engage my Fi and find outlets and mediums that make me happy, things are going better, but it is still very rough.
 

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You will not be healthy unless you can develop your dominant function. It is possible to fight your dominant function, but it is extremely unhealthy and will put you under extreme emotional distress. You'll never be truly happy unless you can be yourself (so accept who you are and don't try to be something you aren't).
 

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Discussion Starter #18
You will not be healthy unless you can develop your dominant function. It is possible to fight your dominant function, but it is extremely unhealthy and will put you under extreme emotional distress. You'll never be truly happy unless you can be yourself (so accept who you are and don't try to be something you aren't).
I've developed it pretty well actually. Well...not in the healthy way. At all. I can be very manipulative to other people, and I choose my targets wisely a lot of times. I recognize when someone is as messed up as me and insecure, and I can take advantage of it. Trust me, my Fe can be very effective in many ways. Make myself seem innocent and soft, and once I sense someone's weakness (especially when they relax around me more), if they do something to piss me off or I begin to feel taken advantage of, I can strike back.
The other part is that it increased my social anxiety when I'm with people who don't come off as insecure/are more confident. I read every little detail in their movements and can assume that they don't want to talk to me, that they look down on me, etc. It's worse online because that makes folks even more difficult to read, but I've developed sort of rules of thumbs when trying to figure out if I'm losing the fight- i want to talk to them more than the other way around. So i back off pretty quickly.

@Birbsofafeather

If you initially thought you were an ESFJ...how did you realize you are an INFP? Someone told me they believe I'm an ESFJ and Ne tert, so how did you realize your Ne is "strong" enough to be in the auxiliary position? I kept getting INFP originally actually, but somehow it didn't make sense, and I honestly doubt my ability to think creatively lol. Plus I probably talk more straightforward and boring like a sensor than all cool and insightful (then again, that could be because i spend more time in my head than reading?? but maybe Ne types are naturally "abstract" thinkers. idk man)
 

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I've developed it pretty well actually. Well...not in the healthy way. At all. I can be very manipulative to other people, and I choose my targets wisely a lot of times. I recognize when someone is as messed up as me and insecure, and I can take advantage of it. Trust me, my Fe can be very effective in many ways. Make myself seem innocent and soft, and once I sense someone's weakness (especially when they relax around me more), if they do something to piss me off or I begin to feel taken advantage of, I can strike back.
The other part is that it increased my social anxiety when I'm with people who don't come off as insecure/are more confident. I read every little detail in their movements and can assume that they don't want to talk to me, that they look down on me, etc. It's worse online because that makes folks even more difficult to read, but I've developed sort of rules of thumbs when trying to figure out if I'm losing the fight- i want to talk to them more than the other way around. So i back off pretty quickly.
Yeah, you should seriously get some counseling. That's not healthy. And to be happy, you need to develop and use your dominant function in a healthy way. Using people will not yield security—you'll stay insecure, and it will scare others off sooner or later.

Be confident in yourself. I'm glad that you recognize that you're unhealthy/you have a problem. That's the first step.

Please see a therapist and work through your emotional struggles—you'll be glad that you did.
 

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No, the dominant function wouldn't be a choice, it would be what you consciously make choices with.
 
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