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My ISFJ friend is by far one of the best friends I've ever had. She's incredibly loyal and caring and I am so thankful for her!

BUT... Sometimes I feel like I sort of embarrass her in public. I'm pretty positive I'm not a social retard, but it's almost as if she expects all women to act and speak the same. And sometimes she'll call me out in public for something that I've said if it has any sort of opinion to it.

I absolutely love her. But how can I tell her to respect our different ways of thinking and communicating without hurting her feelings? Should I draw up examples?
 

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Generally, if an ISFJ is commenting on something, they deem it necessary enough to possible cause friction/conflict, in order to bring an undesirable act to light, so that they may help you. I personally have an INFP friend, and we have a great time together. We balance each other out though. He gets me to try cool new things, where as I help keep him out of trouble.

Its nearly impossible to not embarrass a ISFJ in public at some point in time, however if you are not purposely trying to embarrass the ISFJ, they will usually be forgiving of the event, and may even look back on it with humor. Maintaining a healthy balance is key though. You friend probably knows that people think differently, and likewise you should not force her to be accepting of all your actions.

Just be gentle when you talk to her, and make sure to listen. Sometimes ISFJ's will react to things without really giving reason why, and confuse others. They usually have a good reason behind their actions and only want to help. Trying to be understanding of this, and your friend will most likely be more understanding of your free nature.
 

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Like always, I'm speaking more from my personal perspective as an ISFJ rather than speaking for all ISFJ's, since I don't know exactly how your friend is.

But I think the most important thing to get across to your friend is to let her know that you're not trying to embarrass her or be weird...that you're just being yourself.

One thing that might help is to identify the things that are different about her compared to you. Then, let her know that you completely accept those things about her, even though they're kind of different to you and you can't relate to them. If you use that as an example, she might understand better that it's the same for you doing these things she doesn't approve of...let her know that you accept her for being different, so you're just asking her to do the same for you.


That's always what works best for me, appealing to my own personal feelings. I'm pretty empathetic, so I can relate to people well once they clearly show me how and let me know that it's something important to them....I can't stand hurting people. So I think if you emphasize the way it makes you feel instead of putting the emphasis on her, she'll be more likely to listen.
 

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double post...grr
 
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