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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Had a long chat with my mum today over a Pizza Express dish that could have fed a horse.
I said to her I was positive I was an introvert. After explaining to her in depth what that word is defined as, she called bullshit. She said that I'm quiet, but not an introvert.
Given that she is arguably one of the best saleswomen in the UK, I found hard to believe when she then went on to explain how she actually hates small talk, although I have no problem with it.

I'm a little confused as to how there is a difference here.
 

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I think the deal with introversion is that, since it's internally based, it's simply more narrow and precise in focus. The extroverts have greater breadth of attention, but lower precision. The rest of the personality depends on the circumstances and agenda for the day.
 

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I think if you're quiet and reserved, and feel tired and drained from, or are unwilling to extravert attention and energy then you are an introvert.

I'm not sure if I've seen a quiet extrovert. They can have their quiet times alone but when there are people around, they will talk and interact while an introvert can remain quiet and reserved in the midst of company.
 

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I would consider myself a quiet extrovert. I draw energy from those around me and I am energized by social situations (Fe) but I am generally quiet and fairly shy. Partly due to my Fe, which has an idea about how it should act in certain situations; I was raised that children should be seen and not heard and I am still adjusting to not being a child anymore and asserting myself more in social environments.
 

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Yep.

Introversion is internally based - your natural attention and focus is directed internally, meaning you derive your energy from being alone, quiet introspection, and you yourself are your own perfect company. Generally, this would mean that you prefer to be quiet, remain reserved and private and are less interested in interacting with other people than an extrovert.

And extroversion is externally based, meaning you derive energy from the outer world - not just socializing, but by interacting - listening to music, being part of a crowd or being in a stimulating enviroment with lots of noise and activity happening around you. Generally, this would mean that you prefer to interact and spend most of your time doing so.

And that's where the simplification of "loud vs quiet" comes from. It's just a generalization, and while it definitely helps in measuring I vs E, it's definitely not all there is to it.

I'm a quiet extrovert. I have social anxiety and am very shy, so I remain reserved and quiet most of the time. If I was an introvert I wouldn't mind that, but because I'm an extrovert, it's miserable. hate keeping to myself, and I actually find it really draining; it exhausts me. When I'm uncomfortable I'll become withdrawn and not interact, but if I had a choice, it would be the complete opposite. I don't really like peace and quiet all that much, I can only handle it as much as an introvert can handle socialization. Of course I like to go home and relax on my own, but even then I'm blasting music or have the TV on in the background, or am on the phone with a friend.

So, yeah! And perhaps a true introvert would be loud and appear extroverted because they enjoy being the life of the party, or enjoy entertaining friends etc but can only handle so much of it before they feel the need to retreat back to their rooms and recharge.

Another thing - introverts tend to be more okay with doing the same thing for a long time, while this drains extroverts and they prefer to switch between tasks or multitasks.

I guess in the end the defining feature would be when you feel you come most alive. With a group of friends, or when you get to be alone? Hope I cleared this up for you!! ^^
 

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quiet=/=introvert

What makes someone an introvert or extrovert depends on where their mental attention is, either towards the object or the subject.

Extroverts in general adjust themselves to the environment. There is no filter between them and the environment around them. They are in the world, fully present. They may be engaging in the experience, or all the possible outcomes of the current situation or how things currently happening connect to other things, the current emotional atmosphere or the efficiency or order of things in the environment.

Introverts in general want the environment to adapt to them. There is a filter between them and the environment. They are paying attention to how something affects them, how it makes them feel, what they think. They are not engaged in the present moment, but inside their head. They may be paying attention to their moods or feelings, If the subject makes sense to them, how something reminds them of something else or how comfortable they currently are, the future consequence of the situation.

Both can talk, both can speak, both can be quiet. It is where the mental attention is placed.
 

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quiet is a facet of introversion, but some introverts (myself included) are a bit out-of-preference and thus enthusiastic. You can read about it here
 
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My teacher said to the class, "Describe Kipposhi with one word". And my graduating class unanimously said, "Quiet".

I was the taciturn student that never said anything to anyone, ever.

I am an ENTP.

No, "introversion" and "quiet" are not the same, as others have pointed out. Extroversion refers to gaining energy from interactions; introversion loses energy and needs to take alone time to retool.

There are some other criteria for each, but nothing in the definition of introversion necessarily correlates it with "quiet". Likewise, no reason an extravert can't be silent.
 

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I used to be a quiet extravert for years and even made myself believe I was introverted. I realized lately that I never was actually, I remember getting very upset as a child if my introverted sister refused to spend time with me since I only wanted to be alone if I read a book or so. Anyway, it was very hard to get anything out of me if you didn't know me thoroughly.

I was shocked when a friend invited me somewhere about a year ago saying that "we need someone who is even louder than me", since I hadn't noticed the change that well myself. Anyway, my point is that I believe I've always been extraverted and that it didn't have anything to do with whether I was quiet or not.
 

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Like others have said, it's a generalisation. I don't have anything to add to the definitions already given.

I thought my ENTP boyfriend was an introvert at first. It wasn't until I got to know him better that I realised just how dependant on external stimulation he is. I don't think he's a social extravert (at least he wears out quickly if he has to play social butterfly for too long) but he's very much involved in his environment, tinkering with things and absorbing new ideas and wanting to experience things. So add "not really interested in people" to his upbringing in an introverted culture, and it's obvious where I got led astray.

Conversely, I was raised in a more extraverted environment and I'll talk people's ears off if I a) feel comfortable and b) feel passionately about something. I used to get told to shut up all the time when I was a kid. I would probably be a lot more open if that hadn't happened. As it is the social anxiety keeps me quieter than I otherwise would be. I'm confident that I'd still be an introvert - I'm very focused on the subjective - but I'd be a louder, more talkative introvert. ^__^;;
 

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Introverts can be loud, Extroverts can be quiet. Really can't say too much else. It's all been said. ^^

It's all where you get and direct your energy that's important. But that doesn't necessarily mean you're quiet or loud in social situations. There are so many reasons a person wants to be quiet in a social situation. If you're at a party surrounded by strangers, even the most stereotypical Extrovert will tone it down and report situations like that aren't very nice. If you have social anxiety or are shy, you're going to want to be quiet. My sister sometimes just doesn't want to waste time talking to people she doesn't know or doesn't feel like talking to at the moment. She can be more quiet than the most stereotypical Introvert in many social situations when her close friends aren't involved.

If you are one of those people-watching Extroverts (like me!), then you're quiet because you're too busy watching the way in which other people interact and wondering about them to speak.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
If you are one of those people-watching Extroverts (like me!), then you're quiet because you're too busy watching the way in which other people interact and wondering about them to speak.
So you can learn to manipulate them better? ;)
 

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I am quiet.

But also an extremely extroverted entj.

I like social interaction. Most people aren't worth bothering with though.
 

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Definitely a difference. I'm a quiet extrovert. I actually think that a lot of Fe-doms can be quiet, as it is not always socially appropriate to be loud.
 
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