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Discussion Starter #1
I've been interested romantically in a very close guy friend of mine who is an INFJ (I'm an INFP.) I feel like he might be interested in me, but he's very difficult to read (as most INFJs are from what I hear.) He sits by me a lot and seems to be physically near me often, and he's been making more and more eye contact recently. He seems to be especially protective of me (although that could just be because he cares about me as a friend.) Something that confuses me though, is that when we're hanging out in a group he is pretty talkative and jokes a lot, but when him and I are left alone he becomes really quiet. We did have a few deep conversations where he opened up to me about things going on in his life. But other times there seems to be an awkward silence between us. Could this be because he is nervous or doesn't want to say the wrong thing? Or is he just not interested? Maybe its because we're both introverts who don't know how to make small talk xD
He is also always fidgety when around me and seems low-key kind of nervous. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to reply and help me figure him out!
 

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Well @shyartist you might get more responses in this thread and a lot more help than myself http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/64061-ask-infj-relationship-question-thread.html

As for what you've said so if your positive they are a INFJ sitting near you, making eye contact, and being nervous I'd say they are interested in you but can't say if its more as a close friend or more. Others and myself can offer suggestions about him but the only way to know is if you end up asking him how he feels about you.
 

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According to what you have said, I would say he is into you. Many times, it is easier for us to be talkative in group of friends. Conversations are never deep, so we just play along and try to be witty.
When left alone with someone we like, we will become nervous. Tell me, can you elaborate a bit more how the conversation between you and him is flowing when alone?
From personal experience, if I liked someone, I would initiate conversation. It would be some stupid joke or open-minded question. Soon after, we would have it going.
 

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Yeah he could throw small talk your way when alone but as an INFJ that's kinda fake. Sounds like he's waiting for you to initiate conversation. Try talking about a problem you have to get things flowing but beware he'll want to help even if he's not into you, though will be nice for him if you then ask how he's feeling.

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Yeah he could throw small talk your way when alone but as an INFJ that's kinda fake. Sounds like he's waiting for you to initiate conversation. Try talking about a problem you have to get things flowing but beware he'll want to help even if he's not into you, though will be nice for him if you then ask how he's feeling.

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How do you mean it is "kinda fake"?
 

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I just use small talk to fit in & find it really boring. Though if I've not spoken to anyone for a few days it's nice to 'catch up'. When speaking with someone 1 on 1 small talk is beyond useless & I just end up seeing that person as not so sentient.
Although there are differences between INFJ's, like I don't like reading books.

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That fact that he is your friend, talks more in a crowd, and cannot talk to you one-on-one shows a significant difference in typical INFJ behaviour.

If I was in his position, I will most probably feel afraid that I may lose your friendship (as it is normal) and may feel as though I'm not enough for you - since you are both friends and that you know who he really is. So I guess that must be what he feels.

But do try to make him feel comfortable. Try to understand his position and your very own. Try to fit in but still be open.

You could always be friends if it isn't love. But love comes in many forms. Maybe it always had been love. So accept that and let it all go and let it flow! :)
 

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Careful of abusing the need of the INFJ to help as if his needs aren't met, in the end it won't last. Speaking from experience.
Be yourself & give him space now & again. Treat him as an exposed nerve with an iron will.

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
@Lord Steva Sometimes we try to make small talk (how was your day, how was work, he'll ask about the classes I'm taking, etc.) other times we're both pretty much silent (for me its because my mind goes blank with things to talk about) and every now and then we end up having a deep conversation (we've both had experiences with anxiety and depression in the past and that's something we connect with, we're also both pretty artistic/creative.) We hung out last night with one other mutual friend, and as we were leaving to go somewhere he offered me his jacket because it was cold out. I've never seen him do that for any of our other friends (some of which are girls) could this mean anything? I've never really had a guy offer me his jacket so it took me a bit by surprise and my instinct response was telling him I'd be okay rather than taking it because I didn't want him to get cold.... Hopefully I didn't send the wrong signals with that one... even though its a small deal. I overthink everything so naturally I blew this one out of proportion in my head xD (sorry for how rambled and messy this post was :p )
 

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@shyartist

Well, if he offered his jacket, he respects you and you are certainly playing a role in his life.

When i am with somebody close to me, i will not even ask if it they are cold. I would just take it off and mantle them. (If I've just met someone, I will offer them too, but will wait for them to answer). He might me way more reserved than I am, but still, it is a good sign.

It is no big deal. He will offer you his jacket again next time, I am sure.

If you really want to be in a relationship with him, look out for the clues he is sending. He is probably too scared to make the first move.
 

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My take...
Chivalry is like 2nd nature for INFJ unless he could see you were not a nice person.
Deffo would not make the first move, even if you were really close for years & then you'd be lucky get a text telling you his true feelings. Maybe that's why we lean towards extroverts.

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