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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone, I've posted something similar to this on other boards but it has come of no avail and sort of been buried. Anyways, I need some advice. I have been talking to this girl for a very long time. Three years if I'm being honest. Anyways, I am at the point where I think I should ask her out, but I'm not sure if the method I'm using is a bit too much. She has an amazing piano at her place and I often play it for her. My idea was to play and sing Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon" and include the question somewhere in the song. Is that too much? Is it okay? I'm an INTP which in many circles is short for "a robot without the ability to show emotion." In the past when asking a girl out I've tried asking directly and I almost threw up due to anxiety. I've also tried writing a letter. That girl hasn't spoken with me since she read the letter 2 years ago. So I believe that my anxiety over screwing up is justifiable. Seeing as I am a musician and can communicate through it, I thought this seemed like a good plan. That said, some have called it over kill, and I honestly don't know if I should do it. What do you guys think? I honestly don't know if it'll factor into anything, but I know she's an MBTI ENTP if that changes things. (I don't really know if it matters) Thanks for reading all of this and for any thoughts that you share.
 

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........

Why don't just say "hey, want to go out with me?" and suggest a time and place.
 

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when you like someone don't wait, especially three years. you did write her that letter and she stopped talking to you, should be your answer. You're also both really really young, @17 you're still growing up and figuring things out ( and so is she). she might not even knows what she wants, and if she doesn't know if she wants you or not... why waste time. hope you don't return here in a few years with a fedora wearing deerhead instead of a tophat <3 good luck.
 

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wait it's a different girl? yeah totally charm her with serenading her, lol. it's not "too much".
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I'm intending to ask her to be my girlfriend. I did something very similar asking her to prom last year and it worked for that. Different atmosphere, same idea. That said, a lot of people here on PerCafe have suggested I do something far more low key. Essentially anything but this.
 

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What was the similar thing you did to ask her to prom? Did you throw the question into a different song you played her or something like that?
 

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Well if it floats your boat, Mr Elaborate go ahead. She might find it really cute, or the charm of it might not be so great second time around. Girls don't need gimmicks to like a guy, and if she likes you anyway then gimmicks are a waste of time. I'd just go ahead and ask her to be your girlfriend without the piano. But then....I'm not much of a romantic anyway.
 

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Hmmm... you seem to really want to go ahead with this, so my comment is that if enough time has passed since you did it the first time, you could do it this time with a "remember when I did this" comment in the lyrics. If I were the one being sung to I'd prefer that you were self-aware about the fact you're repeating the same gimmick and might find it funny, rather than if you just played it straight and expected me to be just as thrilled the second time round as the first... that could seem more unoriginal... like you'd have one joke that you're going to be telling over and over again for the rest of my life if I agree to go out with you haha. Then again I'm not her and you know her better than anyone offering you advice in this thread so just go with your gut. Let us know how you go if you like.
 

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If a guy did this, I would reject him flat out. Sorry.
 
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Ok so... here's the thing:

If this is what you do and how you're comfortable then yes, go for it. Why? Because in the end (if it's the right girl) she's going to appreciate the quirky things you do. If she doesn't respond well to it, then keep looking for your girl.

Personally I'd think it was adorable, but I'm a musician and a theater geek... so yea.

I think some people are picturing this kind of thing:

 

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Ok so... here's the thing:

If this is what you do and how you're comfortable then yes, go for it. Why? Because in the end (if it's the right girl) she's going to appreciate the quirky things you do. If she doesn't respond well to it, then keep looking for your girl.

Personally I'd think it was adorable, but I'm a musician and a theater geek... so yea.

I think some people are picturing this kind of thing:

That's not what I'm picturing.

The entire concept of a guy singing a song to me while playing the piano would just be over-the-top.

If you want to date me, ask me out. Don't go through stupid, elaborate shenanigans to get my attention. I just think you're an attention whore at that point.
 
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I'm with @koalaroo For me, this sort of thing is over-the-top and a total turnoff. My ex-husband used to pull these ridiculous stunts all the time and it was just embarrassing.
 

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Like Dr. Phil always says (are you still here ;) "The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour".

It worked before and she likes you playing for her. It sounds like she is 'into you'. This kind of thing would work for me if I was already into the guy in question. You are a musician and girl's tend to dig musician's...you have that going for you. That you are a songwriter ups that ante.

Most importantly there is something in you that inherently feels the urge to do it. In life the best wins are when we authentically be ourselves. If she says yes, she is agreeing to date YOU the guy who likes to do this sort of thing. That's good. You are a match.

Hope it works out for you!
 

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Everyone reacts to over the top differently. It tends to embarrassed me not in a good way.

However, as a woman on the receiving end of being asked out, I don't care what ways as long as I like you enough I'd say yes. If not, you can hire Beyonce to sing a song in front of me i'd still say no thanks.


IMO the worst is the ball game proposal on the giant tron. It's almost like forcing someone's hand. I don't think the guys I've dated would ever do something so stupid if they knew me.
 

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Who doesn't like a guy who plays a piano as long as he's not playing it badly?
 
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