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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been dating this girl for a year and a half. I knew right away that she was NTP, but I could never figure out the E or the I for certain.

We think so much alike, we can complete each other's thoughts, etc.

She is definitely more socially extroverted than me. Not shy and I envy her ability to carry on a conversation with someone she doesn't know, or not even particularly like.

It would be easy to say ENTP, except if you go down the list of ENTP traits, I don't see them in her. I've never seen her debate. She isn't brimming with ideas (That's more me). She has trouble bringing what ideas she does have to life (that seems like more of an INTP trait). She's not exactly optimistic and enthusiastic. Kinda pessimistic. She says she loves alone time (I won't even say I love alone time-- I do like having people around, but of course I need my space). The few times she's gotten angry with me are the only time she's withdrawn from me- that seems more INTP, or at least type 9.

But then if you go down the list of INTP traits, they aren't all apparent either. But a lot of INTP traits are 'in your head' and not observable. Still though, reading the threads in the INTP forum about socializing, and they all sound more like me and not like her.

A few more things about her: she likes to shop, likes to cook, she likes logic puzzles. And she can talk a lot. She seems like she can blend in with SJs with ease (she can use Fe fairly well, but it's in a studied way, not natural). Another difference between the two of use is she will take on too much and then get totally stressed, while I'll avoid taking on too much.

Does she sound ENTP?
 

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Well since there are only two given options here, I would say that there's a good possibility that she's ENTP. Haha :tongue:

I'm not an expert on typing, but some of the things you mentioned I can relate to similarly.

What stood out for me was when you mentioned that she is socially extroverted, but she loves alone time. E appears to exist quite naturally whereas I is a pleasure. What is more pleasurable for you, as an INTP?

There is too much formal emphasis on the word "debate" that I don't care to use it. Argumentative is a better choice imo. Does she like to play devil's advocate? Does she act like a smart ass?

To me, Ne = optimism and Si = pessimism. I am a cynical person, but there is a complete difference in the way I project my cynicism depending on whether I am stressed or not. Enthusiasm is more of a dynamic state that comes and goes with the smell of newness in the air (meaningful conversations fit in there too).

There's more to talk about but I'm about to get off of work. In the end it comes down to whether Ti is subservient to Ne or the other way around. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
What stood out for me was when you mentioned that she is socially extroverted, but she loves alone time. E appears to exist quite naturally whereas I is a pleasure. What is more pleasurable for you, as an INTP?
It really depends on the day, and on the company. I can have too much alone time and want to be with people. But I'd rather be in my head than socializing with some people, while socializing with others is more pleasurable than being in my head.
She SAYS she loves alone time. But usually if she's alone, she's talking to me, and vise versa. She doesn't usually drain me, and I'm guessing I don't drain her.

There is too much formal emphasis on the word "debate" that I don't care to use it. Argumentative is a better choice imo. Does she like to play devil's advocate? Does she act like a smart ass?
Devil's advocate- not so much. if she argues (rarely) for something, it's defending an opinion.
Smart Ass - sometimes. It's not her default way of behaving. I'm guessing she does it around people she knows won't mind.

To me, Ne = optimism and Si = pessimism. I am a cynical person, but there is a complete difference in the way I project my cynicism depending on whether I am stressed or not. Enthusiasm is more of a dynamic state that comes and goes with the smell of newness in the air (meaningful conversations fit in there too).

There's more to talk about but I'm about to get off of work. In the end it comes down to whether Ti is subservient to Ne or the other way around. Good luck.
Right. That is hard to tell. Ti is harder to spot being an introverted function. Ne isn't always on display. But when it comes to figuring something out- same conclusion, same thought process as me.
 

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Is it possible she isn't an NTP? Give some reasons why you think she's NTP. Also, has she taken a test? I know tests aren't conclusive to any degree but they can be helpful of course.
 

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Is it possible she isn't an NTP? Give some reasons why you think she's NTP. Also, has she taken a test? I know tests aren't conclusive to any degree but they can be helpful of course.
thats what i was thinking
she sounds like an ENFP to me

if she argues (rarely) for something, it's defending an opinion.


Yeah ENFP
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Is it possible she isn't an NTP? Give some reasons why you think she's NTP. Also, has she taken a test? I know tests aren't conclusive to any degree but they can be helpful of course.
she tests ENTP. She thinks I'm the same type as her. I think the tests are testing for social extroversion rather than the true Jungian meaning.

I have considered other types. ESTP & ISTP. She doesn't really match those descriptions either and I don't see much Se in her. Also thought maybe ENTJ, but that doesn't seem right either.

Is there something in the description that suggested a particular type to you?
 

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she tests ENTP. She thinks I'm the same type as her. I think the tests are testing for social extroversion rather than the true Jungian meaning.

I have considered other types. ESTP & ISTP. She doesn't really match those descriptions either and I don't see much Se in her. Also thought maybe ENTJ, but that doesn't seem right either.

Is there something in the description that suggested a particular type to you?
Well, girls can be more talkative than boys, which may make them seem more extroverted, because they learn this in their environment.

Also-- What I'm wondering is her personal habits with her work. Is she very organized, and likes to have a cohesive, whole piece of work? Does she flit around from task to task?

Have lots of hobbies, and maybe one main hobby that she's absorbed in at any given time, and then she'll jump onto the next thing?

I can definitely have introverted qualities, but I get the impression that INTPs are more pensive, and have a tendency to have a more in-depth view of their subjects. I think? I'm not really well-versed in typing.

A tendency towards conflict avoidance might be an indicator that she's not ENTP.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, girls can be more talkative than boys, which may make them seem more extroverted, because they learn this in their environment.
yes, I had wondered about that. I think her mom might be ESFJ, which taught her how to socialize well. My mother is an awkward ENFP who I'd see get into trouble again and again for speaking without thinking. I think that contributed to my shyness.
Some of our other differences are stereotypical sex differences. IE she loves to shop, me not so much.

Also-- What I'm wondering is her personal habits with her work. Is she very organized, and likes to have a cohesive, whole piece of work? Does she flit around from task to task?
she seems to do good job at whatever it is she's doing, and tries to be organized. Key word being tries. Her car is always a mess. When she has to accomplish something on a deadline, like say packing for a trip. She seems to spin her wheels for hours and finally get done at the last minute.

Have lots of hobbies, and maybe one main hobby that she's absorbed in at any given time, and then she'll jump onto the next thing?
Yes, she does bounce from interest to interest. Then again so do I.

I can definitely have introverted qualities, but I get the impression that INTPs are more pensive, and have a tendency to have a more in-depth view of their subjects. I think? I'm not really well-versed in typing.
Yes, pretty much. She does seem to analyze people. I don't know how much time she spends doing that kind of stuff.

A tendency towards conflict avoidance might be an indicator that she's not ENTP.
She seems conflict avoidant with me. With others she seems to go after them. I think enneagram she is probably a 9, but not a clearly-defined 9. That lead me to think INTPs, but I see there are type 9 ENTPs too.
 

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She seems conflict avoidant with me. With others she seems to go after them. I think enneagram she is probably a 9, but not a clearly-defined 9. That lead me to think INTPs, but I see there are type 9 ENTPs too.
As an enneagram 9 ENTP I promise I'll debate the shit out of anyone who will let me, if they get angry though I'll back the fuck down, and I will pay attention to their emotions (but still probably take it that moment longer than I should). I love debate but also consider myself conflict avoidant, it's "arguments" specifically that I avoid, anything that could get nasty or negative.

I have an INTP E5 ex, the difference between the two of us was quite marked, we were eerie similar in how we approached things so never needed to explain our thinking to each other but I was definitely the one dragging him out of the house to go somewhere, do something. I love my alone time but when with others I get bored staying at home doing nothing, I need to be around stimulation.

As you expect, ENTP E9 is not at all a common combination, in regards to her enneagram consider 5 and 6 as possibilities, the 9/5 mix can feel similar to a 9/9 one imo, both are very independent of each other. I have a strong 7 influence but even just the E9 and ENTP on its own would be a vision of optimism and possibilities. Comparing your dynamics here may help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
As an enneagram 9 ENTP I promise I'll debate the shit out of anyone who will let me, if they get angry though I'll back the fuck down, and I will pay attention to their emotions (but still probably take it that moment longer than I should). I love debate but also consider myself conflict avoidant, it's "arguments" specifically that I avoid, anything that could get nasty or negative.
Makes sense because many people can't debate dispassionately

I have an INTP E5 ex, the difference between the two of us was quite marked, we were eerie similar in how we approached things so never needed to explain our thinking to each other but I was definitely the one dragging him out of the house to go somewhere, do something. I love my alone time but when with others I get bored staying at home doing nothing, I need to be around stimulation.
we don't have this dynamic

As you expect, ENTP E9 is not at all a common combination, in regards to her enneagram consider 5 and 6 as possibilities, the 9/5 mix can feel similar to a 9/9 one imo, both are very independent of each other. I have a strong 7 influence but even just the E9 and ENTP on its own would be a vision of optimism and possibilities. Comparing your dynamics here may help.
I have looked at 5, don't really see it. I've looked at 7. Haven't looked at 6 enough, maybe I should. I've seen that matrix, and 9/9 could be us.
 

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Take her clothes off. Examine her breasts carefully. Ponder wistfully about the merciless toll Father Time takes upon the ephemeral nature of feminine beauty. Turn your back and walk away from her while shaking your head. Accuse her of trying to "ruin our relationship" when she whines about your behavior. Tell her "I need some time alone", and that you hope she "understands". Take a lot of LSD and trip for approximately two days. Wind up in the American Midwest, and get arrested by local police. Call your girlfriend to bail you out. Tell her it's "your fault for leaving me".

I guarantee this will make her love you even more.


...


Who cares about what type she is? You're boning her (I'm assuming), both of you are happy enough, it's just a silly little test. Your obsession with it is a turnoff.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Take her clothes off. Examine her breasts carefully. Ponder wistfully about the merciless toll Father Time takes upon the ephemeral nature of feminine beauty. Turn your back and walk away from her while shaking your head. Accuse her of trying to "ruin our relationship" when she whines about your behavior. Tell her "I need some time alone", and that you hope she "understands". Take a lot of LSD and trip for approximately two days. Wind up in the American Midwest, and get arrested by local police. Call your girlfriend to bail you out. Tell her it's "your fault for leaving me".

I guarantee this will make her love you even more.


...


Who cares about what type she is? You're boning her (I'm assuming), both of you are happy enough, it's just a silly little test. Your obsession with it is a turnoff.
We've had a happy year and a half together without me knowing the answer to this, so it isn't like it detracts from the relationship. I'm curious.
 

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I think this is where MBTI fails. Enneagram will guide you better. Also, your girlfriend sounds a bit like mine. She's ENFP.
 

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Did you tell her you were INTP before she took the test?
She might have biased her results to impress you.

*Winky face*
 

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Have you considered entj or intj? I assume you'd recognize a fellow NT vs NF since they won't talk about how important it is to be themselves.

Sometimes, being confronted with our complimentary functions puts us in a place where things seem very in sync, but if you dig deeper, they come from completely different places. However, your initial perception would have her as mysterious and interesting, which you don't seem to be saying.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 · (Edited)
I think this is where MBTI fails. Enneagram will guide you better. Also, your girlfriend sounds a bit like mine. She's ENFP.
even nailing down her enneagram isn't easy. I think maybe 9. What about her sounds ENFP? She doesn't have that 'people are so interesting' attitude that is typical of ENFPs.

Did you tell her you were INTP before she took the test?
She might have biased her results to impress you.

*Winky face*
no. She doesn't believe I'm INTP. In particular she doesn't believe I'm shy. Well when I'm with her, she breaks the ice for me with other people and I can talk to them with ease, so she hasn't really seen my shy side.



Have you considered entj or intj? I assume you'd recognize a fellow NT vs NF since they won't talk about how important it is to be themselves.
I have. From the NTJs I've observed, they often carry an air of intellectual superiority. Maybe I'm stereotyping, but I don't see that in her. I also don't see Te and Fi.

Isn't it more the NFPs who talk about being yourself? Anyway, she's hardly an idealist. But the axis I'm most sure of is T vs F

Sometimes, being confronted with our complimentary functions puts us in a place where things seem very in sync, but if you dig deeper, they come from completely different places. However, your initial perception would have her as mysterious and interesting, which you don't seem to be saying.
well she is interesting. Mysterious- I suppose somewhat.
Some sources say that ENTJ is the best match for an INTP. That seems like a terrible combo, but maybe I am stereotyping ENTJs. I'll read up on that type again.

EDIT: Read through the ENTJ forum and several profiles. It's safe to say that isn't her type.
 

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Funny, I identify with every description that you've given of her. Maybe my friends thinking that I am possibly ENFP or ENTP Isn't so bogus afterall.

The thing with me though is that one of my favorite things to do is to sit back and watch people intermingle kind of like a skit and then laugh at them when they say or do silly things. I'm also unafraid to share my opinion any moment of any day.
 

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I have looked at 5, don't really see it. I've looked at 7. Haven't looked at 6 enough, maybe I should. I've seen that matrix, and 9/9 could be us.
The difference between 9 and 6 is the difference between optimist and pessimist, err-sorry *realist*.

Sixes and Nines are a common mistype, especially as Sixes do not always appear to be anxious, and Nines sometimes do. Nines tend to be trusting however, and often believe that somehow "everything will work out." This is the opposite orientation to the Six who is prone to suspicion of others' motives and tends to worry about the future. Sixes tend to think that Nines have "buried their heads in the sand." Nines tend to think that Sixes should mellow out.
They really should mellow out! :wink:


This site explains the levels of development and how things flow in a simple easy to identify manner imo.

Compare it to the 9 one and see which one makes her go "shit! :shocked:" when reading the unhealthy levels.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
The difference between 9 and 6 is the difference between optimist and pessimist, err-sorry *realist*.



They really should mellow out! :wink:


This site explains the levels of development and how things flow in a simple easy to identify manner imo.

Compare it to the 9 one and see which one makes her go "shit! :shocked:" when reading the unhealthy levels.
Thanks, I do see a lot of her in that six description. Not so much in other 6 descriptions.

Hell some of six sounds like me too, but so does 9, and 5

Now I'm even more confused than when I started this thread! :p
 
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