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Discussion Starter #1
I believe I am INFP as I identify with it all the time.

But what I notice is different with me, which I see with almost no other INFP's is.

A very cruel and dark streak towards those you do not like.

High to Extreme Cynicalness.

A seemingly cruel and hard shell, but said to be very very sweet and loving when I let >truly< let them in.

[I believe I built this up over the time I had been hurt in relationships and had my trust broken many a time, and staying so locked away, with no friends. My feelings toward society only got worse.]

Those two elements about myself worry me, don't know why. It's like I take offense and I sort of go off, unless you're a very good friend that I know didn't mean it. I feel so cynical too.


Oh man, I feel like I'm going in circles.
 

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You sound just like me. There are times when I can be extremely dark and cynical. I also judge the living shit out of people I don't like. I can be quite hypocritical sometimes, which is something I'm trying to work on.
 

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Yeah, obz. I don't get very hypocritical, but increasingly logically cruel when someone has crossed my lines, I rarely fall on my own swords.
 

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Yeah, obz. I don't get very hypocritical, but increasingly logically cruel when someone has crossed my lines, I rarely fall on my own swords.
I think I may have worded my previous post incorrectly. By hypocritical, I meant I judge people who I see as intolerant or judgmental of others, therefore becoming judgmental myself. If you can see what I'm getting at.
 

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I've read it said that INFPs can present a calloused and cynical exterior to the world, because inside they are full of hope and gooey loving emotions like so many creme eggs. I've also heard it written that we can be fey and childlike on the outside to disguise that internally we are struggling with issues of meaninglessness and loss of hope.
What I really think is that whether we seem dark or light on the outside, it is because we are concealing something of the opposite a layer beneath that, which in turn has another contrary layer of being beneath. Essentially I think we're like onions, with alternating layers of parfait and horrible ogre skin. Except I haven't figured out whether the centre is delicious caramelly goodness or stinky festering onion.

Maybe you want to peel a layer or two off, it certainly freshens up an onion to lose that dry and crackly outer shell.

Enough terrible imagery I think.
 

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Are you sure you aren't a jaded INFP, due to your heartbreak from relationships? There are few things more important to idealists than ideals and having them crushed or watching them unravel can really throw you into cynicism and perhaps even cruelty. Sadly, more often than not an idealised form of love is the easiest one to be undermined if not destroyed.

I went through a similar experience of suppressing Fi in my teenage years due to trauma, I was extremely cynical and unhappy and lonely as a result. I really wanted to open up to someone but couldn't. It's been some years since then and I've returned a lot to how I was before, although some of the cynicism and pain remains. You may not even truely be cynical in an absolute sense, you're being cynical to protect the parts of yourself important to you which you feel are now vulnerable.

Not just that but INFPs have a dark side - and its a battle I literally mean of the Star Wars darkside and lightside internal struggle variety. I think every human has a potential dark streak but in many cases it doesn't surface. If you have lost sight of your dreams or ideals, becoming cruel/callous or perhaps even sadistic in the worst case scenario is not a big stretch of the imagination. But by you saying that you are still sweet and loving to those you let in means that you are an INFP, and that part of you isn't dead. I suggest to either try and take a break from relationships for a while or find something in your life that makes you happy and let the pain heal a little, the inner beauty you crave should slowly return in its own time and its own way. You've probably grown from your experiences but experiences you've learnt from shouldn't necessarily control you. The fact you are even considering this question and asking this question suggests to me that you aren't evil and that you have a conscience which is kind. I've been told a person without a conscience would not ask why they have no conscience or think nothing for such a question.
 

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The world tends to be harsh to idealists, throw in introversion and its a recipe for bottling things up and being frustrated, angry, cynical and resentful...I know becuase most of the time I am that way
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"A seemingly cruel and hard shell, but said to be very very sweet and loving when I let >truly< let them in."

I feel completely different, like all the niceness and sweetness is the shell instead and inside I really dont care about anything. sometimes that comes out.

No infp is the same...i am new at this but personality type descriptions only cover the very basic behavior preferences, you shouldnt get stuck in all the streotypes of what an "infp" should or shouldnt be.
 

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I'm cruel to people I don't like and always have been since I can remember, I'm usually not keen on people I don't know until I get to know them a bit.

I've also heard it written that we can be fey and childlike on the outside to disguise that internally we are struggling with issues of meaninglessness and loss of hope.
This worries me, I'm childlike a lot of the time and until I read this the reason is somewhat true but never realised it. :/
 

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I believe I am INFP as I identify with it all the time.

But what I notice is different with me, which I see with almost no other INFP's is.

A very cruel and dark streak towards those you do not like.

High to Extreme Cynicalness.

A seemingly cruel and hard shell, but said to be very very sweet and loving when I let >truly< let them in.

[I believe I built this up over the time I had been hurt in relationships and had my trust broken many a time, and staying so locked away, with no friends. My feelings toward society only got worse.]

Those two elements about myself worry me, don't know why. It's like I take offense and I sort of go off, unless you're a very good friend that I know didn't mean it. I feel so cynical too.


Oh man, I feel like I'm going in circles.
Yes, there is something wrong with you.
Go cry abour it.
 

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I'm not sure if astrology has any bearings on personality traits but I too am a Libra and can relate to what you say.

Typically, I come across as a very personable, light hearted person that would do anything for anyone. Underneath that front however is a solid layer of selfishness and complete disinterest in other people's needs and feelings. It is only those I get to know that benefit from my 'deep well of caring' that is buried under said layer.

Maybe it's a self defence thing I've developed after being taken for a mug all too many times in the past. Maybe it's because I'm a Libra and we are said to be selfish bastards that present a nicey-nicey face to the world. Whatever the case, don't beat yourself up about it - there's nothing wrong with you.

Tell me, have you ever gone through a period in your life where you're truly happy and centred within yourself? I have and you know what? I was the nicest guy on the planet :p that's when my INFPness shone through and that is why I want to sort my bloody life out so much. We all have that gooey stuff at the core, it's just sometimes obscured by the defences we throw up in my opinion :)
 

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Discussion Starter #15

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I know mate, that's what my point up there was based on ^ :p

I was talking about how I can relate to you and wondering if birth signs had anything to do with personality traits.
 

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I know mate, that's what my point up there was based on ^ :p

I was talking about how I can relate to you and wondering if birth signs had anything to do with personality traits.
I don't know, but I'm Libra and I can relate to what you said. Too.
 

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Yeah, obz. I don't get very hypocritical, but increasingly logically cruel when someone has crossed my lines, I rarely fall on my own swords.
Your reaction is a natural defense mechanism. I, being a thinker, can get easily confused or overwhelmed with strong emotions (they take me a lot of time to sort out), so the easiest way for me to get rid of negative feelings is to shut down emotionally and abuse my Thinking and Judging function (overcompensation).
I think this is what is happening there. You think to avoid feeling.

(my humble opinion....)
 

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I've read it said that INFPs can present a calloused and cynical exterior to the world, because inside they are full of hope and gooey loving emotions like so many creme eggs. I've also heard it written that we can be fey and childlike on the outside to disguise that internally we are struggling with issues of meaninglessness and loss of hope.

Aint that the bitter truth? :frustrating:
 
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