[Quin Sabe]

I notice every time I start feeling good it turns into sadness and depression, in a matter of days. I just start thinking about it, and the absence, and it just doesn't seem like they're should be that good feeling or I'm just not deserving maybe. Mainly, it's like it sets the bar high then I shrink from it so much I see just how sad I am and it just exaggerates it. I start thinking about all the possibilities of social interaction and just become fearful of the future. I think that is what exaggerates it because I'm lonely, then it lets up (feeling good) then I become fearful and want to be alone, but I'm lonely. I am extrovert too, being around people energizes me, I'm become more efficient and talkative. which just makes it a even bigger contradiction. (I know I restated it many times but that's how it came out of my thoughts.)

Am I just being too sensitive here just need to suck it up?

 

[kaycee]

I don't think that is normal no. You should be able to enjoy being happy.

Sounds like anxiety to me.

 

[LostInMyOwnMind]

Sounds a little bipolar to me.

 

[kaycee]

definitely not bipolar. Bipolar is about extremes. So high you feel like you can't be stopped and then so low you feel like you will never recover. It's not about feeling good and then feeling a little sad because you are worried you won't stay good forever.

 

[Third Engine]

It could be cyclothemia (a less intense version of bipolar disorder).

 

[Quin Sabe]

I'm feeling back up today, last night I was hanging out and I'm good. It seems to follow events, which indicates it could be a form of anxiety. I have thought that it could be cyclothymia but I'm just not sure that it would follow events as well it does. There has been few times it seemed to against the grain, but not really a significant percentage.

 

[vel]

I know for intuition dominants it is important to be in process of getting somewhere, achieving something, and once that something is achieved it doesn't feel as good anymore. Perhaps you've made happiness that point that you need to achieve, and once you achieve it, it doesn't seem so good anymore and so you plunge back into unhappiness so that you can start the chase for happiness all over again.

Only thing I can reference out of my own life is that I was with a group of people and I created a mini-project for myself of how things can be made better for that group, gotten a few others involved, and in half a year we got it done. I was very happy in process. But after completion I could not come up with anything else right away and just felt so empty, and depressed, and riding on this low even left this group and cut all ties for a while. At that point I wondered what's wrong with me, why I left people with whom I had memories of being happy. I joined back after another half a year passed.

 

[Quin Sabe]

I know for intuition dominants it is important to be in process of getting somewhere, achieving something, and once that something is achieved it doesn't feel as good anymore. Perhaps you've made happiness that point that you need to achieve, and once you achieve it, it doesn't seem so good anymore and so you plunge back into unhappiness so that you can start the chase for happiness all over again.

Only thing I can reference out of my own life is that I was with a group of people and I created a mini-project for myself of how things can be made better for that group, gotten a few others involved, and in half a year we got it done. I was very happy in process. But after completion I could not come up with anything else right away and just felt so empty, and depressed, and riding on this low even left this group and cut all ties for a while. At that point I wondered what's wrong with me, why I left people with whom I had memories of being happy. I joined back after another half a year passed.

That is very plausible, and really it does make sense. It explains the pattern, I remember the recent past as being happy/good, and then look at the near future as bleaker/depressing and the far future as lot work details without a for sure high point. Maybe I'm not crazy after all, lol Thanks, :happy:

 

[strawberryLola]

Quin,

I didn't see it as you being crazy at all. If anything, I sensed a lot of anxiety and hurt.. I don't want to assume, but were there things in your life, events that say.. triggered you to feel this way? Often times, these 'feelings' don't arise from out of nowhere. It's a combination of personality and experience.

What is it that causes you to feel this way when you do?

 

[Quin Sabe]

Quin,

I didn't see it as you being crazy at all. If anything, I sensed a lot of anxiety and hurt.. I don't want to assume, but were there things in your life, events that say.. triggered you to feel this way? Often times, these 'feelings' don't arise from out of nowhere. It's a combination of personality and experience.

What is it that causes you to feel this way when you do?

It could be a few things, I do see it stemming from a emotional wound, psychological wound of some sort, I just have never been able to pin point what exactly caused it, other than a sense of loneliness that has become a sort of self-perpetuating insecurity. It does hit fairly regular which could mean its something else or that it is just a dominating issue in my life. It does seem to be sparked every time. I think I just have to live and work through it, and eventually when the right events happen it'll get better. I wish could say specifics for why but, I just can't seem to. This semester I'm much more socially active, and it's building some 'healing' (I hate to use that term for some reason). I'm able to see some of things that provoke it and can work on rationalizing/fixing it. I can't help but think a close relationship, where I can just air those feelings and 'wound', and have it be met with affection, would help greatly but those are rare. (especially, being a guy.) So maybe I just need to quit looking at it with respect to a psychological disorder and focus on it being more of natural emotional thing that needs work?

 

[strawberryLola]

It could be a few things, I do see it stemming from a emotional wound, psychological wound of some sort, I just have never been able to pin point what exactly caused it, other than a sense of loneliness that has become a sort of self-perpetuating insecurity. It does hit fairly regular which could mean its something else or that it is just a dominating issue in my life. It does seem to be sparked every time. I think I just have to live and work through it, and eventually when the right events happen it'll get better. I wish could say specifics for why but, I just can't seem to. This semester I'm much more socially active, and it's building some 'healing' (I hate to use that term for some reason). I'm able to see some of things that provoke it and can work on rationalizing/fixing it. I can't help but think a close relationship, where I can just air those feelings and 'wound', and have it be met with affection, would help greatly but those are rare. (especially, being a guy.) So maybe I just need to quit looking at it with respect to a psychological disorder and focus on it being more of natural emotional thing that needs work?

Definitely.

I understand where you are coming from. School can be quite taxing, and especially being a guy, it's hard because you're often told to suppress your emotions (which doesn't help anybody). Sometimes, you just want to let loose- vent and have fun with someone right? You want that connection and that's natural.

You mentioned being extroverted, so when we introvert, it feels kinda off.. and somewhat makes us feel displaced? You seem to be pretty self-aware. That's ALWAYS a good thing- Is there someone in particular that you may be interested in on campus in getting to know?

 

[Quin Sabe]

Definitely.

I understand where you are coming from. School can be quite taxing, and especially being a guy, it's hard because you're often told to suppress your emotions (which doesn't help anybody). Sometimes, you just want to let loose- vent and have fun with someone right? You want that connection and that's natural.

You mentioned being extroverted, so when we introvert, it feels kinda off.. and somewhat makes us feel displaced? You seem to be pretty self-aware. That's ALWAYS a good thing- Is there someone in particular that you may be interested in on campus in getting to know?

Yeah, I definitely have strong desire for that connection. The problem is I can see it being overwhelming to someone, and that's one of the last things I want to do, even if it is against my heart. There few people I wouldn't mind getting to know better but, finessing it into working isn't the easiest thing. I can't really go off looks for attraction, its mainly personality and the way they are that I'm attracted to. That's something which can take time to really know. I work to be self-aware, I feel I need to be to be able to truly be who I want to be in life. It complicates things in ways, especially with attraction. I believe I'm a extrovert but not totally for sure. Until I got to college my life mainly home school and boy scouts which lends itself to introversion, and no dating. I really appreciate your input, :happy: