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Discussion Starter #1
Hello! I figured no better place to figure out an ENTP than by asking his fellow personality types. :)


I will not make this long, just throw out a few things he has done that have made me wonder...

- About a month ago he asked what I was doing that upcoming Saturday night and asked if I wanted to see a movie. It was just us but he didn't pay and we quickly parted after the movie.

- Later on that night he wrote me on facebook to say thanks for joining him and that he had a good time. He then let me know about a group activity the following Friday and invited me to it.

- He initiates facebook chat conversations with me pretty much every time we're both online. This is usually about 4-5 times a week.

- I had a flat tire about 2 weeks ago and texted him to see if he could help and as soon as he woke up, he immediately came over, skipped eating even though he was hungry and helped me take care of it.

- He left his car jack at my house so the following Monday I went to a coffee shop where he hangs out a lot to give it back to him and he invited me to join him and talk for a bit. When we both became hungry for dinner, he mentioned that he wanted chinese and then proceeded to invite me to come with him and we ended up talking about 3 more hours there.

- He invited me to a fiction reading club last Friday and picked me up straight from work to take me there, which was about a 45 min. drive there and back.


So, at this point, I assume he's not repulsed by me by any means. I've heard how ENTP's can be selective with their friends and I can only assume I've made the cut. I'm just wondering if it's possible that he's interested in me as more than friends.

What do you all think? :)

Thanks!
 

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Seems very likely with all that he invites you to, though he could just see you as a very close friend. Does he flirt with you at all/is he touchy-feely? The best thing to do would be to just tell him/ask him out on your own, we ENTPs appreciate bluntness.
Still, seems likely that he does, so best of luck. :proud:
 

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Lol. He wants you, badly. But he doesnt have the balls to make a move, give him some strong signals and he will go for it.
 

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He's probably into you, sounds very obvious. If you like him as well, you should give him some signs, start subtle, if he doesn't get it go more direct, but is probably best to wait for him to make a move.

If you don't want to be more than friends, don't feed his feelings, but don't disappear from his life.

By the tone of your post I guess you like him too, so go for it!:proud:
 

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He's probably into you, sounds very obvious. If you like him as well, you should give him some signs, start subtle, if he doesn't get it go more direct, but is probably best to wait for him to make a move.

If you don't want to be more than friends, don't feed his feelings, but don't disappear from his life.

By the tone of your post I guess you like him too, so go for it!:proud:
You have some good points about whether she reciprocates the feelings or not, but in life they male is the leader and he should make the first move. In my experience a girl will lose respect for a guy after a while if he doesnt make the move
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks everyone! I appreciate your responses! I think the reason I haven't asked him straight out is because I'm enjoying the mystery of it to a certain extent. This stage of a friendship is the most exciting part in my opinion, where you're deepening the relationship and feeling each other out for signals of a possible romantic future.

To answer NoxiousRogue, He's not touchy feely so there's no signals in that area. Though he did offer the other night to hold my hand if I decide to check out a nearby haunted house that I'm afraid of going to. I think the reason I've doubted his feelings at all is because of how quickly he parts from me when we're done hanging out. It's in a very "you're just my friend" sort of way, or at least that is how I see it. And granted, maybe that's all he wants right now, as he ponders the potential for more.

I'm pretty laidback so I think I'll just wait to see what happens. I'm still deciding as to what my true feelings are towards him, but as I do, I can't deny that I find him absolutely addicting and fascinating. I think I'm just worried about the whole Thinking/Feeling contrast and how I've heard it can be a bad mixture. My last boyfriend was an ESTJ and that was a nightmare. This guy is not like him at all, but he's definitely a thinker and I just wonder if that would cause conflict in a relationship down the road.

Thanks again for everyone's input. Feel free to keep commenting, I'd love to hear more of what you all think. :)
 

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It does sound like he likes you.

As for the quick departures, that might just be ENTP-ness. I'm not sure about other ENTP's, but I personally don't really do long goodbyes. They can sometimes be awkward, especially when you're with somebody you like but you aren't sure they like you back. Idk, for me it turns into overanalyzing the situation, wondering what else I should say, should I hug him, is he expecting me to say something, is he going to say something. etc etc. So a quick "see ya!" is much preferred unless we're already together and long goodbyes are long kisses. I'm sure I've confused more than one guy with the abrupt goodbyes after dates.

Generally the thinking/feeling contrast issues you hear about are from types that are imbalanced or immature. ESTJ's can be annoying sometimes even for an ENTP, I really only have one ESTJ friend and he drives me batshit insane sometimes. He's like a brother to me though, so yes I get pissed off at him, yes we argue like there's no tomorrow, but I still care about him. Its kinda like when people get dogs or cats that they hate and are so annoyed by, but they'll tear up at the thought of getting rid of it.

But no, an ENTP is a lot different from an ESTJ. And an ENTP with a well developed Fe can be quite sensitive and caring towards loved ones.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks WildWinds! That helps to understand the mindset of an ENTP when it comes to potential awkward situations. When I'm with feelers, I'm so used to forever long goodbyes (which actually drives me crazy) so I wasn't sure what to make of the quick "see ya's". That does make sense though, and as I hate awkwardness, I actually don't mind it. I have some feeler friends that would be offended or hurt at a quick goodbye, some have even called me back when I got off the phone supposedly too quick to ask if something was wrong. I'm from NYC, so I have an edge to me that a lot of feelers don't have. I also grew up with an ENTJ sister who I've learned to not be offended by.

I hear ya with the ESTJ thing, I wanted to strangle my ex-boyfriend many times. He would come out with the most random criticisms of me that it was draining on my nerves. I'm big into accepting the other person entirely and I felt his unneccessary criticisms were making the opposite effect. This ENTP guy is far more accepting of me and I can tell actually appreciates my personality, where my ESTJ boyfriend just thought I was weird.

This guy is definitely a mature ENTP and shows a caring nature when appropriate. I've known him 7 years now and he's always been that friend that when he asks how I am and I say good, he'll look me in the eyes and ask if I'm sure, if he can tell I'm hiding something. He was also very sweet, shortly after I broke up with my last boyfriend, and offered to come over to talk. We went for a walk and he let me vent it all out and he validated me on my frustrations. So yeah, he's a good guy. :)
 

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I'm getting more of a friend vibe from your description of the interactions you are having with him and now knowing that you've known him for 7 years seals it for me. When I fall in love with someone, they know it. I'm very forthcoming about my sexuality and my emotions. But if I'm just interested in hanging with the person I will go hang out with them or go get them to go do things or invite them to hang out and chit chat ,etc. It just means I really like hanging out with that person. You are not going to ruin the friendship if you are honest with him about what you are beginning to feel for him. As an ENTP he will treat it analytically as a natural male/female interaction issue and not belittle you or start treating you differently. I would imagine he would tell you how he feels about you at that moment and if he forsees anything that may develop beyond friendship. So I would suggest for you to be prepared for the 'you are just a friend' chit chat, so you will need to be in a place emotionally where you can accept that and not feel awkward yourself or treat him differently as a result.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Good points Dizzle, thanks! I am very open to the idea that he's just a nice guy that values my friendship, which I'm entirely fine with, because he is a friend worth having even if nothing more comes of it. :)

Though I've known him 7 years, we haven't been close friends the whole time. My college had brother/sister dorms and he was in my brother dorm my freshman year. He's also 4 years older than me, so we didn't really relate as good friends until I matured a bit and leveled out on being in similar stages of life.

I really go back and forth on him liking me or not. I would like to assume that he is at least attracted to me because I have heard from a guy friend that dudes don't generally hang out with girls that they are not to some degree attracted to. Can any guys confirm if that's true?

On the him not liking me note, he does joke around that I should help him find a girlfriend because I meet with college girls on a regular basis at my job. At this point, if he does like me, it's probably at a curious stage where he's acknowledged that he enjoys my company and is attracted to me, but doesn't feel the need to act on it. He has told me of how he had a good female friend that he eventually fell for and when she found out, she disappeared and it hurt him pretty badly. Perhaps he's scarred from that incident?

Ah, who knows... :)
 

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7 years? Seems like you're just a close friend. He's known you long enough to be comfortable around you and ask you to do things one on one without fear of it being misinterpreted. However, people's minds do change sometimes. It's kind of hard to point out small clues because the behavior he exhibits to you is something that's evolved over the years and has become comfortable with so I would look too much into small things here and there.

Instead, look at the big picture: Friends focus on something together. You're asked to go see a movie, both of you are focused on seeing the movie. Go chase some chickens, both of you are focused on chickens. Simple as that.

When its more than friends: You're focused on each other. You're asked to go see a movie, you can tell his attention isn't really on seeing the movie. Pay attention if what he does is really a means to get to you or just a friend to share an activity with.
 

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There are shy ENTPs too. We are not the same due to these letters. I myself, even if I am old and mature, behave really strange with someone I fancy. I turn 14 again inside. So in those cases I really can relate to the behavior described.

When I am not too interested I can be quite the charmer... It is strange.
 
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It sounds like he wants to be friends with you. ENTPs seem to be more aggressive in the start of relationships and then become more distant with time. I know when I like someone as more than a friend I will usually go to lengthly measures in the beginning. I genuinely want to be just friends with a lot of people and people usually take it the wrong way, so the short friend - like goodbyes, might be a way that he is getting the message across, that's something I would do. I don't like to hurt people's feelings directly if the are more vulnerable in the situation.
 

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It sounds like he wants to be friends with you. ENTPs seem to be more aggressive in the start of relationships and then become more distant with time. I know when I like someone as more than a friend I will usually go to lengthly measures in the beginning. I genuinely want to be just friends with a lot of people and people usually take it the wrong way, so the short friend - like goodbyes, might be a way that he is getting the message across, that's something I would do. I don't like to hurt people's feelings directly if the are more vulnerable in the situation.
Ditto. on that one.

There's also physical comfort. Relationships need some intimacy and ENTPs are no exception. When I like a girl, I will try to push that physical comfort zone ( a light touch, a hug, prolonged hug, lots of touching, etc). I'll always gauge if the girl is feeling comfortable or not. If a girl that I like tries to get more physical then there's no resistance from me but I also don't get over eager and jump ahead. I let it workout naturally unless I feel its going to slow. However, if a girl i'm not interested in tries to get physically close, I'm like a cat thrown into water. It's very obvious and you'll know right away.
 

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It sounds like he wants to be friends with you. ENTPs seem to be more aggressive in the start of relationships and then become more distant with time. I know when I like someone as more than a friend I will usually go to lengthly measures in the beginning. I genuinely want to be just friends with a lot of people and people usually take it the wrong way, so the short friend - like goodbyes, might be a way that he is getting the message across, that's something I would do. I don't like to hurt people's feelings directly if the are more vulnerable in the situation.
I'm like that, with a new relationship/prospect I get so into it and so excited for what could be, then things are great... and thenn I get bored :D
 

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The question is, Are you interested in him? If so, go for it. And make sure he knows you genuinely feel that way. I know me and a couple of my ENTP friends get to thinking to much when we like someone else. It's best to just come out and be straightforward with him. If he doesn't feel the same, he'll let you know. We're pretty much cool like that.
 
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I think the main thing to keep in mind is that all ENTP's are different, which is obvious by the number of different opinions you're getting here. What applies to one or several ENTP's doesn't apply to all. Despite all being ENTP's and sharing certain characteristics, you'll still see variances in behavior and personality due to having different experiences growing up, and different functions being more or less developed. Like, I'm the opposite of what some people have mentioned. I keep my distance for a long time and it takes me a while to warm up to somebody and for me to decide indefinitely that I like somebody, THEN I get really into it. I analyze it too much in the beginning. Ne can make one indecisive. If I treat somebody the way he treats you, then either I like them, or they've been a close friend for a long time. You've known each other for a long time, but if he just recently started acting like this with you, then that could be an indication. I have a guy ENTP friend and you can see differences in us because my Ti is more developed than his, but his Fe is more developed than mine.

You probably really could just ask him and he'll tell you.
 
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