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I don't brag a lot externally, because that would make me look like a wind bag, but internally I think I am the shit and frequently brag to myself inside my head "I'm so sexy" "I'm so awesome" "I'm so smart"

is this a 3 fix thing or is it common of most Id types?
 

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I'm a core 3 and I don't do it all the time. Mainly after I feel like I've genuinely accomplished something and deserve to be recognized for. Or if I'm trying to prep myself up for something. Doing it all the time would be tiresome and actually detract from my focus. Perhaps humility comes from the 6 and 9 fixes .. I'm not exactly sure .. but my self-bragging and self-worth has always been tempered, restrained, focused, controlled --- I would even say I'm internally mostly very silent about how I feel about myself ---- It revs up when I'm motivated, in a position to sell / talk about myself and so on. But the internal chatter is actually constantly focused on what I need to do to get there rather than what I've already done.
 

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I'm a core 3 and I don't do it all the time. Mainly after I feel like I've genuinely accomplished something and deserve to be recognized for. Or if I'm trying to prep myself up for something. Doing it all the time would be tiresome and actually detract from my focus. Perhaps humility comes from the 6 and 9 fixes .. I'm not exactly sure .. but my self-bragging and self-worth has always been tempered, restrained, focused, controlled --- I would even say I'm internally mostly very silent about how I feel about myself ---- It revs up when I'm motivated, in a position to sell / talk about myself and so on. But the internal chatter is actually constantly focused on what I need to do to get there rather than what I've already done.
one 3 from typology central put it well "The difference between 3s and 7s is, 7s don't need a mirror to fall in love with themselves"
 

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one 3 from typology central put it well "The difference between 3s and 7s is, 7s don't need a mirror to fall in love with themselves"
In all honesty, neither do the 3's. But 3's need to accomplish what they set out to accomplish .. and they fall in love with the sense of accomplishment they get from what they do, and not themselves.

The fact that mostly 3's love what they do so much that they end up projecting it in a way that they love themselves - which makes them come across as braggarts ---- That said .. pretty much anyone who talks about their success/achievements is seen as a show-off, egotistical etc etc .. they may actually be very humble underneath.
 

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Might be an Id thing as I do this =P
 

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I don't really fall in love with the sense of accomplishment necessarily, though I do love it. I "fall in love" with the idea that people see me as an achiever or role model. I like to succeed, but I love ​to be seen as an achiever.
And that there might be the 3w2 versus 3w4 difference.
 

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I don't really fall in love with the sense of accomplishment necessarily, though I do love it. I "fall in love" with the idea that people see me as an achiever or role model. I like to succeed, but I love ​to be seen as an achiever.
what @Jawz said
sounds more like a 2w3/3w2 vs 3w4 thing
 

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@mpobrien --- See ... for me, I love to be admired -- but pretty much always there's this nagging voice at the back of my mind going "you're not worthy", "you won't be able to do it", "just stop trying" ...

I have to over-come feelings of worthlessness, fear of failure, before I enter into a venture. But once I'm in, then "nothing can stop me, watch me take over this department as the best damned worker you'll ever see" sort of thing.

The feelings of worthlessness are there from time to time ---- but I don't give myself time to explore those feelings. They're an annoyance. A nuisance to over-come. It's like .. what's the best way to learn how to swim when you don't know how? Jump in the water and give it your best shot! If you never enter the water, you never learn to swim dammit :p

Edit: Though you could possibly drown trying -- so make sure there are lifeguards around!
 

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@Swordsman of Mana I guess that would make sense, seeing as I'm a 3w2 haha.

@mpobrien --- See ... for me, I love to be admired -- but pretty much always there's this nagging voice at the back of my mind going "you're not worthy", "you won't be able to do it", "just stop trying" ...

I have to over-come feelings of worthlessness, fear of failure, before I enter into a venture. But once I'm in, then "nothing can stop me, watch me take over this department as the best damned worker you'll ever see" sort of thing.

The feelings of worthlessness are there from time to time ---- but I don't give myself time to explore those feelings. They're an annoyance. A nuisance to over-come. It's like .. what's the best way to learn how to swim when you don't know how? Jump in the water and give it your best shot! If you never enter the water, you never learn to swim dammit :p
Yeah...I've never really experience any of that before. Ive always been very confident whenever I pursue something, and like you I have that unstoppable force you wrote of.

The thing I really struggle with is the phrase I consider to be the bane of my existence: "Are you worth anything?" After everything I do, and without that nagging voice, I always think "well you've done this and people really responded to it, but what are you worth? They only like you for what you did." Which is what I like to be like for but, but still I think that.

3w4 and 3w2s are much more different than I had thought! Sorry for any typos, I typed this on my phone.
 

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@mpobrien --- See ... for me, I love to be admired -- but pretty much always there's this nagging voice at the back of my mind going "you're not worthy", "you won't be able to do it", "just stop trying" ...

I have to over-come feelings of worthlessness, fear of failure, before I enter into a venture. But once I'm in, then "nothing can stop me, watch me take over this department as the best damned worker you'll ever see" sort of thing.

The feelings of worthlessness are there from time to time ---- but I don't give myself time to explore those feelings. They're an annoyance. A nuisance to over-come. It's like .. what's the best way to learn how to swim when you don't know how? Jump in the water and give it your best shot! If you never enter the water, you never learn to swim dammit :p

Edit: Though you could possibly drown trying -- so make sure there are lifeguards around!

Is this 3 with a 6 fix?
Or maybe it's an Ni thing, because I'm constantly assessing risks. I see all outcomes of putting myself on the line. If the risk is small, I'll go for it. I love success but I HATE failing.
 

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@Swordsman of Mana I guess that would make sense, seeing as I'm a 3w2 haha.



Yeah...I've never really experience any of that before. Ive always been very confident whenever I pursue something, and like you I have that unstoppable force you wrote of.

The thing I really struggle with is the phrase I consider to be the bane of my existence: "Are you worth anything?" After everything I do, and without that nagging voice, I always think "well you've done this and people really responded to it, but what are you worth? They only like you for what you did." Which is what I like to be like for but, but still I think that.

3w4 and 3w2s are much more different than I had thought! Sorry for any typos, I typed this on my phone.
I honestly believe that my experience is what you would hear coming from a grounded 3 who has tasted that sweet feeling of success multiple times and have had it stripped as many times due to life circumstances. That confidence you're talking about right now --- is something I had when I was 22 just before my accident when I was 6 months into my MBA program. I was the king of the world, most popular guy in class, in fact class rep etc etc .. till I had the accident. Then I tasted this level of supreme confidence again right after my first surgery, right after my graduation when I got my first job. MBA+Engaged+Management Trainee at an International business news channel ... dude, I had it all at one point :D And I made it happen again and again till my confidence eroded with each subsequent failure --- till I think I finally broke after my divorce. But I'm coming back up again. It's taken almost a year. But I know I'll be back to that kind of confidence again :) I would be nothing without it.


Is this 3 with a 6 fix?
Or maybe it's an Ni thing, because I'm constantly assessing risks. I see all outcomes of putting myself on the line. If the risk is small, I'll go for it. I love success but I HATE failing.
It's a combination of all of the above imo. The 6 definitely makes a 3 much more realistic. But the thing is that for a 3 core, success is always > than security --- plus honestly, INTJ's are a bit more pragmatic to begin with.

Here's the 369 Triad description. I know you'd be able to relate to this as much as I did:

369 Mediator Archetype

369


She said this is the type most likely to be able to be the chameleon and will be able to adjust themselves according to whomever they are around. Having the 3 relating types and the 3 primary types they can have the most difficulty pinpointing not only their tritype but their dominant strategy. She said they will almost always think they are 3s, because they will value success and will be inclined to adjust to fit a given situation. She said they need to stay engaged and have harmony to feel happy which is what causes the constant adjustment.


They are most likely to fit into the cultural millieu of what is expected of them but that their life mission is to bring harmony and she calls this the true mediator archetype. She said they can be so focused on fitting in and belonging that they lose themeselves and forget to speak their personal truths for fear of not relating to others.


The 369 needs to adjust to feel seen, safe and peaceful.


You have all three Bonders Enneacards
(Enneagram Types: 3, 6 & 9) in your Enneaspread.
Your emotional energy goes towards seeking attachments with ideas and others. You want to be bonded to people. You also want to create balance and are uncomfortable with extremes. You tend to see relationships as a part of yourself. Overall, you are positively identified with others and may have amnesia for the more difficult or negative aspects of your relationships.


I was asked the differences between the 361, the 368 and the 369 tritypes. Since the question is which gut type is dominant. At a glance, it is most helpful to look at activity levels. The 361 is very industrious and busy doing to avoid anxiety, the 1 brings a need to do what is morally correct. The 368 is focused on fighting for justice, the 8 brings a need to overcome and prevail. The 369 is highly adaptable and focused on being in comfortable alignment with others.
 

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It's a combination of all of the above imo. The 6 definitely makes a 3 much more realistic. But the thing is that for a 3 core, success is always > than security --- plus honestly, INTJ's are a bit more pragmatic to begin with.

Here's the 369 Triad description. I know you'd be able to relate to this as much as I did:
That passage is actually a good argument for me being a 361.
 

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That passage is actually a good argument for me being a 361.
Interesting, my dad's an ESTJ 361 imo [and I typed him based on this Tritype description mainly]. He has a relatively strong perfectionist, very driven motivated and has all the core 3 qualities --- but where he and I differ is that even though I uphold his morals/values ---- I am not as moralistic as he is --- not even close. I can break rules and step on toes to get what I want. He on the other hand has never broken a single rule in his life and he prides himself on that - in fact, it's one of his primary goals in life to be seen as the most successful project managers -- but someone who got there ethically, without breaking any rules. Which has meant that he has given up on a lot of opportunities for material gain whenever they conflicted with his morals. I'm the same way --- but not as much. I'm more about doing things to keep the peace and maintain harmony. I can break the rules as long as no one knows about it. He can't break rules [period].
 

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Interesting, my dad's an ESTJ 361 imo [and I typed him based on this Tritype description mainly]. He has a relatively strong perfectionist, very driven motivated and has all the core 3 qualities --- but where he and I differ is that even though I uphold his morals/values ---- I am not as moralistic as he is --- not even close. I can break rules and step on toes to get what I want. He on the other hand has never broken a single rule in his life and he prides himself on that - in fact, it's one of his primary goals in life to be seen as the most successful project managers -- but someone who got there ethically, without breaking any rules. Which has meant that he has given up on a lot of opportunities for material gain whenever they conflicted with his morals. I'm the same way --- but not as much. I'm more about doing things to keep the peace and maintain harmony. I can break the rules as long as no one knows about it. He can't break rules [period].

Oh I will step on some toes alright. Breaking rules is hard for me, unless it's a horrifically stupid rule. I will have to look into it this more closely.
 

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I have something to confess as an allegedly very humble, sometimes self-effacing 9. When I was younger and on my first journey into integrating into a 3, I used to tell myself in my head how amazing and wonderful and awesome I am. I used it as a tool to build my confidence, actually to project confidence to others in order to seem like less of a pushover. I wanted to be seen as someone who had their shit together, so I would literally walk around feeding myself all sorts of compliments in order to get my confidence up. I also did this directly after a harsh breakup in order to not seem so downtrodden around work. However this is not a common thought process for me, and thoughI am once again moving up in levels of health, I haven't reverted back to this behavior. I'll have to give it a think as to why I haven't started doing it again actually.
 
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