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Is my boyfriend an ISFP, or something else?

2396 Views 7 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  februarystars
First off: I know for an absolute fact his feeling is Fi and his sensing is Se. There's no debating over that. That boils it down to ISFP, ESFP, ENTJ, or INTJ. Of course since they all have the same exact functions, just in a different order, the descriptions all somewhat sound like him. I personally think ISFP is the type that is closest to him, and ENTJ and INTJ are probably the least likely types, but you can be the judge. I'll give as much information about his personality as possible.

About him:
He loves to wear bright colored clothing and he loves upbeat music. He actually listens to music constantly. He really can't last long without having his senses stimulated. He told me one of his biggest pet peeves actually is music that isn't catchy or anything. It's like torture to him. He played soccer in highschool and he was very good at it. He skateboards a lot. He has a high pain tolerance. He doesn't really have any motivation to eat healthy; he practically lives off candy and soda. He can't meditate at all. (These sound ultra Se to me)

He is not in your face, and he does not have a strong personality. He isn't hyper at all. He actually has a very calm personality, and soft spoken way of talking. In fact he can barely even yell at all, it just ends up sounding funny when he tries. His voice is relaxing. He isn't shy though; he is very personable and great at conversation, and he can talk your ear off. He can get along with and make friends with anyone. He is also always very optimistic, always joking and having fun, never pessimistic.

Now when it comes to his sensitivity, his compassion, etc, that's where it gets tricky. I'm his girlfriend, so maybe the way I see his sensitive side is biased, considering I'm special to him. But he's very sweet and sensitive with me. He's very attentive to my emotions and quick to apologize if he upsets me. He picks up on my feelings really fast, and I'm good at hiding my feelings, so that says a lot. He isn't oblivious to people's emotions; he sometimes says things that could be taken wrong, but he realizes what he said immediately, and corrects himself and makes sure I'm not offended. I can't help but feel that's natural to him, considering the last guy I've dated wasn't like that at all. He would say something offensive, then genuinely not understand why it made me upset. My boyfriend is nothing like this. But of course, this could very well be a nature vs nurture thing.

He told me a lot about his childhood and he was a pretty crazy kid. He borderline abused his pets, but not really on purpose or to hurt them. He just didn't really understand it was bad to do that. He would do dangerous risky things that could hurt him. He was kind of a little elementary school bully at times. All the kids thought he was cool though and would copy weird things that he did. He always made kids laugh. He wasn't a loud kid or obnoxious or hyper, he had that same calm way of going about things as he does now, he was just very curious about things and oblivious to other beings' feelings. He wasn't disrespectful to teachers either, he was a teacher's pet, all his teachers loved him.

He loves animals though, especially birds and bugs. He couldn't hurt a fly now (yeah, literally.) I'm not sure if he can't kill bugs because he likes them so much, because he genuinely feels empathetic for them, or because to not kill bugs is a moral of his he decided to keep for whatever reason.

He has a great sense of humor that he actually prides himself on. He makes me laugh so much, and he told me that one of the best compliments someone can give him is telling him he's funny. What I love about his humor is he doesn't make overly offensive jokes. He's VERY sensitive about and respectful towards topics like death, molestation, etc. He's even corrected me when I said something a little too offensive. (This sounds ultra Fi to me)

He likes to write horror/violent (...and sexual) stories, and he's very good at them. He's written short stories for me.

He's extremely competitive, which is fun. I'm not as competitive as he is, but it's fun to be stubborn just to goad his cute stubborn competitive side out. He obviously knows this, considering one of the ways he figures out if I'm upset or not is if he teases me, and I don't play back. Smart bastard lol. :tongue:

He loooves cars. He loves video games too, but not the nerdy RP type of game. He doesn't like FPS either. He likes things like Need for Speed, GTA, Saints Row, Mafia.

He dropped out of college a while ago because he was in a bad state of mind and school was too much of a pain for him, but he's decided that he's going back soon. He doesn't really know what he wants to do though.

He procrastinates. His room is messy, but he knows where everything is. He's definitely not idealistic, as he knows how to actually implement things to get them done, rather than just daydream about them. As an INFP I am sooo jealous of that. He can be lazy though.

I don't think he's good with logic. He used to be into all of the silly conspiracies which put him in a bad place. He got over them but he can still be pretty gullible at times when it comes to that stuff.

He loves history. I don't think he's ever told me what his worst subject in school was, but I know he also enjoyed science once it got more hands on, rather than just book learning.

He's definitely not verbally affectionate. Now I'm not verbally affectionate either, but it's hard considering we're a Long-Distance couple. Verbal affection has to be the default since we're not physically together. He has his moments though and they just make me melt. They always seem forced to make me happy though, not natural moments.

When I ask him things like "Do you like it when people do this?" "Do people like that bother you?" "Does so-and-so annoy you?" instead of saying yes or no, he always does that "Well here's the thing..." thing and then goes on talking about all the negatives about it, or if it's something he likes he'll just go on talking about the positives. Then I'm like " that's a yes?" and he's like "Uh.. yeah." kind of annoying LOL I don't know what it is that makes him do that, but yeah. I'm not sure if he's trying to be as polite as possible about annoying things, if he's thinking through them out loud, or if he just wants to hear himself talk.

When he's trying to comfort someone, he gives them practical, optimistic advice rather than coddle their feelings. He can be pretty blunt with people he doesn't care too much about.

He really does live by "Don't get mad, get even." Seriously. It's practically his life motto.

He doesn't like children, at all, he thinks they're loud and stupid and annoying, as do I, but he's apparently really good with them.

He loves "Would you rather..." and "What would you do if..." questions. He loves "truth or dare" too. I don't know if that means anything at all but I think they might stimulate his iNtuition?

It's a thing for him to always keep his promise and not go back on it, and feels so terrible whenever he isn't able to keep it. (This sounds ultra Fi too)

His face is that type of expressionless, almost appearing to be constantly annoyed or bored, type of face. (Super Fi also)

When we were getting to know eachother, I made all the romantic first moves. I told him I liked him first, I asked him to be my boyfriend, I was the first to say I love you. (It took a lot out of me to do that stuff, he's so slow lol)

He's a good listener, but he interrupts me a lot when I talk. He doesn't mean to though. After a while it starts getting to me and he feels bad about it.

He has a bad relationship with his mother, and the rest of his family, except for his cousins.

I'm thinking ISFP, but I needed more opinions. Sorry this is so long, I wanted to be thorough.
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I believe he closes himself off and spends time alone to avoid the situation until he can collect his thoughts and calm himself down.
When he's really stressed, does he ever get super critical, even mean-sounding and loud or unload? Or does he always introvert?

If he introverts, then he's probably ESFP.
I think he just introverts.
Post this in INTJ section....
Why's that?
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