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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Lately, any time an ENTJ is being nice to me, my first reaction is always "Ok, what does he/she want?" It's not necessarily that ENTJs are mean. It's just that like most NTs they don't seem to place a lot of effort into just being polite to people. And they also seem to be the NTs most willing to do things they don't like to influence people. Am I just being overly suspicious, or is there reason to be suspicious of an ENTJ that's currently being nice?
 

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Is it reasonable to be suspicious of a nice ENTJ?
In the domain of friends, acquaintances, and coworkers, the long answer is: No. What you see is what you get.

Don't apply this generally, since romance is completely different-- otherwise you'll look stupid. If a woman is being nice to you, she probably doesn't like you in a romantic way (let's just be friends!), while if she's giving you shit, she probably does. And this transcends personality type.
 

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Lately, any time an ENTJ is being nice to me, my first reaction is always "Ok, what does he/she want?" It's not necessarily that ENTJs are mean. It's just that like most NTs they don't seem to place a lot of effort into just being polite to people. And they also seem to be the NTs most willing to do things they don't like to influence people. Am I just being overly suspicious, or is there reason to be suspicious of an ENTJ that's currently being nice?
In my opinion, you are being overly suspicious. Read the ENTJ thread concerning them being domineering, most ENTJs have said that this stereotype is incorrect, and it also places emphasis that perhaps compared to other types, ENTJs might be more prone to being blunt and honest, perhaps making them seem initially "mean" when its not, its simply stating an opinion or being constructively critical.


If you have an ENTJ being nice to you, they probably genuinely like you. I dont think an ENTJ would befriend someone to manipulate them. That seems more conducive of other types.

Not to mention it seems time wasting to me. Why should I befriend someone for the sole purpose of trying to "get what I want"?
 

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Putting on an act per se, requires too much time and effort. We dont have the time or energy to waste on that. So with us its what you see is the real thing
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think maybe this is what I'm getting at: http://personalitycafe.com/nts-temperament-forum-intellects/16056-nts-team.html#post311547

They want to learn what their teammates know and often see relationships as yet another project to be coordinated to achieve a positive and productive purpose. They enjoy interactions that are going to make them smarter and push them to achieve more.
To me it seems as though ENTJs always have a purpose in building a relationship, but perhaps I'm wrong to assume that they would hide that purpose. Personally, I see having a common goal as the basis of a relationship as a good thing, so it's good for ENTJs to act this way.
 

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I think maybe this is what I'm getting at: http://personalitycafe.com/nts-temperament-forum-intellects/16056-nts-team.html#post311547



To me it seems as though ENTJs always have a purpose in building a relationship, but perhaps I'm wrong to assume that they would hide that purpose. Personally, I see having a common goal as the basis of a relationship as a good thing, so it's good for ENTJs to act this way.
At least for myself, I don't necessarily always see a purpose behind my friendships, I think Dear Sigmund put it best when she said with us what you see is what you get.

Another sentence from the NTs on a Team thread:
"They tend to be straightforward and honest in relationships...They are usually not very self-disclosing until they trust someone and judge them to be friendly and credible—then they will open up quickly and matter-of-factly."
Perhaps what you're referring to has more to do with this aspect.
 

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IRL I am very social and I love people. You forget I am very Extroverted. I honestly wanted to treat people the way I want to be treated. If I think I am in the company of another NT I give them special attention because you know what. We relate In copious levels, and I know I am in good company.
 
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In school I was voted "Friendliest Person". Go figure. It isn't impossible for an ENTJ to be nice/polite.

I think people sometimes forget we're human too.

And to support Troisi, ENTJs can get a "friendship badge" Yea it was me.
So much for the ulterior motive/ robot stereotype.
 

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err... I've actually trained myself to be extremely nice to people... but even if there is a pretence (people like nice people... nice people are helped by others more... etc) Doesn't mean I have anything specific (for now) that I want from you.

Will you be my friend?

The ENTJs I know are pretty nice in general.
 

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No there is no reason to be suspicious of ENTJs over any other type. If anything, you should probably be less suspicious of an ENTJ because they are very direct. I think in general it would pain the average ENTJ to pretend to like someone they do not like.
 

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To me it seems as though ENTJs always have a purpose in building a relationship
Who doesn't have a purpose in building a relationship? May be not conscious one but rather a subconscious, may be not a rational one but one you will struggle to rationalize, but there is always some motivation behind people's actions.The person himself or herself is not always aware of what drives their actions. This does not mean that their purpose must be evil and selfish.

I would agree that ENTJs would make very poor actors in trying to consciously manipulate someone. They win over by being bullheaded, persistent, energetic, social, competitive, argumentative, and assuming leadership responsibilities to demonstrate to others that they are capable. Their strategy to winning is very direct and not accomplished by being behind the scenes puppet master.

If an ENTJ is being nice to you I would assume that he/she thinks that you are a rational, useful, interesting individual.
 
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