[ElephantinePigiferous]

i've been thinking about this for sometime, "what is their to learn from life?" and even though i definitely haven't found the answer to it...i have come across something to waste my time and ponder over.
we are constantly running away from the negativities in our lives. we feel lonely which is why we are always searching for love. we need shelter and food,so we get a job to pay for them(the basic necessities).if you say you work not for the sake of earning a living but because your job just makes you happy;then again, it is a mean for you to avoid sadness.
we avoid people who annoy us.we take time outs when we feel drained and stressed.i could go on and on and there is no end to it...

we are all just trying to escape!is life just about avoiding problems and being happy? is it all about running away from everything that gets us down?
or
is it about taking what you have and working with it?

so what im trying to say is...is life about escapism or is it about acceptance?

if you say acceptance,then here is another question for you...
if we start accepting the negativities in our lives ,wont we turn out completely unproductive? i mean if we all start accepting our "fates",we wont have any motive to make things better,because we wont even know the definition of better...

this is all just really confusing

 

[Alyosha]

When you take time off work, you're not escaping from life, you're just choosing one part of life over another. The trick I believe is to know why you choose something over anything else, you do after all make choices all the time, and then to start making concious choices about your life. Then nothing will ever feel completely empty. It's done for something you believe in, that won't ever fail you. But you by no means have to do this. Life isn't about escapism or acceptance, life is about living, and sure living can be pretty hard or not very cool, and sometimes you'll avoid parts of it that you specifically don't like, and you might feel bad in a different way then because you avoided it, and I don't even think that I've ever been happy ... But looking back at things I've lived, it's still nice to think back to them. A year ago I probably didn't feel any better than I do now, but when I think back to it, somehow it makes me slightly happy still. So I choose to believe that my memories are telling the truth. That even if it's always difficult to tell at the time, life is really beautiful, whatever happens, and that it is for some unknown, mysterious reason very important that we do live it with all our heart. And I don't think that's something we can help anyway. We're all, whatever we are doing, living our lives with all our hearts. I think.

 

[Vin The Dreamer]

Just to complement Alyosha, a choice per say is a movement away from one thing and towards another. So maybe a job you like really is avoiding sadness, but it's also moving towards happiness. Just a matter of perspective.

Though with that said, life really is mostly about movement. We are energy, the universe is energy, and energy is constantly in movement. Even the world itself moves frenetically. When we ever "stop" (although our body never stops completely), it's just resting so we can continue moving or it's just plain boredom.

But yeah, this is just philosophy and I'm not being practical. :tongue:

 

[perfectcircle]

If there is an absence in your life that causes pain, you feel joy upon having it fulfilled. So to me this does not feel like running away but running towards.

 

[yello]

If there is an absence in your life that causes pain, you feel joy upon having it fulfilled. So to me this does not feel like running away but running towards.

Well you would be running away and running towards at the same time.

 

[Knight_In_Rags]

@ElephantinePigiferous Life is all about escapism. And also acceptance. You learn to accept and cope with the negativities that you don't have any power over. The religion that will give you the answer is Buddhism. According to Buddhism, we're trying to escape the cycle of birth and death and the negativities of life. Why? Because being happy comes from the absence of suffering.

 

[ElephantinePigiferous]

Just to complement Alyosha, a choice per say is a movement away from one thing and towards another. So maybe a job you like really is avoiding sadness, but it's also moving towards happiness. Just a matter of perspective.

yes but which comes first?you wont really be looking for a new job if you liked your current one in the first place. so the sadness comes first,then you struggle towards happiness. same as to say,sadness is the motivator. thus ,we are trying to escape from sadness.

 

[ElephantinePigiferous]

@ElephantinePigiferous Life is all about escapism. And also acceptance. You learn to accept and cope with the negativities that you don't have any power over. The religion that will give you the answer is Buddhism. According to Buddhism, we're trying to escape the cycle of birth and death and the negativities of life. Why? Because being happy comes from the absence of suffering.

it makes sense from the religious point of view.

 

[Ode to Trees]

I sometimes tend to think, that we are placed on this planet to find out: who we are, what we do with our life (how we impact others, how we love not only our SO, but others as well), and how we fit in the great scheme of things. There is cruelty, beauty, and a choice. Choice is not always yours - can you choose to avoid a tornado to destroy your well-built home even if you took all precautions or a war when there is not escape? Escapism and acceptance are present, but they are not what should dominate one's life. If you accept everything, they you say "it is ok, everything good and bad could be accepted." Nothing could be changed - it is status quo thinking. Acceptance of some things = forgivenss could help you to work toward better world. How to accept everything that is happening on this planet? Is it fair to those that could be helped, but are not because other accepted their suffering? If you run all the time - you do not find a purpose; you do not live. There should be a middle way. Anyone, it is like an experiment in which subjects are given choice, but only to their human ability. There are stronger forces like nature on this planet. You can plan the best plans in this world, but life, cosmos, whatever it is, sometimes has a very different idea.

 

[basementbugs]

Thus far, my life has been about escaping -- to the extent that it's made me a very mentally unhealthy person for many years now. I'm currently working on some of the acceptance part of things with my therapist -- though there's more to it than just accepting. Beyond accepting, there's taking control of your life and moving forward with it, which (at least in theory) should lead one to feel like they're doing more than simply accepting. Acceptance should be empowering, not lead a person to feel like, "Oh well, I can't do anything about this, so why bother even trying..."

That said, there are things that we do have to just accept in life. Likewise, escaping isn't always bad -- it can lead you to finding out what it is you truly desire. I think a healthy way to live one's life probably combines the two.

 

[refugee]

Cue that Flock of Seagulls song...

 

[rubystone]

this is my point of view with regards to the OP

for me, it's about acceptance. that is, at this point in my life. but acceptance doesn't just mean accepting the negativities in our life and do nothing about it. it's about accepting it as a challenge in our lives that we have to deal with. it is acknowledging those things without succumbing to them and using those experiences as tools/instruments to help us become better us. actually, those negative things in our lives are the things that actually keeps us moving to make things better. I don't know if you get what I mean, but simply put, those negativities in our lives are usually the one that drives us to become better persons and strive hard to learn from those things. Acceptance isn't merely being stagnant. It's about growth.

 

[iinnffpp]

What a timely and interesting topic. It's something I've thought about for a while.

I would have to say that life is not about escaping. It's about confronting problems that need to be dealt with. Escaping is not the same as letting go. Escaping means that you run away from problems that absolutely can be and MUST be solved. Letting go means that you've tried your utmost best, but the problem source (usually a person) will not budge, so you move on with your life instead of letting that problem drag you down. Of course there is some blurring between escaping and letting go, but you understand here.

As for general negativities (like partying on the weekends after working a nutty job with a nutty boss; negative people, etc)... I believe that people are actually trying to find a balance when they "escape" from these bad things. It's a neutralization process. This is certainly preferable to stewing in extreme negativity and making yourself more miserable. But being delusionally positive is equally bad.

 

[refugee]

I beg to differ.

Life is not about escape, entirely.

What I mean is, there will be times when you retreat into your cave, but I can't imagine a lifetime of escape amounts to any good.

Owning your problems can be one of the most profound/powerful things in your life.

 

[Vin The Dreamer]

yes but which comes first?you wont really be looking for a new job if you liked your current one in the first place. so the sadness comes first,then you struggle towards happiness. same as to say,sadness is the motivator. thus ,we are trying to escape from sadness.

Well, you could leave the current job you like for one that would make you more happy, or more self-actualized. In that case avoiding sadness wouldn't be the thing that comes to mind, but rather moving to higher levels of happiness. But in general I think they would just be two sides of the same coin, that the desire to avoid sadness and achieve happiness would come together. You can't really say that one side comes first (well, some people might say heads, but it's just the more popular side ).

But maybe the way we experience it also depends on how you look at the coin. Like, someone who focuses only on not being sad wouldn't be as happy as someone who focuses on finding what really makes them happy. I suppose avoiding sadness in itself could be enough of a motivator to people if they focus their attention on that and not on their own growth or fulfillment.So, it's like "Are you just being reactive (just avoiding sadness) or are you being proactive (just focusing on being more happy or fulfilled) or just somewhere in the middle? To which side do you pay more attention, if you do?"

But yes, there is a whole other dimension to this question, acceptance, that @rubystone and other users have talked about. I mentioned her because her post relates the most to me, but the others have given good advice too. ^^

 

[cloudcompeller]

I've also once questioned myself - 'Why am I living in this world? No matter how hard I work or what a good heart I have, I still can't change the world!?'

To be honest, I don't really have an answer yet but what I'm sure is that finding self-worthiness is very important. You know that you live here because there's something you want to do; I guess everyone should have their own dreams that want to live up to. Though realistically, the chance of you having your dreams come true is neligible, if not impossible; and logically, having a dream doesn't solve any problems either. But, as an INFP and an idealist, that is my driving force! I still want to live in the world because I have my dreams! There's so much good in this world and why just focus on the bad side!

Whether to escape or accept is a huge problem. I would say escaping is not entirely right but compromising is not entirely wrong! It depends on the situation. For me, I choose to escape from people that I don't want to be with because I feel uncomfortable; on the other hand, I try to be with people that I don't want to be with because there might be some good in them and it takes time to learn a person from in and out. I only stop accepting the 'mess' in this world only after my heart cannot bear any further. And at this time, you'll find your biggest enemy in your personality. But for a lot of 'undesirable' traits in INFPs, it might quite often be small problems that stop us from doing something that is good for us or can make us happy. Shyness is a good example.

All in all, I won't say I must accept or neglect something. And remember no one is perfect; even extroverts have their own problems! Instead think in another way - find the real gem in your heart. Polish it and makes it shine. And, for me, there's always love :happy:

 

[infpblog]

i've been thinking about this for sometime, "what is their to learn from life?" and even though i definitely haven't found the answer to it...i have come across something to waste my time and ponder over.
we are constantly running away from the negativities in our lives. we feel lonely which is why we are always searching for love. we need shelter and food,so we get a job to pay for them(the basic necessities).if you say you work not for the sake of earning a living but because your job just makes you happy;then again, it is a mean for you to avoid sadness.
we avoid people who annoy us.we take time outs when we feel drained and stressed.i could go on and on and there is no end to it...

we are all just trying to escape!is life just about avoiding problems and being happy? is it all about running away from everything that gets us down?
or
is it about taking what you have and working with it?

so what im trying to say is...is life about escapism or is it about acceptance?

if you say acceptance,then here is another question for you...
if we start accepting the negativities in our lives ,wont we turn out completely unproductive? i mean if we all start accepting our "fates",we wont have any motive to make things better,because we wont even know the definition of better...

this is all just really confusing

Life isn't about avoiding problems because there will always be problems. It's the human condition.

Progress in life is going from one set of problems to a better set of problems.

We feel lonely so we make a friend. Now the problem is how do we connect with this new friends. This is a better problem than having no friend.

We want to eat so we get a job. Now that we're eating regularly, we want to be able to eat doing something that we find meaning. The problem is now, figuring out what activities you find meaningful and get paid for it. That's a better problem than I'm hungry and I have to figure out how I can eat in the next 3 days before I die.

Life is about whatever you decide is meaningful to you. It can be about escapisms of that what gives you meaning to your life. And for some people it is, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Also life is full of pain. Bad shit happens. You're girlfriend dumps you. You get hit by a bus and become a quadriplegic. Often, pain is random and unavoidable. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. That's why some quadriplegic become alcoholics and others start playing Murderball (wheelchair rugby).

 

[Ntuitive]

A large part of life is to escape in whatever it is you do. I think living in the moment is an escape from living in your head at least.

 

[Bago]

Just to complement Alyosha, a choice per say is a movement away from one thing and towards another. So maybe a job you like really is avoiding sadness, but it's also moving towards happiness. Just a matter of perspective.

Though with that said, life really is mostly about movement. We are energy, the universe is energy, and energy is constantly in movement. Even the world itself moves frenetically. When we ever "stop" (although our body never stops completely), it's just resting so we can continue moving or it's just plain boredom.

But yeah, this is just philosophy and I'm not being practical. :tongue:

Thank you ! Your explaination just made me remember something....

 

[Vin The Dreamer]

Thank you ! Your explaination just made me remember something....

No prob! It feels good to help out VIP Members roud: