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MOTM Feb 2011
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I don't know if this is typical for ENFJs or not. But I have 2 distinct sides to me. Part of me loves socialising and going to parties, feeding off the hype.etc, then there is the other half. The half that relishes time alone to do my own thing, whatever that may be. And if someone eats into that time I had set aside for solitude I get irritated a little. I am so happy when I am off for a run and it's just me and the road, or if I go to a daytime movie alone, or read something, or surf the net. Not all the time of course, because I would miss social interaction.

Is this normal for ENFJ's or is it just me?
 

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Me too! I love doing things on my own - having travel adventures, running, hunkering down in my apartment seem to be a common theme.

I used to be fairly convinced I was an introvert, but I definitely need social interaction to keep me out of my own head and happy.
 

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Yes, I appreciate my down time and when I have those moments when I prefer peace & quiet, I don't like being bothered. I call these moments "Enjoying my tranquility pool" and when someone disturbs it, they have thrown a "stone" into my pool. Achieving Zen is essential to my mind. :mellow:
 
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MOTM Feb 2011
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Discussion Starter #5
Interesting, the way people talk I thought all of you other ENFJs were constant socialites, and that I was some strange exception. It's nice to know that there are other creatures with the same habits as me. :wink:
 

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I don't know if this is typical for ENFJs or not. But I have 2 distinct sides to me. Part of me loves socialising and going to parties, feeding off the hype.etc, then there is the other half. The half that relishes time alone to do my own thing, whatever that may be. And if someone eats into that time I had set aside for solitude I get irritated a little. I am so happy when I am off for a run and it's just me and the road, or if I go to a daytime movie alone, or read something, or surf the net. Not all the time of course, because I would miss social interaction.

Is this normal for ENFJ's or is it just me?

Oh my GOD YES. I am the same way. People think I'm weird sometimes because I actually enjoy going to the movies alone sometimes, or I'll drop off the face of the earth, and because I love to cuddle up with agood book and not answer my phone all the time. I call this the "recharge" time. We're usually out there trying our hardest to make the world a better place so I think its only natural that we need to hibernate occasionally to get our heads on right again :) Its good for your health dear. trust me on that one! <3

Kymlee
 

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Oh my GOD YES. I am the same way. People think I'm weird sometimes because I actually enjoy going to the movies alone sometimes, or I'll drop off the face of the earth, and because I love to cuddle up with agood book and not answer my phone all the time. I call this the "recharge" time. We're usually out there trying our hardest to make the world a better place so I think its only natural that we need to hibernate occasionally to get our heads on right again :) Its good for your health dear. trust me on that one! <3

Kymlee
I couldn't agree with you more. Down time is necessary and vital to recharge one's batteries otherwise I find that I may get crankier and unable to fully function on all engines. I can't imagine myself being on the go all the time and sometimes those roses smell so good, I just have to stop and smell. :mellow:
 
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MOTM Feb 2011
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Discussion Starter #8
Oh my GOD YES. I am the same way. People think I'm weird sometimes because I actually enjoy going to the movies alone sometimes, or I'll drop off the face of the earth, and because I love to cuddle up with a good book and not answer my phone all the time. I call this the "recharge" time. We're usually out there trying our hardest to make the world a better place so I think its only natural that we need to hibernate occasionally to get our heads on right again :) Its good for your health dear. trust me on that one! <3

Kymlee
I think we were separated at birth lol..

My E friends just don't get that I have that side of me which wants to be alone sometimes. They think I am weird.

And I have developed a real aversion to answering the phone in the last year or so. I will often screen it to see if I have to answer or if I can get away with not answering. I prefer texts, because they are straight to the point. Also I prefer face to face compared to hour long phone calls :frustrating:
 
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I really appreciate solitude. I really like to think about the lots of experiences and social situations I live during the days. I make conclusions, deductions about the people I am surrounded and I also evaluate my attitudes, achievements and flaws as well as others'. It's necessary for me to do this because I decide how can I improve myself in social and team work situations.

However, when I most need to be alone is when I'm studying. I get distracted quite easily, so I prefer to concentrate 100% to the job I've got to do. I have also become a very stressed person, I get really annoyed when people come to disturb me when I'm studying. I really like to be alone when I'm sad, particularly when I'm crying. I like to figure my sadness alone, or with my parents.
 

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oh, and here i sometimes thought i had to re-think my being typed as an enfj, because i am not at all that social a being, in general! i mean, i just LOVE interacting with strangers, when i'm in the mood, but to get to that, or to keep it up, i need quite a lot of time alone.
and sometimes i can just feel like i don't want to see my friends at all, because, well, i feel like i just don't have enough of energy to tend to everything i might think of that they might need. and, because the tests often ask the question "where do you get your energy from?", i get all confused, because, sometimes i just need to recharge on my own, which appears to be an introverted thing, even though being with people can feel so good, too.
ahh,now i just guess that it's just one of those cool enfj things again - we are a mixture of extroverted and introverted, in this particular aspect. ^^
makes me feel all the more harmonious, in the end.
 

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MOTM Feb 2011
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Discussion Starter #11
oh, and here i sometimes thought i had to re-think my being typed as an enfj, because i am not at all that social a being, in general! i mean, i just LOVE interacting with strangers, when i'm in the mood, but to get to that, or to keep it up, i need quite a lot of time alone.
and sometimes i can just feel like i don't want to see my friends at all, because, well, i feel like i just don't have enough of energy to tend to everything i might think of that they might need. and, because the tests often ask the question "where do you get your energy from?", i get all confused, because, sometimes i just need to recharge on my own, which appears to be an introverted thing, even though being with people can feel so good, too.
ahh,now i just guess that it's just one of those cool enfj things again - we are a mixture of extroverted and introverted, in this particular aspect. ^^
makes me feel all the more harmonious, in the end.
When I first read about ENFJs I thought "but I am not 100% like that".:unsure: It seems that I'm not the only one. It said about being givers and also making great teachers. I so wouldn't want to be a teacher in the literal sense. Although I could be a more informal teacher, something creative, and one-on-one. ...and giving... well I am good at it, but not 24/7. "The givers" title makes us sound angelic almost which we aren't, well I'm not.
 

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Yes, I definitly need my alone time. Sometimes I will feel overloaded with work and obligations. It gets especially stresseful when others will make demands of me or ask me for help on top of this (and being an ENFJ I have a horrible time saying no to anything and people seem to know this and either count on me or take advantage of this trait on occasion). Then I really want to flee and recharge.
 

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I think we were separated at birth lol..

My E friends just don't get that I have that side of me which wants to be alone sometimes. They think I am weird.

And I have developed a real aversion to answering the phone in the last year or so. I will often screen it to see if I have to answer or if I can get away with not answering. I prefer texts, because they are straight to the point. Also I prefer face to face compared to hour long phone calls :frustrating:
Wow, that is exactly how I feel. I guess this personality type stuff is true. lol
 

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I know I am like this! If I am around people for too long, I just shut down and get stressed and crabby. I need to reboot, and that includes going online, sitting on my couch watching tv, and not answering my phone.


I think that's normal for most people though. I mean, I would think *very* few people can socialize 24/7.
 
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