I would like to know whether the girl I am interested in is an ISTJ or not and why she is acting the way she does.
Here is the premise : The girl I'm talking about is 2 years older and we were working together for the same organization at different places. She had some sort of authority over me at work. We never met. I hated her coz she would scoop up all work without giving the design a proper thought. She wouldn't let my Ne even propose that her methods are wrong or we should look alternative approaches. This went on for sometime.
Now, coming to the first question Reasons for thinking she is an ISTJ :
Takes work way too seriously
Takes up unwanted work
Very much project success oriented
Stubborn to the core
Very good at getting things done
Not very social except work things
Though about throwing me overboard coz of work differences - she confessed later once we were close
Very boring interests
Not interested in alternate viewpoints or possibilities
Blindly praises hierarchy and follows it and hates anyone who doesn't
Very stubborn and acknowledges it
Asks/looks for reasons even in emotions
She doesn't share personal/emotional stuff easily, but Occasionally she shares
She like observing people and talking about things that has happened
Hates my N and T
Does she strike you as an ISTJ?
I didn't like reading that.
Pretty much.
The rest :
She once visited our office and we didn't even talk.
Things changed and we had to be at the same place for work, this time though I'm not at all under her authority and not even working for the same organization. This made it easier for me to talk with her. Before travelling to her place I asked her about the place and she told me some details.
Once I was there, she took me to couple places. We hung out couple times and then she stopped hanging out with me all of a sudden. This confused me as she repeatedly told me that she enjoyed our hang outs. During this period I was kind of obsessed about her.
Then during the last week for me at this new place, we hung out like a lot. Spend a lot of time together and enjoyed this a lot. Just before this, she had asked me whether I was falling for her. I told her I fall for all the people I am good friends with and that it's quiet natural. She was not entirely satisfied with this and told me that falling for someone had only one meaning and one way. I disagreed. Anyway on the last day we hung out together and she told me she liked me(not love). when I was about to leave we were both gonna just shake hands and somehow I felt like hugging her and opened my arms and told her "come here" and she came in and we had a good hug. She later told me that she wanted to hug for some more time and she liked the hug. She also told me that she doesn't give frontal hugs to guys.
Now starts the. Confusing part for me. She had told me that she had a boyfriend and I told her that I am not at all planning to land her or anything. She contradicted this directly at a later time by telling me "Do you really think I have a bf? Well I don't" she said the person was a friend whom her friends used to tease her about. She has a set plan for things and she has this notion that she is a not a very likeable person and the people who wants to be close to her are always in love with her.
Occasionally, she spends time skyping with me and is willing to even stretch her sleep time sometimes. I think she does this with her other friends as well. Being an INTP it's pretty easy for me to annoy her and she doesn't like this. She sometimes teases me a lot about us.
When we are talking and about somethings, she would stop suddenly and tells me that somethings are personal and that we have rules so she wouldn't tell me more about it. This really confuses me again
All that rambling aside, I would like to be close friends with her. I only have friends who doesn't mind talking about absolutely everything with me. Everything's including deeply personal stuff, sex and what not. I can't figure out whether she likes me or no, if she is a lil afraid of how things are going. I have no clue as to what's happening. Sometimes I feel like she is just playing her mental games with me. Especially when she just contradicted her own statment about her bf. If any of you can give me some insights, that would be great.
PS : I can't write this down any better, so please bare with me.
She likes you. I also wouldn't have been satisfied with your answer. That would make me very uneasy and I would have stopped dropping you hints/telling you that I liked you.
I believe she's only letting you in on certain things about herself that's proportionate to the relationship she has with you.
If you want to find out more, I believe you could ask her how she classifies people into groups like acquaintances, friends, close friends, etc. and what she shares with them.
In my mind there are always "cut-offs" with what I will share with someone based on how I classify my relationship with them, and not by the amount of time I spend with them or what that person thinks the relationship is.
I don't think she's trying to play mental games with you. I believe she's just throwing you a line, letting you know she's interested in you. I don't really like how she told you she had a bf and then said that she didn't but maybe this is just her attempt at trying to make you jealous. It doesn't really sound like something an ISTJ would normally do... well at least not something I would do. Just remember this, "
falling for someone had only one meaning and one way."
Anyway, despite your responses to her, I still believe she's hinting to you that she wants a relationship. You saying things like,
"I am not at all planning to land her or anything", is going to put her off. She'll begin to classify you as something less than a potential interest so she's most likely not going to share a lot of things with you.
I don't know whether she would want to be close friends with you, especially after she told you she liked you.
What are your thoughts about what I've just shared?
