[The Great One]

Okay so its a well known fact that sex is a lot more physical for men than it is for women. Sex tends to be more emotional for women, but is it as emotional for thinking women as it is for feeling women?

 

[Curiously]

I'm going to answer your question even though I'm a feeler (INFJ for the record). I'm answering because while I do see many of the 'feeler' qualities within me, I'm also pretty cerebral about many things and I navigate much of my life in a more detached, mental manner; or even if my emotions lead me into flights of whimsy, I'm anchored by an innate cerebral quality (perhaps this is related to my being a Type 5). In any case, I don't think I find sex too emotional unless I'm positively in love with someone. I haven't been in love too many time to begin with, but it was only during those times when I viewed sex as highly connected to my emotions/feelings.

 

[MyDarkAngel]

Sex is nothing to me. I have no emotional connection when I have sex. I think it makes it more fun.

 

[Promethea]

I disagree with the first premise because many guys I have dated were more emotional about sex.. had to be in the right frame of mind, wanted it to be loving, blahblah.

 

[The Great One]

I disagree with the first premise because many guys I have dated were more emotional about sex.. had to be in the right frame of mind, wanted it to be loving, blahblah.

True, but what about you? You are a thinking woman? Are you like that?

 

[Promethea]

True, but what about you? You are a thinking woman? Are you like that?

When I was younger, I didn't care if there was an emotional connection or not. Now that I'm older, I need to have at least that infatuated feeling to want to engage them physically. Its not always about tender lovemaking for me.. well it rarely is. Its about passionate fucking. Its primal. I'm just not driven to feel that attraction to someone until I feel attracted to their personality, but in some instances its just an illusion that I have been attracted to.. not who they -really- are.

I'm not sure if that answers your question. But the mushy lovey stuff in bed is a turnoff.

 

[The Great One]

When I was younger, I didn't care if there was an emotional connection or not. Now that I'm older, I need to have at least that infatuated feeling to want to engage them physically. Its not always about tender lovemaking for me.. well it rarely is. Its about passionate fucking. Its primal. I'm just not driven to feel that attraction to someone until I feel attracted to their personality, but in some instances its just an illusion that I have been attracted to.. not who they -really- are.

I'm not sure if that answers your question. But the mushy lovey stuff in bed is a turnoff.

Yeah, that pretty much answered the question.

 

[The Great One]

@Promethea

That's actually one of the ways that I figured out that I wasn't ENFP. I can simply fuck a woman just for the thrill. Most ENFP men can't fuck women hedonistically for very long without feeling bad and wanting some type of relationship.

 

[Promethea]

@Promethea

That's actually one of the ways that I figured out that I wasn't ENFP. I can simply fuck a woman just for the thrill. Most ENFP men can't fuck women hedonistically for very long without feeling bad and wanting some type of relationship.

I don't think this has anything to do with type. I have known intjs who can't thrill-fuck either.

 

[The Great One]

I don't think this has anything to do with type. I have known intjs who can't thrill-fuck either.

Still haven't met an ENFP that could do that. **Patiently waits for ENFP's to come to this thread to confirm my point**

 

[knittigan]

Still haven't met an ENFP that could do that. **Patiently waits for ENFP's to come to this thread to confirm my point**

I can't get you a first person testimonial, but I assure you that I'm far more emotional about sex than my ENFP roommate is.

 

[Curiously]

I can't get you a first person testimonial, but I assure you that I'm far more emotional about sex than my ENFP roommate is.

Thanks for sharing this. Somehow, I think you're a very well-adjusted and -balanced individual. My sister and you remind me of each other, even though, yes, I only know your online persona. I think this is why I really love mature and well-rounded NT (esp INT cos I'm biased) women in general; you have the sharp intellect while not neglecting emotional intelligence. Anyway, sorry for the slight derail. Carry on!

 

[GoodOldDreamer]

It's more emotional and less physical for me than it was for my SOs. *shrugs* If we ain't bonding, we ain't bumping. P

 

[Moon_Child]

Just relax... It doesn't need to be cerebral. Let yourself sit back, take in the scent of sex-time-about-to-start. Don't think about it. Fall back... That's it.

That's how I do.

 

[basementbugs]

I'm rather odd when it comes to sex... haha.

First off, I'm not a very sexual person in general and usually say that I identify as 'grey-a' if anyone asks. It's more or less a subtype of asexuality. Here's a definition; I've explained it a handful of times elsewhere on the forums so I won't launch into a big long spiel again.

Anyway, just because of personal feelings and such, I'd never really consider having sex with someone I didn't have a deep emotional and intellectual connection with. That's just because it's an intimate activity, though -- there are lots of other non-sexual things that I consider intimate, and I wouldn't share them with someone I wasn't close to, either. Sexual activity itself, though... er, it doesn't have a whole lot to do with emotions for me. I can easily count on one hand the number of times that sex has made me feel deeply emotionally connected to the other person. More often than not, I feel rather detached during sex and empty afterwards. Mostly I prefer to just do things for my partner's enjoyment, without any focus on myself; that way, there's no expectation that I'm going to get something emotionally fulfilling out of it. It becomes more like a fun game that I get to play with someone's body. It's still something I'd do only with a person I cared for deeply, though.

For the record, I'm an INFP. I strongly get the impression that this is not really the norm for INFPs... but maybe that's just because of my tendency to identify with asexuality to some degree. Sex for me is just not very important compared to the other ways I could potentially connect with someone I have strong feelings for.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm emotional with men I actually like or care about, but I haven't been emotional every time I've had sex. I can be totally physical, and that may have to do with Se/Te (I should just type myself as ESFP, eh?)

However, if I like/care a guy, then I'm a total emotional nut, yes.

I think it's a logical fallacy to presume that all feeling women are totally emotional about ALL sex. I even feel that occasionally I objectify men, and I tend to like fairly graphic porn for a lady person.

 

[The Great One]

I'm rather odd when it comes to sex... haha.

First off, I'm not a very sexual person in general and usually say that I identify as 'grey-a' if anyone asks. It's more or less a subtype of asexuality. Here's a definition; I've explained it a handful of times elsewhere on the forums so I won't launch into a big long spiel again.

Anyway, just because of personal feelings and such, I'd never really consider having sex with someone I didn't have a deep emotional and intellectual connection with. That's just because it's an intimate activity, though -- there are lots of other non-sexual things that I consider intimate, and I wouldn't share them with someone I wasn't close to, either. Sexual activity itself, though... er, it doesn't have a whole lot to do with emotions for me. I can easily count on one hand the number of times that sex has made me feel deeply emotionally connected to the other person. More often than not, I feel rather detached during sex and empty afterwards. Mostly I prefer to just do things for my partner's enjoyment, without any focus on myself; that way, there's no expectation that I'm going to get something emotionally fulfilling out of it. It becomes more like a fun game that I get I play with someone's body. It's still something I'd do only with a person I cared for deeply, though.

For the record, I'm an INFP. I strongly get the impression that this is not really the norm for INFPs... but maybe that's just because of my tendency to identify with asexuality to some degree. Sex for me is just not very important compared to the other ways I could potentially connect with someone I have strong feelings for.

Are you a sexual variant?

 

[missushoney]

I'm a feeler but I don't feel any emotional attachment when having sex. I'm actually worried about it. I wonder if it means I must not really like the person and it'll be different when I actually do, or will it always be like this? I don't know. Now one thing I will say is I am more comfortable and can have fun and like sex when i'm with someone i like and know well, but with strangers it's uncomfortable and i kind of go numb throughout the whole thing.

 

[Shale]

It depends on the scenario. Women who are emotionally detached in relationships/marriages pretty much continue to have sex for the physical reasons regardless of their MBTI.

 

[basementbugs]

Are you a sexual variant?

I keep getting different results for that... sometimes I get 'sexual' and sometimes I get 'self-preservation'; never 'social', though. I always test as 4w5, but the variants... well, they vary. Haha. I feel like my answers are generally consistent, but maybe my mood and thoughts at the time of taking the test influence the results more than I think. I dunno, really. I do relate strongly to the definition of the sexual variant, just... not in a literally sexual way.