I feel like that every time there's someone else in my vicinity. INTJs are very unique and reading this should clear up a few things.
Thanks for the link. The information is very similar to a book titled "Please Understand Me II." I'd post a link to the book, but my post count isn't high enough yet. Anyway, the book has a much more in depth explanation of personality types than what I found on the web. I began reading it right around the time I discovered there was such a thing as personality types. While I was reading it, I LOL'd at pretty much everything as it described me to a T. It definitely helped me to understand myself better.
On a general basis, everyone feels awkward every once and a while.
Personally, I feel awkward amongst most people, even those I have been friends with most of my life.
I agree that the ackwardness isn't unique to INTJ's. I relate to your comment about feeling ackward around people you know. I just don't get it. For example, I'll be with a group of friends and we decide to walk somewhere. When we start walking, they're all walking behind me...and I walk slow! It bugs me because I don't want to be the leader. I'm just gonna ask, point blank, the next time I see them why they do that.
You sound like a typical INTJ from the limited knowledge I have gathered. The test results you got may suggest that you are in fact INXJ. Perhaps you sometimes are low T and close to F. Who knows. All I know is that when I am feeling down I have tested as a different type. I think both of those types you tested as can be socially awkward can't they? but then again so can I on the odd occasion if I don't feel a rapport with someone. Perhaps put your post on the INFJ forum as well and compare notes between the two types.
Hmmm....good point about the INXJ comment. I think you're right....one thing that I've realized about myself is that when it comes to my professional life, I'll have a rational approach to things. I'll strive for good design, efficiency, etc. W/ respect to my personal life, I've learned that I can't always be successful with personal relationships if I approach it rationally and so I rely more on my feelings at that point....or as they say..."listen to my heart" :blushed:
If you're having trouble making just casual friends I suggest finding people that fit your criteria more closely of what you'd like in a friend instead of expecting people you meet to fit it.
I don't disagree as the people I'm around or meet have typically been extroverts. I've ran into a few that I felt were introverts, but haven't ran into them more than once as they rarely go out (like me) :happy:
It has been said elsewhere on the forum that when you take a test you should ask yourself are you answers reflecting you NOW (i.e., recent events are on your mind) or are you answering on a more general basis. If your answers are influence by recent events, that your results may be, too.
This is common for me, too. Of the 5 people (yes, only 5) that I have considered to be very close friends over my life, they were introduced to me or came to me --- I did not break the ice myself at all.
Hard to say anything about this. You mention physical appearance more than once, but also seem to liken physical appearance to your facial expression. We unfortunately live in a global society that mostly labels us based upon the visual image we project. All I can say is you need to be comfortable with yourself and accept yourself. If you get that far, why care about others in this regard? It's their choice and over that you have very little control. Let it go.
In reading over the INTJ threads, you will get the sense -- both playful as well as in seriousness -- that INTJs value the sense of feeling/being different. Do you value this sense that you have? Or does your really contain a meaning of worry and uncomfortableness?
Read and participate. I came to this forum just about 4 months ago to get a better sense of myself. It's been fun and enlightening.
I was answering on a more general basis as I've taken the test when in different moods and have gotten INTJ/INFJ. It's funny that you mention the story about how you met your close friends as I've had the same experience. W/ respect to my physical appearance, I'm happy with it and for the most part don't really care much about what other people think....but I do have my off days where it gets to me :frustrating:.
In regards to feeling/being different, that's what I pride myself on
roud:. I never really followed the crowd but didn't go out of my way to be different. I just aim to be myself...to be true to myself.
Make socializing an "experiment" where you study people and learn how they think; read body language, study their characteristics--- tone of voice, where their gaze goes, their choice of words, etc...
I find, for me anyway, that it takes the edge off when you just see socializing with people as an experiment of sorts. If a "connection" happens, great--- if not, who cares?
I really like this idea and I think I'll use this approach moving forward. Thanks for the suggestion!
Maybe it's a comfort to know that there are others like you. I know it's comforting to me.
Indeed...it is comforting to know this.
I can relate in a few ways. I've also tested as an INFJ at times too. The connection thing may be something where some books on Emotional Intelligence may help to some extent as I know I've been going through a book called "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" that has sections that may cover some of this.
Another thought is to consider if you have some form of Asperger's as there may be social cues you are missing here. I suspect I may have something similar, so I'm just passing it along. There was an assessment I took last year that showed a couple of areas where I have problems and feel it is bad enough to want to fix it: I'm socially inhibited a.k.a. "shy" but also emotionally distant or cold. I can see how I have these and am trying to work my way through them but it isn't easy.
Fi can be a nice function at times and I'll second the comment about this function shining through.
Hmmm...I'm gonna have to read up on Asperger and look into the book as well. I don't doubt I miss social cues. I used to constantly friends of mine that are girls "What does it mean when a girl plays w/ her hair when..." Or I'll have guy friends ask me in shock "Did you just see that?! That girl was doing blah blah blah because blah blah blah..." I'll typically reply with "Huh?!"
In regards to being shy, I was the same way at one point until I came across another INTJ website where a someone posted the following:
"You must do everything that frightens you. Everything. I’m not talking about risking your life, but everything else. Think about fear, decide right now how you’re going to deal with fear, because fear is going to be the great issue of your life, I promise you. Fear will be the fuel for all your success, and the root cause of all your failures, and the underlying dilemma in every story you tell yourself about yourself. And the only chance you’ll have against fear? Follow it. Steer by it. Don’t think of fear as the villain. Think of fear as your guide, your pathfinder..."
Reading that changed my life! I'm not as shy as before and have made more of an effort to break out of my comfort zone. That quote is also one of the reasons why I went sky diving earlier this year :laughing:
