For a long time I never doubted that I am an INFP, and maybe this sounds very superficial to you guys, but recently I have been realizing that I am actually a bit more put together and a routine-based than I originally thought, so the sneaking suspicion that I am an INFJ has crept into my mind. Maybe this is just a post to confirm that I’m INFP, or maybe it’s because I have a mix of Enneagram 4 and 9 traits (though my “‘main” combo is 4w5). Anyway:
1. I do crave interaction with others, but I can spend hours at a time being alone. Socializing with other people can be nice but I really need that alone time or at least time where I can retreat into my little “head space”, usually so I can re-engage better or at least feel a little more balanced. The older I get the more I prefer being alone over being with people who don’t “get” me at all.
2. I often find that expressing myself through words and writing / typing is easier than sending voice messages back and forth. It takes time for me to respond verbally if I’m being asked to do that right away, but if given time to write / type a response I often feel as though I can get my point across better. Still there are other times when I’m perfectly able to express myself verbally and immediately, usually with people who already get me / agree with me on most things, but I often find myself thinking over and over about different ideas and theories or just my imagination going over and over inside me and by the time I feel comfortable enough expressing it to someone, it will have been thought over god knows how many times. And there are others that never make it to the “verbal” front, at least not for a while. My mind’s definitely a lot more active than what people can pick up on.
3. There are times where I first experience something partially or fully before coming to any conclusions, but I’m more likely to feel / judge and come to a conclusion and it will depend on whether the experience (if I delve into it) is sufficient to change my mind somewhat or fully. I judge out of my inherent beliefs and values usually independent of the situation / external circumstances, generally if I have decided on a ‘no’ it remains a ‘no’. I definitely have these beliefs that I can’t really explain, it’s what feels right to me and by extension, what I feel would be good for humanity as a whole. I can’t really tell you why, and it’s not out of “but others are doing it” it’s just what resonates most strongly with me.
4. How I personal feeling with regards to something is valued more deeply than me than finding the universal or objective. This is not to say I don’t look for the universal / objective side to morality / emotions but I can do that better when there’s something personal I can draw from. For example I won’t feel sad over someone’s death just because it’s the end of a life. If I think that person did lots of harm to me or to the world, I think their death’s well deserved, a relief / necessary event if anything.
5. This is not to say I like conflict / stir conflict for the sake of it. I try my best to show a basic level of courtesy and to take the reactions of other people into consideration, especially if they’re someone close to me, but deep down I always try to keep a tab on how I truly feel about a particular situation. I will express my dislike / disdain most frequently through a lack of willingness to engage and do as I’m “supposed” to do, but if really backed into a corner I will either get away from it altogether or stand my ground and push back. I don’t want to hurt anyone for the sake of it, but if I am pushed over and over again, or if I feel there’s a genuine threat to me or a loved one, I feel as though whatever happens to the offender should be at my discretion.
6. I’m very much a rebel. Even when some of my beliefs do happen to align with the “majority”, I don’t feel as though I have to reach that point the same way as many other people do / I don’t feel as though what I want to do with it has to be the same. My biggest fear is not being understood and appreciated for my uniqueness, rather than not being accepted into a “commonality” / “normality.” I seldom, if ever try to express this desire for uniqueness through my outward appearance or statements that start with “I am so and so.” Rather, you have to engage with me and listen to the things I say / I will drop hints of how I feel my thoughts differ from the “majority.” I generally don’t like prolonged restrictions to my freedom of action, movement, or just a general sense of strangers / people I don’t know well and impersonal entities having authority over me.
7. I have a very sharp memory and recall when it comes to details that I choose to pick up. This often surprises people when I demonstrate how much info I can retain accurately. Usually I have to be very interested in something. Then, there are other times where I absolutely, for the life of me, cannot handle simple instructions / small details / small things usually daily things. I can be extremely absent-minded. I often freeze when given a set of instructions related to simple tasks in daily life, it’s like listening to a language from a faraway galaxy. I also get tired when I listen to people who go on and on about what I feel are small details / daily ramblings and I just want to get to the point and get insight into the bottom line.
8. I value consistency and reliability for the most part if it’s someone I care about. Constant lateness does get on my nerves although I’ll forgive them again and again. I generally try to have some kind of routine, and can’t see myself living with someone who does random things at completely random times of the day. In this sense it still gives me some sense of security although my ultimate sense of security comes from more abstract things.
9. I often live in the past, and look to the past with regards to looking at the present and the future, but at the same time I also believe the past does not hold many of the definitive answers that are needed in the present and the future. Times and circumstances, people’s ideas and the world can change fundamentally. That doesn’t mean I’m on board with everything new and progressive, and in fact I fear much of it when it conflicts with what I feel is right. Take AI for example, I just don’t feel it’s right to have something that’s artificially conceived without any biological force of its own to become sentient.
10. As much as I wish I had a single, coherent vision for how things should be, I don’t think I do. It’s rather a loose idea or set of ideas where many details aren’t exactly set in stone, so pretty ad hoc, but I’m pro-marriage and pro-family and centrist / moderately conservative on most social issues, but economically I am socialist and my ideal world is a “global village” in the truest sense. I’m an anarchist at heart and I’m suspicious of higher authority yet I find it difficult to ditch the idea of religion (Christianity) and the idea of a theist god who intervenes altogether. I’m not super hardcore religious but I can only be so comfortable when exploring / dabbling into other religions / folk beliefs.
Still, I’ve never really felt like joining a church or organization and I wouldn’t send my kids to a Christian / Catholic school because I don’t really feel like being boxed in by “their” interpretation / having to follow their rules.
11. I’m not very accommodating of value systems that greatly differ from mine and would avoid people like that whenever possible. I appear calm / courteous most of the time but I am thinking about a lot more, when it comes to both people and things, than others can see. It’s much harder to ask me to explain what I feel / believe as bullet point statements, but much easier for me to open up through asking questions and getting to know me as an individual.
12. I am usually very generous when it comes to helping those in need, and I’ve fallen for more than my fair share of sob stories. I strongly believe in helping but not being seen / not making a show about it because that defeats the purpose. I don’t do it because it’s the”right thing to do”, but rather because I really want to contribute towards that person’s well-being and in a way I do expect results. However, I will be much less inclined to assist if I can’t morally reconcile myself with their cause / their aims.
13. When I am stressed I tend to become extra rigid and controlling and critical even when I don’t make sense at all. Sometimes I have ideas / perceptions that other people don’t really understand and they ask me where I got them from but I can’t fully explain. I’m far from a logical / rational person and feel that those who constantly pride themselves on being logical or rational are in fact blinded to the subjectivities of their own world view and their own feelings.
14. It’s so hard for me to really live in the moment though that’s what I keep saying. My mind is always onto something big or small. I don’t always show it but I have lots of concerns about the future with regards to what I want in my life and the world in general. And I will feel like a failure if I haven’t gone where I want to be. I also blame people for what I feel like were avoidable consequences as a result of what they chose in the past, and I criticize them for their lack of foresight and insight and hindsight. Ultimately I just want to enjoy life at a slower pace.
15. I try to look for deeper meaning even when there’s none or if it’s just pure coincidence. This can lead me to becoming a little superstitious or just having a wandering mind in general.
16. I readily make judgments with regards to what I see around me, with how things are done and how people behave.
1. I do crave interaction with others, but I can spend hours at a time being alone. Socializing with other people can be nice but I really need that alone time or at least time where I can retreat into my little “head space”, usually so I can re-engage better or at least feel a little more balanced. The older I get the more I prefer being alone over being with people who don’t “get” me at all.
2. I often find that expressing myself through words and writing / typing is easier than sending voice messages back and forth. It takes time for me to respond verbally if I’m being asked to do that right away, but if given time to write / type a response I often feel as though I can get my point across better. Still there are other times when I’m perfectly able to express myself verbally and immediately, usually with people who already get me / agree with me on most things, but I often find myself thinking over and over about different ideas and theories or just my imagination going over and over inside me and by the time I feel comfortable enough expressing it to someone, it will have been thought over god knows how many times. And there are others that never make it to the “verbal” front, at least not for a while. My mind’s definitely a lot more active than what people can pick up on.
3. There are times where I first experience something partially or fully before coming to any conclusions, but I’m more likely to feel / judge and come to a conclusion and it will depend on whether the experience (if I delve into it) is sufficient to change my mind somewhat or fully. I judge out of my inherent beliefs and values usually independent of the situation / external circumstances, generally if I have decided on a ‘no’ it remains a ‘no’. I definitely have these beliefs that I can’t really explain, it’s what feels right to me and by extension, what I feel would be good for humanity as a whole. I can’t really tell you why, and it’s not out of “but others are doing it” it’s just what resonates most strongly with me.
4. How I personal feeling with regards to something is valued more deeply than me than finding the universal or objective. This is not to say I don’t look for the universal / objective side to morality / emotions but I can do that better when there’s something personal I can draw from. For example I won’t feel sad over someone’s death just because it’s the end of a life. If I think that person did lots of harm to me or to the world, I think their death’s well deserved, a relief / necessary event if anything.
5. This is not to say I like conflict / stir conflict for the sake of it. I try my best to show a basic level of courtesy and to take the reactions of other people into consideration, especially if they’re someone close to me, but deep down I always try to keep a tab on how I truly feel about a particular situation. I will express my dislike / disdain most frequently through a lack of willingness to engage and do as I’m “supposed” to do, but if really backed into a corner I will either get away from it altogether or stand my ground and push back. I don’t want to hurt anyone for the sake of it, but if I am pushed over and over again, or if I feel there’s a genuine threat to me or a loved one, I feel as though whatever happens to the offender should be at my discretion.
6. I’m very much a rebel. Even when some of my beliefs do happen to align with the “majority”, I don’t feel as though I have to reach that point the same way as many other people do / I don’t feel as though what I want to do with it has to be the same. My biggest fear is not being understood and appreciated for my uniqueness, rather than not being accepted into a “commonality” / “normality.” I seldom, if ever try to express this desire for uniqueness through my outward appearance or statements that start with “I am so and so.” Rather, you have to engage with me and listen to the things I say / I will drop hints of how I feel my thoughts differ from the “majority.” I generally don’t like prolonged restrictions to my freedom of action, movement, or just a general sense of strangers / people I don’t know well and impersonal entities having authority over me.
7. I have a very sharp memory and recall when it comes to details that I choose to pick up. This often surprises people when I demonstrate how much info I can retain accurately. Usually I have to be very interested in something. Then, there are other times where I absolutely, for the life of me, cannot handle simple instructions / small details / small things usually daily things. I can be extremely absent-minded. I often freeze when given a set of instructions related to simple tasks in daily life, it’s like listening to a language from a faraway galaxy. I also get tired when I listen to people who go on and on about what I feel are small details / daily ramblings and I just want to get to the point and get insight into the bottom line.
8. I value consistency and reliability for the most part if it’s someone I care about. Constant lateness does get on my nerves although I’ll forgive them again and again. I generally try to have some kind of routine, and can’t see myself living with someone who does random things at completely random times of the day. In this sense it still gives me some sense of security although my ultimate sense of security comes from more abstract things.
9. I often live in the past, and look to the past with regards to looking at the present and the future, but at the same time I also believe the past does not hold many of the definitive answers that are needed in the present and the future. Times and circumstances, people’s ideas and the world can change fundamentally. That doesn’t mean I’m on board with everything new and progressive, and in fact I fear much of it when it conflicts with what I feel is right. Take AI for example, I just don’t feel it’s right to have something that’s artificially conceived without any biological force of its own to become sentient.
10. As much as I wish I had a single, coherent vision for how things should be, I don’t think I do. It’s rather a loose idea or set of ideas where many details aren’t exactly set in stone, so pretty ad hoc, but I’m pro-marriage and pro-family and centrist / moderately conservative on most social issues, but economically I am socialist and my ideal world is a “global village” in the truest sense. I’m an anarchist at heart and I’m suspicious of higher authority yet I find it difficult to ditch the idea of religion (Christianity) and the idea of a theist god who intervenes altogether. I’m not super hardcore religious but I can only be so comfortable when exploring / dabbling into other religions / folk beliefs.
Still, I’ve never really felt like joining a church or organization and I wouldn’t send my kids to a Christian / Catholic school because I don’t really feel like being boxed in by “their” interpretation / having to follow their rules.
11. I’m not very accommodating of value systems that greatly differ from mine and would avoid people like that whenever possible. I appear calm / courteous most of the time but I am thinking about a lot more, when it comes to both people and things, than others can see. It’s much harder to ask me to explain what I feel / believe as bullet point statements, but much easier for me to open up through asking questions and getting to know me as an individual.
12. I am usually very generous when it comes to helping those in need, and I’ve fallen for more than my fair share of sob stories. I strongly believe in helping but not being seen / not making a show about it because that defeats the purpose. I don’t do it because it’s the”right thing to do”, but rather because I really want to contribute towards that person’s well-being and in a way I do expect results. However, I will be much less inclined to assist if I can’t morally reconcile myself with their cause / their aims.
13. When I am stressed I tend to become extra rigid and controlling and critical even when I don’t make sense at all. Sometimes I have ideas / perceptions that other people don’t really understand and they ask me where I got them from but I can’t fully explain. I’m far from a logical / rational person and feel that those who constantly pride themselves on being logical or rational are in fact blinded to the subjectivities of their own world view and their own feelings.
14. It’s so hard for me to really live in the moment though that’s what I keep saying. My mind is always onto something big or small. I don’t always show it but I have lots of concerns about the future with regards to what I want in my life and the world in general. And I will feel like a failure if I haven’t gone where I want to be. I also blame people for what I feel like were avoidable consequences as a result of what they chose in the past, and I criticize them for their lack of foresight and insight and hindsight. Ultimately I just want to enjoy life at a slower pace.
15. I try to look for deeper meaning even when there’s none or if it’s just pure coincidence. This can lead me to becoming a little superstitious or just having a wandering mind in general.
16. I readily make judgments with regards to what I see around me, with how things are done and how people behave.