[GoldenDawn]

Hello dear fellow INFP's

I hope anyone can relate to my story... and give me some unterstanding... because I feel I really lost my way. Well here it goes.. I never have had much self esteem. But now it seems worse then ever. In september I start this new study at the art acedemy. I have done this study already but I quited in the first year, because I felt so terribly bad about myself I coudn't go further. Now I start again in september. And I feel I'm not ready again... I feel like I don't acomplish much. I don't like myself much, I don't who I am. I feel like I should be doing a lot more. Have a lot more hobbies. I also have the feeling I should be better at a lot things. So I feel so passive... I get frustrated and melancholy about myself and my life. I don't feel worthy... I want to do a lot of things, and be free. But I feel so trapped in side myself. I know this sounds cliche but this is how I feel. I feel never happy about my ''sitiation'' about myself, my relations, my identity. Mabye this also hase to do with my enneagram type... I'm tested as 4w3. Are there any other 4w3'/INFP's how feel this way, or who hase gone through feelings like this?

GoldenDawn

 

[Cyberbear]

Don't worry, it's common roud: Been there, done that and probably will do it again soon

 

[GoldenDawn]

how are you now then? How does your life look like? Deep in my heart I know I don't have it all that bad... but it's just that feeling... a little voice that tells me... I'm nobody... I almost start crying when writhing this.

 

[Isildin]

I quit school when i was, i dunno, 20?
Now im 24, and im moving in with a pair of extroverts on the other side of the country and going to do an education that will require me to stand in front of a classroom.

I never feel like im good enough either, but that's what life is i guess. Just a long hard road of self-improvement.
And in the case of school, if your classmates would all be good enough, what would be the point in going to school in the first place? It's to learn, to experience, to improve yourself.

... the above realization does not make me any less scared, it's just that the alternative of NOT doing what i like, scares me all the more.

 

[GoldenDawn]

[/QUOTE]I never feel like im good enough either, but that's what life is i guess. Just a long hard road of self-improvement.
And in the case of school, if your classmates would all be good enough, what would be the point in going to school in the first place? It's to learn, to experience, to improve yourself.

... the above realization does not make me any less scared, it's just that the alternative of NOT doing what i like, scares me all the more.[/QUOTE]




Your right about self improvement... but for who? For myself to make me feel good about myself? What's the meaning of all of this... I have so my choices I can make... And thank you for replaying by the way. Your right if everbody was so good already there is no point of going to school indeed. That a good thought to keep in mind.

Do you also wonder a lot how people see you? Or are you pretty sure about yourself. I wish I was the last. These doubts make me so sad. I wish I would be better with my drawings, and played more piano. I want to know and read more. Do more a sport and be more social... Those last things are the hardest I think for me, cause I've never been really sportive or social...I have to come out of my comfort zone. Do something crazy. Do you also have thoughts like this? How is your education of becoming a teacher? What kind of teacher are you going to be? I'm just curious and I hope I make some sense with this all...

 

[bobdaduck]

Introversion means we get our energy from ourselves. It means that, if we choose to, the only person who's opinion of us matters, is ourselves. If we turn our thoughts inward, and realize just how strong our strengths are, we can accomplish amazing things. No one can stop us. Low self esteem is a choice.

 

[Isildin]

I never feel like im good enough either, but that's what life is i guess. Just a long hard road of self-improvement.
And in the case of school, if your classmates would all be good enough, what would be the point in going to school in the first place? It's to learn, to experience, to improve yourself.

... the above realization does not make me any less scared, it's just that the alternative of NOT doing what i like, scares me all the more.[/QUOTE]




Your right about self improvement... but for who? For myself to make me feel good about myself? What's the meaning of all of this... I have so my choices I can make... And thank you for replaying by the way. Your right if everbody was so good already there is no point of going to school indeed. That a good thought to keep in mind.

Do you also wonder a lot how people see you? Or are you pretty sure about yourself. I wish I was the last. These doubts make me so sad. I wish I would be better with my drawings, and played more piano. I want to know and read more. Do more a sport and be more social... Those last things are the hardest I think for me, cause I've never been really sportive or social...I have to come out of my comfort zone. Do something crazy. Do you also have thoughts like this? How is your education of becoming a teacher? What kind of teacher are you going to be? I'm just curious and I hope I make some sense with this all...[/QUOTE]

Maybe for yourself, maybe for loved ones, for your future children, pick your poison
I want to be a teacher, because i think education is one of the most important things you can help anyone with, even if its just history class
And i've learned that even though i'm awkward and weird, and not that comfortable around people, im even less comfortable doing some job where social interaction is not at all required, where people ignore eachother and just do their job for 8 hours and are mostly miserable about it.

I am not at all sure about myself, i have had no idea what i wanted to be when i grew up, all i knew was that i wanted to help people atleast.And now i feel like i wasted 8 years being unemployed and working crappy jobs in between.

I'm kind of cheating now anyways, im moving in with 2 of my friends who are complete extroverts and have a tendency to drag me around screaming until i have fun

 

[Cyberbear]

how are you now then? How does your life look like? Deep in my heart I know I don't have it all that bad... but it's just that feeling... a little voice that tells me... I'm nobody... I almost start crying when writhing this.

The bad feeling just disappears by itself. I usually spend a day listening to nothing but Social Distortion discography on repeat when I'm down with myself. "Story Of My Life" and "Reach For The Sky" are good songs for healing for example. But that's just my personal treatment for such feelings. And when they're gone (usually on the next day) I slowly pull myself together and find something useful to do. But I've noticed that the older I get (26, turning 27) it's harder to cope with my bad feelings on my own. But there's not too many people I can actually talk with for hour when my bad feeling reaches the boiling point. Anyway - the key is to suffer first and then just throw it out.

 

[wanderingone]

So i really want to reply to this because i can totally relate to you, but i can't imagine what to say that would bring you any greater understanding. my own understanding of it came only after experience, regardless of what i read or what advice i was given, but i suppose all that stuff always sticks in the back of the mind somewhere, subtly reminding. i've already started writing a couple times and deleted everything because i'm not really sure how to approach what i'm thinking. i guess i'll say that i used to feel exactly as you do (back when i was college, and for a short time after), but i don't anymore. for me i guess it was about discovering that the things i like about myself, and the things that i feel confident about, don't really fit in with the wider expectation. so until i stopped comparing myself to other peoples ideals, i didn't really have a grasp of what my own ideals were.
so, what do people like us have to feel confident about? we feel everything, we can see everything, we're interested in everything. the universe is intense and beautiful and it's all worth exploring. but, by having such diverse interests, we can only focus so much of ourselves in any given direction. i feel like it's the business of other types to buckle down for years and years and become experts in some field or another. we have the rare blessing/curse of being able to see the big picture, and that means we don't ever feel content tying ourselves to one particular corner of it. these days i'm happiest living moment to moment, without a greater plan for the future, and without some kind of official recognition of expertise. instead i'm the one that can adapt to anything, solve any problem, understand any unexpected surprises, empathize with everyone, see the best in everything and the way to make everything better. materially i've accomplished very little, but i know that i touch the lives of the people i meet and do my tiny part to make people happier.

so if you're going back to school then make the best of it! treat it as just one more experience and a chance to express yourself. it doesn't have to be the end all be all of your identity, that's what your soul is for :happy: no matter where you go and what you do, you'll still just be you, so figure out what that is and make it great, and don't worry about how you're perceived or recognized. you know within what you're doing for the world, so do what's significant in your own head and it will satisfy you!

 

[soul]

Hello dear fellow INFP's

I hope anyone can relate to my story... and give me some unterstanding... because I feel I really lost my way. Well here it goes.. I never have had much self esteem. But now it seems worse then ever. In september I start this new study at the art acedemy. I have done this study already but I quited in the first year, because I felt so terribly bad about myself I coudn't go further. Now I start again in september. And I feel I'm not ready again... I feel like I don't acomplish much. I don't like myself much, I don't who I am. I feel like I should be doing a lot more. Have a lot more hobbies. I also have the feeling I should be better at a lot things. So I feel so passive... I get frustrated and melancholy about myself and my life. I don't feel worthy... I want to do a lot of things, and be free. But I feel so trapped in side myself. I know this sounds cliche but this is how I feel. I feel never happy about my ''sitiation'' about myself, my relations, my identity. Mabye this also hase to do with my enneagram type... I'm tested as 4w3. Are there any other 4w3'/INFP's how feel this way, or who hase gone through feelings like this?

GoldenDawn

I feel exactly the same deep inside. But nobody knows.

 

[SomethingDifferent]

I can definitely relate. In fact I still don't feel so great about my own self-esteem, but I am still trying to improve on that. I think experience will definitely take us further. Things we do which may also have an effect on how we feel, people we meet who may give us new or different insights... I'd say I have gone far than where I have been years ago when I never did anything much. Such feelings may come back attacking me again saying I'm not good in this and that, but to keep going with what we're doing, what we feel like doing, I believe it will definitely lead you somewhere better. roud:

 

[GoldenDawn]

Introversion means we get our energy from ourselves. It means that, if we choose to, the only person who's opinion of us matters, is ourselves. If we turn our thoughts inward, and realize just how strong our strengths are, we can accomplish amazing things. No one can stop us. Low self esteem is a choice.

Thank you for replaying. I must say that this is a whole new perspective for me. I never thought of it this way. I'll keep this in mind. But I don't know if low self esteem is a choice. There are more influences then only my own thoughts about myself. But I think it's defintily a big influence. And sorry to you all by the way for my poor english. It's not my first language.

 

[GoldenDawn]

The bad feeling just disappears by itself. I usually spend a day listening to nothing but Social Distortion discography on repeat when I'm down with myself. "Story Of My Life" and "Reach For The Sky" are good songs for healing for example. But that's just my personal treatment for such feelings. And when they're gone (usually on the next day) I slowly pull myself together and find something useful to do. But I've noticed that the older I get (26, turning 27) it's harder to cope with my bad feelings on my own. But there's not too many people I can actually talk with for hour when my bad feeling reaches the boiling point. Anyway - the key is to suffer first and then just throw it out.

You are right about that feeling dispairing... I must say that I feel much better then yesterday. I did listing to those songs and I felt the positive engery from it. It made me also listing to other bright minded songs. I personally like the song ''Wanderlust' and ''Nightquest'' from Nightwish. I like it especially from their lyrics. But most of the time when I'm feeling very down, I only listen to music that actually makes me feel more depressed. I don't know why sometimes very happy music is making more more sad...

And i've talked with my bf about it and we can talk very well, he unterstands me... (he's an INFJ). He has struggles with the same feelings as me.

 

[GoldenDawn]

So i really want to reply to this because i can totally relate to you, but i can't imagine what to say that would bring you any greater understanding. my own understanding of it came only after experience, regardless of what i read or what advice i was given, but i suppose all that stuff always sticks in the back of the mind somewhere, subtly reminding. i've already started writing a couple times and deleted everything because i'm not really sure how to approach what i'm thinking. i guess i'll say that i used to feel exactly as you do (back when i was college, and for a short time after), but i don't anymore. for me i guess it was about discovering that the things i like about myself, and the things that i feel confident about, don't really fit in with the wider expectation. so until i stopped comparing myself to other peoples ideals, i didn't really have a grasp of what my own ideals were.
so, what do people like us have to feel confident about? we feel everything, we can see everything, we're interested in everything. the universe is intense and beautiful and it's all worth exploring. but, by having such diverse interests, we can only focus so much of ourselves in any given direction. i feel like it's the business of other types to buckle down for years and years and become experts in some field or another. we have the rare blessing/curse of being able to see the big picture, and that means we don't ever feel content tying ourselves to one particular corner of it. these days i'm happiest living moment to moment, without a greater plan for the future, and without some kind of official recognition of expertise. instead i'm the one that can adapt to anything, solve any problem, understand any unexpected surprises, empathize with everyone, see the best in everything and the way to make everything better. materially i've accomplished very little, but i know that i touch the lives of the people i meet and do my tiny part to make people happier.

so if you're going back to school then make the best of it! treat it as just one more experience and a chance to express yourself. it doesn't have to be the end all be all of your identity, that's what your soul is for :happy: no matter where you go and what you do, you'll still just be you, so figure out what that is and make it great, and don't worry about how you're perceived or recognized. you know within what you're doing for the world, so do what's significant in your own head and it will satisfy you!

I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts and vision with me. To all of you who replayed actually! It makes me feel more oke, and less bad now I know other people are dealing with the same kind ''problems''.

You made me realize how it is to be INFP... being able to see the big picture, and it's true that we don't ever feel contact by tying our self to one aspec of it. It's true i recognize it within myself. I have so many interessts so many things that get me. And I am not a person who focuss on only one interesst and make that great and important. All is scatterd...But know I can see there is nothing wrong with that. I don't need to life for only one interesst, one carrier..

Mabye I'm a bit lost for words...you advice and the rest... I don't know, Its just from people who seem to unterstand it better, even though you never med me. Even you don't know me in real life. That touches me. Really. So thank you all, and I'll keep all your advices in my mind.

 

[GoldenDawn]

I can definitely relate. In fact I still don't feel so great about my own self-esteem, but I am still trying to improve on that. I think experience will definitely take us further. Things we do which may also have an effect on how we feel, people we meet who may give us new or different insights... I'd say I have gone far than where I have been years ago when I never did anything much. Such feelings may come back attacking me again saying I'm not good in this and that, but to keep going with what we're doing, what we feel like doing, I believe it will definitely lead you somewhere better. roud:

I don't know if this is a weird thought but... being a minority as INFP would it be we don't really relate to a lot of people. That would be why we live more distant more closed. And as was said that it's more for the other types to become experts in one field.. we look at the others and feel we must be like them?