[Finaille]

This is probably like my third thread on here. I hope I am certainly not getting on anybody's nerves... but I'm trying to be relatively discreet as I get more information in the mean time.

I always just assumed my therapist was correct in saying that I was an ENFP. He just pinned together the letters with their definitions (outgoing, future focused, emotional (obviously), and a bit disorganized/flighty). As I got to know the functions better, Ne/Fi/Te/Si seemed to fit a little... but not absolutely. It wasn't uncommon for me to hear things such as my Fi seemed strong, almost Fe-like... that my Ne wasn't quite as obvious, my Thinking function was very low... and that I had a stronger Si.

I also dealt with a lot of problems and stress in my life that really, for the first time, I'm starting to put behind me and move on as a healthier individual.

For a while I have noticed a stronger identity in the ISFJ type. When I read posts from individuals of that type, I see a lot of common ground. Their issues are ones I frequently deal with, and the definition of the type in both general definition and order of function make a bit more sense to me. Let me explain in terms of those functions.

Si- I am a firm believer that life would be easier if we recognized what failed in the past and stuck with things that worked. I am constantly comparing what I have learned and what has worked to my present situations. I am a very hands on learner as well; I can learn from reading but I have to find practical value in theory for me to find any use in it. I like to stick to what I am used to and don't like change. If I need to change major things, I need a lot of time to process it.

Fe- This is always one that I am unsure about. I am consistently aware and concerned about what other people think of me. I have to constantly battle how I feel about things and how other people feel. The definitions of both Fe and Fi confuse me a lot... because I don't often see the examples behind the definitions (so basically, present a situation and tell me what a Fe would do and what a Fi would do).

Ti- I like to have my ducks completely in a row before I present any information... and this is a weak area. I prefer order, knowing what I'm going to say before I say it. I find that I am a very slow processor; preferring to get in all the information before making any judgements regarding a situation.

And then finally Ne... always assumed that it was my strongest, not the inferior. Most of the time any future talk comes out of my lips, it is always worrying and concern. The future scares the living crap out of me because I have no idea what is going to happen and I tend to assume the worst.

Talking to a few ISFJs on the board and reading general descriptions I find that while easy to show a happy face, I tend to be serious and don't really have a lot of close friends (hard enough to manage the ones I do, but once you show you give a crap about me I will be loyal until you mess that up). I don't trust easily, but I don't believe in self-disclosure because there is nothing to hide. I like to know what to expect and I like to plan. I don't like sudden changes and I tend to act like a butt until I find a way to make myself appear more comfortable. I always feel like I stick out in an awkward way and that most people don't like me (too nice, not logical enough, always something).

Lastly, my fiance (who knows me better than anybody) believes that I tend to get my energy from inside myself and also believes I'm a bit more concrete than abstract. When I had him take the test for me (so basically answering the questions in the way he sees me), the answer came out ISFJ most likely.

So anyways... what would be similarities between the ISFJ and ENFP? What are the primary differences?

 

[Narrator]

It certainly sounds pretty possible you are one. 6w7 creates an ambiguous person in terms of extraversion and introversion, and with Fe I suppose our external connection is related to people and harmony, rather than connections and possibilities, so it makes that connection that much more ambiguous.
Don't get me wrong, I love considering the possibilities, and I'd say I'm pretty good when it comes to analysing literature for connections - I was top of the year through secondary education. I can find myself getting tired of too much repetition, if I'm doing the same thing, day in day out, and not being socialised enough. But this is ALOT of repetition. I dread the idea of working the same till job for years, or even months, though I could stand working in somewhere like Argos if it was always the busy period (it's a store where you have to collect orders from the warehouse and take them out to the customer, so it's enough change for me to be kept out of a bored slump, and you're pretty much running around most of the time when it's the busy period.)
I can think creatively about abstract things, and enjoy doing so, however I'm most comfortable when I have something concrete to ground myself on - literature and poetry, and studying something in the real world, say the evolution of French politics, not just the theory is a good mode for working with politics, philosophy and ideas for me. I've also started to take interest in, and find a love for History, and learning about culture. Before it felt too abstract to me, because I had no desire to feel a connection, but my interest gives it a tangibility - kinda like how I could be lead through an idea by a teachers' passion. I'll also be very proficient if I'm taken through the basics slowly - I can make jumps easily when I have a 'feel' for the subject/ideas, However when I've been moved up sets/the year ends and I have to start more advanced material/at a faster pace, it just won't stick, and I'll get lost and trail along behind everyone, despite being better than most when I'm taken through it slowly.

Reading up on Fe/Ti working together and Fi/Te working together made me feel I was Fe/Ti. I relale very much to that dynamic.

"Fe- This is always one that I am unsure about. I am consistently aware and concerned about what other people think of me. I have to constantly battle how I feel about things and how other people feel. The definitions of both Fe and Fi confuse me a lot... because I don't often see the examples behind the definitions (so basically, present a situation and tell me what a Fe would do and what a Fi would do)."
Sounds like Fe to me, I definately have some strong values, but I find they're generally related to one significant place of trust - my 'home' ie my mum. I can come to my own values independently, and some of my mum's values I don't agree with, but when I'm making a tough decision I generally find myself indecisive, and feeling like I just don't know what is the right thing to do, because I can see both sides. In a conflict situation I would find myself catering to avoiding conflict, over bringing up a point of contention, when push comes to shove, which is a quality which has surprised me in the past. I've struggled to understand Fe before - I also began the MBTI thinking I was an INFP/xNFP. I'm not an initiator, or a leader, though I can direct if I have full control. I can diffuse tense situations better than someone in a possition of authority might, through an unthreatening demeanor, and tailoring my responses to sympathise with someone - I can see lots of different point of view (not all, but a large number) so it's possible for an honest sympathy to come out (I would find it very difficult to act spontaneously), however this would need to be in conjunction with more stregnth on my part to send agressive people away - I'm, more able to try and keep them from blowing up than getting them to disconnect completely.
It's easiest for me to see in an ESFJ friend when she's stressed. She needs an external reciprocation of feelings, the tone needs to point to support. I have to frame any criticism or advice with the sense that I care, and don't disapprove of her.
My mum's either an ENFJ or SFJ, and she has the mentality that you must take care of others' feelings; they are your responsibility. She has lots of common sense and is good at people managing. She recognises just how sensitive emotions are, and how connected they are to everything we experience. She understands that the best way to get through to someone is to not present an adverse stance, but to come in from the side. She is very reasonable, and doesn't get heated during intellectual debates, but the one time I tried to suggest that maybe sending off a second set of thankyou cards was an unecessary gesture she practically had a hissy fit. Her one complaint about my dad (6w5 ISTJ) is that he's inconsciderate. She'd rather he tell her the soup she made is nice even if it's not. I suggested maybe truth is his way of showing he cares, her response was that for her it's just not worth it - the soup's probably not gonna get better, so why express a hurtful truth which won't help anyone? She would sacrafice a degree of truth for her ends if she viewed them as worth it (not to say she's dishonest, she isn't afraid to criticise, especially not if you've done something she views as morally wrong, but she sees no reason to reasonlessly hinder a good cause, if only to be truthful.
But that's alot on dominant Fe, heh.

 

[Finaille]

So, since answering questions didn't work either, I am going to post a little bit about how I am at work.

With customers, fabulously. I am cheerful, engaging, and would prefer to do anything to help them. After all, it is my job. I only get annoyed with customers when they leave clothes on the fitting room floor, because we actually lose money from their stains and tears from carelessness.

However, with my coworkers, that's another story. With most I am cold and I find them to be incompetent and boring. We had a loss prevention 'meeting' this morning (if you could even call it that, we watched a video about people who did loss prevention well in the company). While I enjoy the personal interest pieces, I think this video is dumb as rocks because our store does nothing to talk about it. They clap, cheer, and laugh at the stupidest things. I realized how cold and indifferent I come across to most coworkers.

I also realized the more a manager breaks my space bubble (known as staying and harping on stuff for more than about two minutes, or less if it's irrelevant) I tend to be thinking 'YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!'. One of my newer managers in my area is numbers obsessed and I think she completely misses the fact that as a manager, they are supposed to be teaching us how to be better with the customer and efficiency. I feel like her way of presenting information completely loses focus of a customer. We need to be cleanly and try to sell more, but if we don't treat out customers well who would want to shop there anyways?

When I was a kid if I thought a parent/teacher/older person was freaking out over something that wasn't a big deal, I had a horrible habit of rolling my eyes in their face. While I'm not nearly as verbal about expressing my disapproval over another individual's incompetence, I do notice I make many snide, cruel remarks over people who miss the main point (in my mind!).

 

[LiquidLight]

Probably an ENFP. I think you have a fairly pronounced Te-preference and definitely favor your intuitions (as evidenced by your line about people freaking about things you didn't think were that important in the bigger picture). I also think the space bubble thing is more of an Inferior Si thing (though it's probably just a Sensation thing in general). Anytime you have an issue in an area that is inconsistent or wonky at times, its usually an indicator that it is not a dominant function. Also having your ducks in a row before presenting an idea is much more indicative of Te than Ti (one of the hallmarks of strong Ti is often the inability to articulate a concept in a way that other people can understand).

 

[Finaille]

I also debated if I'm exhibiting stress functions because of my upcoming wedding. That could make me come across more Si Dom than anything.

I don't know. I can never articulate what I want to present. Online it is one thing, same as in my head. Not when I'm having face to face conversation with others.

 

[LiquidLight]

I also debated if I'm exhibiting stress functions because of my upcoming wedding. That could make me come across more Si Dom than anything.

I don't know. I can never articulate what I want to present. Online it is one thing, same as in my head. Not when I'm having face to face conversation with others.

Some of this is the nature of being an intuitive and not being able to turn intuitions into coherent thoughts or phrases that others can readily understand. But it's amplified with Thinking because while an Introverted Thinking type may be able to draw a line between to ideas in his head, there often doesn't exist the language to articulate that connection, which is why so many types with Ti-preference have a penchant for making up words or concepts (like Disney using the word Imagineer or Animatronic, or Jung using words like Introvert and Extravert).

 

[Finaille]

It certainly sounds pretty possible you are one. 6w7 creates an ambiguous person in terms of extraversion and introversion, and with Fe I suppose our external connection is related to people and harmony, rather than connections and possibilities, so it makes that connection that much more ambiguous.
Don't get me wrong, I love considering the possibilities, and I'd say I'm pretty good when it comes to analysing literature for connections - I was top of the year through secondary education. I can find myself getting tired of too much repetition, if I'm doing the same thing, day in day out, and not being socialised enough. But this is ALOT of repetition. I dread the idea of working the same till job for years, or even months, though I could stand working in somewhere like Argos if it was always the busy period (it's a store where you have to collect orders from the warehouse and take them out to the customer, so it's enough change for me to be kept out of a bored slump, and you're pretty much running around most of the time when it's the busy period.)
I can think creatively about abstract things, and enjoy doing so, however I'm most comfortable when I have something concrete to ground myself on - literature and poetry, and studying something in the real world, say the evolution of French politics, not just the theory is a good mode for working with politics, philosophy and ideas for me. I've also started to take interest in, and find a love for History, and learning about culture. Before it felt too abstract to me, because I had no desire to feel a connection, but my interest gives it a tangibility - kinda like how I could be lead through an idea by a teachers' passion. I'll also be very proficient if I'm taken through the basics slowly - I can make jumps easily when I have a 'feel' for the subject/ideas, However when I've been moved up sets/the year ends and I have to start more advanced material/at a faster pace, it just won't stick, and I'll get lost and trail along behind everyone, despite being better than most when I'm taken through it slowly.

Reading up on Fe/Ti working together and Fi/Te working together made me feel I was Fe/Ti. I relale very much to that dynamic.

"Fe- This is always one that I am unsure about. I am consistently aware and concerned about what other people think of me. I have to constantly battle how I feel about things and how other people feel. The definitions of both Fe and Fi confuse me a lot... because I don't often see the examples behind the definitions (so basically, present a situation and tell me what a Fe would do and what a Fi would do)."
Sounds like Fe to me, I definately have some strong values, but I find they're generally related to one significant place of trust - my 'home' ie my mum. I can come to my own values independently, and some of my mum's values I don't agree with, but when I'm making a tough decision I generally find myself indecisive, and feeling like I just don't know what is the right thing to do, because I can see both sides. In a conflict situation I would find myself catering to avoiding conflict, over bringing up a point of contention, when push comes to shove, which is a quality which has surprised me in the past. I've struggled to understand Fe before - I also began the MBTI thinking I was an INFP/xNFP. I'm not an initiator, or a leader, though I can direct if I have full control. I can diffuse tense situations better than someone in a possition of authority might, through an unthreatening demeanor, and tailoring my responses to sympathise with someone - I can see lots of different point of view (not all, but a large number) so it's possible for an honest sympathy to come out (I would find it very difficult to act spontaneously), however this would need to be in conjunction with more stregnth on my part to send agressive people away - I'm, more able to try and keep them from blowing up than getting them to disconnect completely.
It's easiest for me to see in an ESFJ friend when she's stressed. She needs an external reciprocation of feelings, the tone needs to point to support. I have to frame any criticism or advice with the sense that I care, and don't disapprove of her.
My mum's either an ENFJ or SFJ, and she has the mentality that you must take care of others' feelings; they are your responsibility. She has lots of common sense and is good at people managing. She recognises just how sensitive emotions are, and how connected they are to everything we experience. She understands that the best way to get through to someone is to not present an adverse stance, but to come in from the side. She is very reasonable, and doesn't get heated during intellectual debates, but the one time I tried to suggest that maybe sending off a second set of thankyou cards was an unecessary gesture she practically had a hissy fit. Her one complaint about my dad (6w5 ISTJ) is that he's inconsciderate. She'd rather he tell her the soup she made is nice even if it's not. I suggested maybe truth is his way of showing he cares, her response was that for her it's just not worth it - the soup's probably not gonna get better, so why express a hurtful truth which won't help anyone? She would sacrafice a degree of truth for her ends if she viewed them as worth it (not to say she's dishonest, she isn't afraid to criticise, especially not if you've done something she views as morally wrong, but she sees no reason to reasonlessly hinder a good cause, if only to be truthful.
But that's alot on dominant Fe, heh.

That is a lot on dominant Fe. I can tell after reading that, I'm not a dominant. I'm a firm believer that an individual chooses how they feel; whether they perceive what I do/say incorrectly is their problem. If they are upset over something I did, I try to see how I made a mistake and intend to fix it. However, if they are going to be a pain in the butt about it... I am not going to waste that much time or energy.

I guess when somebody is unhappy with me, I recognize I'm not doing something correctly or their standards are just too damn high. I don't want to settle; I want to be a good person and be good at what I do. I place a lot of value on competence. It's hard because I'm actually a very lazy person, but if somebody challenges me I can prove very well that I am not. If somebody didn't compliment my soup, then I would do whatever it takes to make them damn well love it! I just move on to something else to try and get a positive response out of them. Beating the same dead horse gets me nowhere.

 

[TwistMeSweetly]

I'm pretty sure you're an ENFP like the rest of the bunch have said. You act completely like my mother and she's an ENFP :happy: And my mother is a great person (most of the time...I guess if I wasn't her daughter, she'd be great all the time) so that was meant as a compliment.