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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
People who are self-conscious and shy, who refuse to socialize because they think they'll do something stupid or that they're unattractive, etc.

Is this more of a Feeler problem?

Because even ISTPs, as hermit-ish as they seem, they could be loud and gregarious if they wanted to. But what about people with social anxiety? I could see that way more easily in an ISFP.
 

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I definitely feel that shyness is most prevalent in IF types. I'd say ISFP's are probably the most likely to be shy, though it fits in ISFJ's, INFJ's and INFP's too.

Not to say that everyone of those types is shy...I know that shyness isn't tied to type and that there are all kinds of things to play into it. It came up a lot in this thread:

http://personalitycafe.com/articles/27305-shyness-type.html


Anyway, I do agree that feeling often plays into it some, just because feelers care so much about social dynamics and taking people's emotions into account. Thinkers usually don't care as much about what people think about them.
 

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What do you mean by shy? As in not talking to people because you're scared to or because you're disinterested in socializing?
 

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INFJ

I am shy with people I like romantically. With almost anyone else, I can be quite loud. I wish it made sense - but it doesn't. :(

Basically - people I care about, very quiet. people I don't know, very loud.

I'm IxFx - so I thought you might like to know. :)
 
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As Philly suggested, there are different types of behavioral tendencies that would be labeled as "shyness". All introverted types can be (and often are) shy, but the reasons behind it differs among the types. IxFx's would probably be more prone to being afraid of doing something awkward, etc. where as an IxTx "shyness" would probably be more of apathy towards socializing in general.
 

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People who are self-conscious and shy, who refuse to socialize because they think they'll do something stupid or that they're unattractive, etc.

Is this more of a Feeler problem?

Because even ISTPs, as hermit-ish as they seem, they could be loud and gregarious if they wanted to. But what about people with social anxiety? I could see that way more easily in an ISFP.
I would not say that shyness is correlative to type. I'm sure if you did a poll on this and ran the statistics it would be all over the place. Extraverts can be shy just as much as introverts, and introverts can not be shy. I could see why feeler types would be because they are more socially sensitive, but that's no reason why a thinker might not too. Their life experiences could make a huge difference that goes beyond MBTI.
 

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Shyness is a mild social anxiety, so I don't think it correlates directly to any type, but I could see certain mindsets being more sensitive in general so that it leads to shyness. I'll jump on the bandwagon with the IxFx types though. Introversion can mean less interest in interacting which can lead to poor social skills, and Feeling makes you quite sensitive to this flaw, & then you feel anxious about your poor social skills & that anxiety makes you avoid interaction; a vicious cycle....

I do think some shy extroverted types may think they're introverts though, or that shy extroverts just exist in general. Most of the shy Es I've known broke out of it at some point, or their shyness is very situational.

I've definitely known some shy IxTx types also; it was more than disinterest, but a real anxiety about interacting with people, possibly stemming from the reason above about having poor skills due to an avoidance of people.
 

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I know 2 INTJs with social anxiety disorder.

When I think of "shyness" or even "embarrassment", I tend to think of younger kids. That phase of teenage years where we think we are performing for an "imaginary audience". I know a few extroverts who used to be "shy" then realized nobody cared like they once imagined they did.
 

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I don't really think it's specific to feelers. I'm pretty shy myself and am extremely awkward and somewhat lacking in social skills(I've realized that recently...). I used to have bad social anxiety and social phobia, though.
 

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Is shy really a "problem"?
I think it's regarded as one since it's not that people who are shy are just not social, but that they have some problem in that area.
 

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You know, I used to be extremely shy. Now, I'm just apathetic to socializing because I have nothing to talk about. I often find the things that people talk about boring. i.e gossip, sports...you get the picture. Not only that, but I have a hard time keeping relationships going because most people are Extroverted, and often are too busy socializing with their more outgoing friends to pay attention to me. They expect me to join their group, when I just want to have one-on-one conversations. It doesn't help that most of the people at my school are focused on being random all the time. They just do things to be funny, and never want to have deep conversations it seems. I think it's because they are afraid of going deep, really. They would view that as "pessimistic." It definitely doesn't help that half of the conversation they talk about is small talk. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be silent than talk about the weather. I also get irritated when people constantly talk about things they saw, heard, or did. For some reason, it irritates me less when people do it online. I think it's because it involves no real interaction. Still, I find it boring. They often think I'm shy, but I'm not. In fact, I have no qualms about walking to a random guy and asking him out. However, I am picky about who I date so I haven't dated anyone yet.
 

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INFJ

I am shy with people I like romantically. With almost anyone else, I can be quite loud. I wish it made sense - but it doesn't. :(

Basically - people I care about, very quiet. people I don't know, very loud.

I'm IxFx - so I thought you might like to know. :)
This is absolutely how I am as well.....! And I hate hate hate that I am shy with people I like romantically....good to know I'm not the only INFJ with this :happy:.....
 
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I think it's regarded as one since it's not that people who are shy are just not social, but that they have some problem in that area.
Perhaps I see shyness in a different light, I was thinking of when girls become coy and start blushing etc... it's especially cute when the more extroverted become all shy.

With guys it's more looked down upon but in my case as I said I think people are perceiving that I'm being shy when in fact I'm not interested or even knowledgeable enough to discuss what ever is going on. I struggle to make small talk and people become disinterested when I talk about something I'm more interested so I find it better to just sit then and observe... I guess that's how my Ne develops?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Is shy really a "problem"?
I define shyness as a type of anxiety. If you WANT to talk to people or interact with them but you're being held back due to fear and anxiety. That's a problem. And that's what I tend to attribute to Feelers, since anxiety is a feeling. And by definition, Feelers use their feelings to guide their decisions, so they won't try to plough through it. Generally speaking, I think a Thinker would realize that the anxiety is illogical and plough through it anyway, even if they're also anxious. So perhaps Feelers have demonstrable anxiety and with Thinkers, it's more fleeting and secret.

This is NOT the same thing as introversion - a simple preference for being alone. That's perfectly healthy.
 

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With guys it's more looked down upon but in my case as I said I think people are perceiving that I'm being shy when in fact I'm not interested or even knowledgeable enough to discuss what ever is going on. I struggle to make small talk and people become disinterested when I talk about something I'm more interested so I find it better to just sit then and observe... I guess that's how my Ne develops?
No, no, no. Shy guys for an ENFP can be like "hubba hubba". But I still won't ask them out. They have to get beyond the barrier. But I probably will talk their ear off until then.

I define shyness as a type of anxiety. If you WANT to talk to people or interact with them but you're being held back due to fear and anxiety. That's a problem. And that's what I tend to attribute to Feelers, since anxiety is a feeling. And by definition, Feelers use their feelings to guide their decisions, so they won't try to plough through it. Generally speaking, I think a Thinker would realize that the anxiety is illogical and plough through it anyway, even if they're also anxious. So perhaps Feelers have demonstrable anxiety and with Thinkers, it's more fleeting and secret.

This is NOT the same thing as introversion - a simple preference for being alone. That's perfectly healthy.
And that would work, too if I didn't know shy thinkers.

Man, I've been explained in detail what an INTJ feels and goes through emotionally when he is having social anxiety. No way in hell does he "plough though". He is medicated so he can at least stay an hour for social engagements. Usually the feeling is too great and he takes off.
 
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