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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I will try not to be too Si heavy in this and deeply explore her inner thought processes. I want to see if I typed her correctly:

  • She is a Je dom. She talks excessively to the point of being self-conscious about it, with ardent fear about interrupting too much. I've tried to explain her excessive talking is actually admirable amongst certain social circles, and yet she rejects my advice.
    [*]She is the ultimate advice giver. Even now she still gives me advice on what I should do and how I should act. She is constantly giving people advice and suggestions on how to do something or what to do, and becomes demonstrably frustrated when said advice is rejected.
    [*]Social appropriateness is of uttermost importance to her. Her standards for what is or what is not appropriate are seemingly unmovable. If I had friends over growing up she would constantly discuss how inappropriate I was behaving amongst them, even if I was monitoring myself based on how I believed others wanted me to behave. She doesn't seem motivated by the context or the feeling tones as much as she is by a rigid standard of how people should behave.
    [*]She's frightened of being rude or disrespectful. She does bend her behavior a bit (for instance, she won't swear unless you do, and she is the ultimate sailor mouth), and has described herself as a chameleon.
    [*]She often changes her tone of voice or what she says, and often uses fake compliments to woo people over or soothe them. That may seem to contradict what I said previously. She is moving on feeling tones, but she is still rather... systematic? She does what will please people, but there's some meticulous qualities behind her behavior. For instance I once had an ex-boyfriend's mother over.... I could tell by her non-verbal cues that what I was saying about her son was alright with her. When she left my mother ejaculated (love using that word) a diatribe against my behavior, telling me I was absolutely inappropriate for "bashing" her son. I explained my reasoning I mentioned earlier and she told me she was hiding her offense to be nice. This is what I mean. She responds in accordance to other's behaviors, but within a rigid formula.
    [*]If she is alone, isolation is her mortal enemy. She sinks into a meditative, vegetative state, unable to move from the couch. She could stay in her apartment for weeks, and will cry woes of misery about how isolated she is.
    [*]She is easily agitated. Very very low frustration tolerance. A minor mistake or even her cat meowing will evoke an eloquent string of four letter words. She has little patience. And yet this can be used as a vehicle for comedy. Her rants and raves are hilarious. She often bursts spontaneously into silly songs or dances she often makes up, often about the situation at hand. She's a dork, but she pulls it off with class.
    [*]She's a horrible cook. She lives off of prepackaged convenience food and frozen vegetables. She overcooks out of food borne illness prevention. She could live off of yogurt for weeks, and yet she's always gone on health kicks that last for varying, unpredictable periods of time.
    [*]Currently she's trying to eat anything all natural and organic. The majority is prepackaged. She is on an extreme mission to detect her ailments and is subjecting herself to the world of homeopathic medicine. Any questioning renders anger or hastly pulled together argument. She rejects debate. Disagreement startles her.
    [*]She does like to learn, and describes herself as a thinker. She likes documentaries especially, and has a large plethora of books on nutrition, psychological disorders, and of course, self help books. She loves self help books.
    [*]She will pull off cleaning for a week, and then deep clean like a tyrant. She despises clutter and goes through everything she owns obsessively. She organizes annual goodwill hauls.
    [*]She wants to help people. Currently she wants to write a book about her life and preform Ted talks in the future about what she has learned about health and wellness in order to become a nutritionist or holistic health practitioner. She tells everyone about this, with the hopes she will help people with her information. Sometimes she over shares personal information.
    [*]She is a tad judgmental, and has a tendency to make irrational decisions about people's behavior. She also diagnoses many people with psychological disorders, and sometimes even physical ones. She currently believes everyone in the family has chronic lyme disease, and that it has being genetically transmitted to all of us. Many of her theories are... perplexing and convoluted that way. Like, what?
    [*]She also is pretty mouthy, in that she'll tell you to shut up if you're annoying her, unless she feels as if you need to make a good impression upon someone. Then she will talk about you in length behind your back, or may flip you off in secret, lol.
    [*]Most conversations she enjoys are about sensory things like clothes and make-up, or advice giving or talking about people. She prefers a jovial, lighthearted, amiable atmosphere with people. Jokes are encouraged.
    [*]Most people would describe her as quite sweet and warm, and in many ways, she is.
    [*]Ultimate procrastinator. Belated birthday card diva. Overwhelmed by holidays, puts bills and grocery shopping off til the last minute. I love watching her late for a specific trip and hurriedly packing everything faster than the speed of light. She dislikes being in a rush, and yet has trouble managing her time.
    [*]She writes details lists of everything: grocery lists, recipes, procedures for the new all natural face mask or lotion or perfume or whatever crafty thing she's doing; to do lists. She also diligently uses a timer. And yet she still cannot manage time. Ha ha ha. Love you mom
    .



It may be biased because well.... we have a tricky relationship if you couldn't tell. I still think ESFJ, but any other opinions are welcome.

I also apologize for the length.
 
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@hoopla,

Fe-dom for sure. I would assume ESFJ over ENFJ, due to the fact that it is more likely. Although, nothing is exactly pointing either way.
 
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yep, ESFJ sounds right
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
Some other things:


I didn't like loud noises as a kid. She still presumes I am petrified of them. The other day I as over and she decided to vacuum, and asked if I would be bothered because it was "loud". I could write her a 30 page essay about how any "sensory processing" symptoms I had as a kid have mostly gone away and may have been completely exaggerated, and yet she still treats me as if I'm completely frightened of noise. She seems to treat everyone this way... with these black and white, unmovable, preconceived notions and is rather inflexible and unmoving about them. She is entirely disconnected from reality this way.

When she has a new idea, she goes online or finds books... she cannot improvise from scratch. She needs some existing foundation or footing to stem her ideas from. She downloaded a color template for instance in order to rearrange, swamp and match colors and determine which colors match harmoniously and which ones do not, as she couldn't "combine outfits" together. She also does this for any crafts she partakes in, an interior design idea, ect.

She was over-sheltering of me in some ways, and not in others. I listened to Eminem Cds in her car and watched South Park all throughout elementary school. Yet if I made a mistake in mopping or sweeping or didn't wash the laundry according to her standards, she would proclaim "let me do it!" and take over. She wanted to do everything for me... she was absolutely frightened I would make a mistake. I had to teach myself many tasks due to this. I had friends at ten who were allowed to walk to the mall by ourselves... she was petrified and wouldn't let me go with them at all. I felt as if my independence was extremely stifled, or as if she viewed me as unintelligent. Well I'm projecting here. Sorry for dat Fe mush.

She engages in conspiracy theories about our government, believing the standards and practices they implement are intricately crafted to keep everyone sick and unwell so the government can gain money. Ironically she rarely keeps up with the news and knows little nothing about politics.

She keeps up with trends, fashion, and tries to copy it to a T. If she looks unfashionable or not with the times, she's distressed. She often makes fun of other people who don't dress the way she believes we should. Style matters, as she says.

She has a huge fear of failure and gives up very easily if she's not able to master something quickly.

She believes she has terrible social skills, and yet she can charm a room and always knows what to say, even if she claims not to. People love her.

She describes herself as "spacy and scattered". She often hyperfocuses in an activity, causing her to lose time
 

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Some other things:


I didn't like loud noises as a kid. She still presumes I am petrified of them. The other day I as over and she decided to vacuum, and asked if I would be bothered because it was "loud". I could write her a 30 page essay about how any "sensory processing" symptoms I had as a kid have mostly gone away and may have been completely exaggerated, and yet she still treats me as if I'm completely frightened of noise. She seems to treat everyone this way... with these black and white, unmovable, preconceived notions and is rather inflexible and unmoving about them. She is entirely disconnected from reality this way.

When she has a new idea, she goes online or finds books... she cannot improvise from scratch. She needs some existing foundation or footing to stem her ideas from. She downloaded a color template for instance in order to rearrange, swamp and match colors and determine which colors match harmoniously and which ones do not, as she couldn't "combine outfits" together. She also does this for any crafts she partakes in, an interior design idea, ect.

She was over-sheltering of me in some ways, and not in others. I listened to Eminem Cds in her car and watched South Park all throughout elementary school. Yet if I made a mistake in mopping or sweeping or didn't wash the laundry according to her standards, she would proclaim "let me do it!" and take over. She wanted to do everything for me... she was absolutely frightened I would make a mistake. I had to teach myself many tasks due to this. I had friends at ten who were allowed to walk to the mall by ourselves... she was petrified and wouldn't let me go with them at all. I felt as if my independence was extremely stifled, and at ways, as if she viewed me as unintelligent. Well I'm projecting here. Sorry for dat Fe mush.

She engages in conspiracy theories about our government, believing the standards and practices they implement are intricately crafted to keep everyone sick and unwell so the government can gain money.

She keeps up with trends, fashion, and tries to copy it to a T. If she looks unfashionable or not with the times, she's distressed. She often makes fun of other people who don't dress the way she believes we should. Style matters, as she says.

She has a huge fear of failure and gives up very easily if she's not able to master something quickly.

She believes she has terrible social skills, and yet she can charm a room and always knows what to say, even if she claims not to. People love her.
Yep. ESFJ.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Yep. ESFJ.
The one thing I learned is when I feel as if she's "overbearing" she's simply trying to help. I prioritize independence, she does not. That's where we clash. :p

She also once believed herself to be an introvert... for instance, the grocery store drains her, and she will never time alone to re-cooperate. She's not though.
 

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The one thing I learned is when I feel as if she's "overbearing" she's simply trying to help. I prioritize independence, she does not. That's where we clash. :p
My mother is like that too (almost certainly confirmed ESFJ)

I need my independence, and yet my mother does not realize this. All she wants is the best for me, and sometimes she doesn't realize that I need to be left alone. At least she cares, you know?
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
My mother is like that too (almost certainly confirmed ESFJ)

I need my independence, and yet my mother does not realize this. All she wants is the best for me, and sometimes she doesn't realize that I need to be left alone. At least she cares, you know?

Exactly, but I suppose it frustrates me because she tries to do everything for me if I visit her, and constantly provides suggestions. Allow me to do these things myself LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 · (Edited)
Perfect ESFJ
Deliberately unhealthy ESFJ who considers fantasy nerdy and lame.

Her religious beliefs are interesting though. Church "overwhelms" her, as she says. Terrifying stuff. She feels as if she is being monitored, as if there's too much to contribute. She feels intimidated with all of the questions asked, all the people coming up to her... she wants to flee. Once she left the church to isolate in her car. Tears streaming all across her face. I was too young to understand, but I now realize she experienced a panic attack.

She believes there is something out there as "there must be more to this life" but does not believe in a God. Guardian angels though, yes. She doesn't pray, as God never answers her prayers, so he probably does not exist, but something is out there; spirits are amongst us. She speaks of spirituality and faith sparsely, yet these would be her answers if she were asked. I would identify her as an agnostic theist.

Her anger issues... are interesting. Once she could not properly or evenly display a picture frame. Her response? Carve "shit" on the wall with a screwdriver. lol.
 

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Well,I didn't say she was perfectly normal XD

Some of the God things remind me of my grandma and her mother(ESFJ and ISFJ)

The "shit" thing is just very me,idk what that means XD
 

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In what ways?
I'll just quote:
  • She is a Je dom. She talks excessively to the point of being self-conscious about it, with impenetrable fear about interrupting too much. I've tried to explain her excessive talking is actually admirable amongst certain social circles, and yet she rejects my advice.
  • She is the ultimate advice giver. Even now she still gives me advice on what I should do and how I should act. She is constantly giving people advice and suggestions on how to do something or what to do, and becomes demonstrably frustrated when said advice is rejected.
  • Social appropriateness is of uttermost importance to her. Her standards for what is or what is not appropriate are seemingly unmovable. If I had friends over she would constantly discuss how inappropriate I was behaving, even if I was monitoring myself based on how I believed others wanted me to behave. She doesn't seem motivated by the context or the feeling tones as much as she is by a rigid standard of how people should behave.
  • She's frightened of being rude or disrespectful. She does bend her behavior a bit (for instance, she won't swear unless you do, and she is the ultimate sailor mouth), and has described herself as a chameleon.
  • She often changes her tone of voice or what she says, and often uses fake compliments to woo people over or soothe them. That may seem to contradict what I said previously. She is moving on feeling tones, but she is still rather... systematic? She does what will please people, but there's some meticulous qualities behind her behavior. For instance I once had an ex-boyfriend's mother over.... I could tell by her non-verball cues that what I was saying about her son was alright with her. When she left my mother ejaculated (love using that word) a diatribe against my behavior, telling me I was absolutely inappropriate for "bashing" her son. I explained my reasoning I mentioned earlier and she told me she was hiding her offense to be nice. This is what I mean. She responds in accordance to other's behaviors, but within a rigid formula.
  • If she is alone, isolation is her mortal enemy. She sinks into a meditative, vegetable state, unable to move from the couch. She could stay in her apartment for weeks, and will cry woes of misery about how isolated she is.
  • She is easily agitated. Very very low frustration tolerance. A minor mistake or even her cat meowing will evoke an eloquent string of four letter words. She has little patience. And yet this can be used as a vehicle for comedy. Her rants and raves are hilarious. She often bursts spontaneously into silly songs or dances she often makes up, often about the situation at hand. She's a dork, but she pulls it off with class.
  • She's a horrible cook. She lives off of prepackaged convenience food and frozen vegetables. She overcooks out of foodborne illness prevention. She could live off of yogurt for weeks. And yet she's always gone on health kicks, that last for varying, unpredictable periods of time.
  • Currently she's trying to eat anything all natural and organic (and failing lol). The majority is prepackaged. She is on an extreme mission to detect her ailments and is subjecting herself to the world of homeopathic medicine. Any questioning renders anger or hastly pulled together argument. She rejects debate. Disagreement startles her.
  • She does like to learn, and describes herself as a thinker. She likes documentaries especially, and has a large plethora of books on nutrition, psychological disorders, and of course, self help books. She loves self help books.- THOSE ARE EXACTLY THE THING I LIKE WTF
  • She will pull off cleaning for a week, and then deep clean like a tyrant. She despises clutter and goes through everything she owns obsessively. She organizes annual goodwill hauls.
  • She wants to help people. Currently she wants to write a book about her life and preform Ted talks in the future about what she has learned about health and wellness in order to become a nutritionist or holistic health practitioner. She tells everyone about this, with the hopes she will help people with her information. Sometimes she over shares personal information.
  • She is a tad judgmental, and has a tendency to make irrational decisions about people's behavior. She also diagnoses many people with psychological disorders, and sometimes even physical ones. She currently believes everyone in the family has chronic lyme disease, and that it has being genetically transmitted to all of us. Many of her theories are... perplexing and convoluted that way. Like, what?
  • She also is pretty mouthy, in that she'll tell you to shut up if you're annoying her, unless she feels as if you need to make a good impression upon someone. Then she will talk about you in length behind your back, or may flip you off in secret, lol.
  • Most conversations she enjoys are about sensory things like clothes and make-up, or advice giving or talking about people. She prefers a jovial, lighthearted, amiable atmosphere with people. Jokes are encouraged.
  • Most people would describe her as quite sweet and warm, and in many ways, she is.
  • Ultimate procrastinator. Belated birthday card diva. Overwhelmed by holidays, puts bills and grocery shopping off til the last minute. I love watching her late for a specific trip and hurriedly packing everything faster than the speed of light. She dislikes being in a rush, and yet has trouble managing her time.
  • She makes details lists of everything. Grocery lists, recipes, procedures for the new all natural face mask or lotion or perfume or whatever crafty thing she's doing, to do lists. She also diligently uses a timer. And yet she still cannot manage time. Ha ha ha. Love you mom.
 

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I can kinda relate too,gonna do the same Romantic did in few minutes XD

Some things seem more Te-ish,but she really fits socionics ESE
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I can kinda relate too,gonna do the same Romantic did in few minutes XD

Some things seem more Te-ish,but she really fits socionics ESE
What things?

I wondering if she may be a Te dom. Probably not, but it's interesting to me.
 
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