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Discussion Starter #1
Is there anything about you that does not seem to fit within the generalized behavior of an ISFJ?
 

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Mine is that I hate cooking. (I can cook and do it out of necessity, but I hate every minute of it.) Off to make dinner now. :bored:
 
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Yeah. I dont care for tradition or rules, if i see no point in them. I dont believe in god and I hate family get togethers that SJ's are supposedly meant to love. I hate small talk, I dont need someone I barely know pretend to care about how my day/life is going. I'd much rather speak to someone about something specific and then AFTERWARDS, once the ice is broken, be like "Well hows things with you anyway?"

I'm not a push-over and I can say no to people (although i admit i used to be a pushover). I'm only empathetic to people I really care about, or for people who are going through something that I can relate to. Most of the time I think people bring their problems on themselves. If people arent willing to at least help themselves then all my sympathy goes out the window. Same with people who repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
I'm not really that sensitive and I can debate without taking shit personally. I rarely get emotional in front of people, especially if i dont know them well, although if im drunk im more likely to.
I'm not an organisational freak, but I do like to have some idea of what's going on, or some sort of routine. But im flexable and adaptable.

That's all I can really come up with for now...

Sometimes I do have a hard time believing I'm an ISFJ.

I hate the pushover/nurse/house wife stereotype, as ive mentioned countless times on this forum. It's awful, false and probably the worst stereotype out of all the types, in my opinion. I've thought long and hard about a positive ISFJ stereotype, but I honestly dont have a clue.

Anyone ever thought the same?
 

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Mine is that I hate cooking. (I can cook and do it out of necessity, but I hate every minute of it.) Off to make dinner now. :bored:
Me too. Although ive found i enjoy it more if im on my own... I think its the thought of having a busy kitchen that I dislike more. I've found it to be quite fun and relaxing when doing it when ive been home alone.
 
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Yeah. I dont care for tradition or rules, if i see no point in them. I dont believe in god and I hate family get togethers that SJ's are supposedly meant to love. I hate small talk, I dont need someone I barely know pretend to care about how my day/life is going. I'd much rather speak to someone about something specific and then AFTERWARDS, once the ice is broken, be like "Well hows things with you anyway?"

I'm not a push-over and I can say no to people (although i admit i used to be a pushover). I'm only empathetic to people I really care about, or for people who are going through something that I can relate to. Most of the time I think people bring their problems on themselves. If people arent willing to at least help themselves then all my sympathy goes out the window. Same with people who repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
I'm not really that sensitive and I can debate without taking shit personally. I rarely get emotional in front of people, especially if i dont know them well, although if im drunk im more likely to.
I'm not an organisational freak, but I do like to have some idea of what's going on, or some sort of routine. But im flexable and adaptable.

That's all I can really come up with for now...

Sometimes I do have a hard time believing I'm an ISFJ.

I hate the pushover/nurse/house wife stereotype, as ive mentioned countless times on this forum. It's awful, false and probably the worst stereotype out of all the types, in my opinion. I've thought long and hard about a positive ISFJ stereotype, but I honestly dont have a clue.

Anyone ever thought the same?
I can relate to pretty much 100% of what you've written there.

I hate the idea of conformity, I don't have much respect for strong authority figures, and I come off stand-offish at first glance.

It's pretty easy for me to move on from hurtful/difficult experiences. If someone leaves me in a relationship, they can expect to never hear from me again, because I have no reason to be in touch with them anymore.

It's been discussed on the ISFJ forum before that it's common for us to find comfort in the sentimental value of a belonging/inanimate object. Personally I don't relate to that at all. I rarely hold on to things and prefer to discard them if they aren't of any use to me.

Oh, and I also hate cooking. :tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
@Brown93

I'm not a push-over and I can say no to people (although i admit i used to be a pushover). Ugh THANK YOU! I think the sentiment comes from idea that we will avoid conflict altogether, so we will either avoid a person or just say "yes" to make them happy. I used to do this too, until I went to therapy and realized setting boundaries is a much healthier, happier choice (for anyone.) We're creatures of habit and it's tough to step outside what we know, but with practice comes the notice of a new result. I easily say no and don't feel bad about it at all. I think most people are surprised since I tend to be so easy going and helpful.

Most of the time I think people bring their problems on themselves. If people arent willing to at least help themselves then all my sympathy goes out the window. Gawd yes! "If you could kick the person in the butt who was responsible for the majority of your problems you wouldn't sit for a week." What I like is having the insight of knowing what it is like to take responsibility for my problems, and RARELY point the finger elsewhere. I always see where I have contributed and as such, this is how I give advice when it is asked.

I'm not really that sensitive and I can debate without taking shit personally. This one is "ify" for me. I still shy away from political or religious debates, even on forums. I don't like the way the "energy" makes me feel ... like bad juju or something. I have had to learn to be more assertive in a "business" sense, and that is only because I'm a bit quirky ... and my thoughts tend to lean that way as well sometimes. This is usually the reason I get quiet in groups of people I don't know well.

I hate the pushover/nurse/house wife stereotype, as ive mentioned countless times on this forum. It's awful, false and probably the worst stereotype out of all the types, in my opinion. I've thought long and hard about a positive ISFJ stereotype, but I honestly dont have a clue.
I think what I hate about the stereotype is they are looking at us like the nostalgic 1950s ... wearing high heels cleaning the house and waiting on the husband to return from home so we can serve him his gin. Who cares how you achieve a happy, functioning home ... isn't that what everyone wants?
 

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There are some....

Although I'm a wife and mother, and can be sentimental and nostalgic, I'm not overly "traditionalist".

I'm not as extreme as feeling the "need to be needed"--I do like to help people, and can feel awkward if there's nothing to help with...but...need to be needed seems a bit extreme.
 

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I'm going to second nearly everyone here and say that I don't fully trust most authority figures, which is ironic considering the number of leadership positions I held during college. I still do put faith in some hierarchical relationships, such as student-teacher or parent-child, but I tend to be wary of individuals and groups with a lot of power and money.

I've also become a lot better at resisting the urge to bottle up my feelings, since I've learned firsthand that I can be an explosive individual if I smother anger or sadness for too long.

Even though I love to express myself through fashion, I'm really not that good at interior decoration. I have a feeling that my future living space is going to be filled with garish colors, kitschy objects, and leopard print. It's going to be tacky.
 

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I'm not a push-over and I can say no to people (although i admit i used to be a pushover). Ugh THANK YOU! I think the sentiment comes from idea that we will avoid conflict altogether, so we will either avoid a person or just say "yes" to make them happy. I used to do this too, until I went to therapy and realized setting boundaries is a much healthier, happier choice (for anyone.) We're creatures of habit and it's tough to step outside what we know, but with practice comes the notice of a new result. I easily say no and don't feel bad about it at all. I think most people are surprised since I tend to be so easy going and helpful.
Just through reading through this thread, I'm noticing some trends on how we ISFJs characterize the traits we don't associate with. We're largely describing them as unhealthy.

Does this mean that traits such as being pushovers, having blind faith in authority, or having a general dislike of conflict are characteristic of unhealthy ISFJs? What do y'all think?
 

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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
The idea of conformity is a strange one. It assumes that everyone will walk around like a robot, as in the movie 1984. I think Generations X and younger fall outside of the old definition. I'm a conformist to a degree, until I disagree with something that goes against my ethics or standard principals that I have set up for myself. Conformity doesn't take into account that society as a whole has evolved from the masses to individual needs. Generally speaking, I see the world growing more hostile ... so is this the norm now? If so, it makes me a nonconformist. ;)

I also want to add that I hate hosting events at my house. I'm not a perfect hostess. Yes I plan everything and make sure everyone is taken care of ... but the disorder in my home gives me anxiety especially when there are kids involved (mainly b/c they like to tear up my house and then I have to clean it all up.) My inlaws expect us to host Thanksgiving, etc. We do it, but I don't enjoy it ... I do it for everyone else or to make them happy. I was actually grateful the year I had the Rota Virus on Thanksgiving ... b/c I couldn't get out of bed and didn't have to deal with the madness.
 
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I pretty much agree 100% with @Brown93 except Im pretty much sympathetic to everyone, even if I have no idea who they are. I also hate cooking too haha. I'm organized, but in a messy way, so I absolutely despise cleaning. I don't think I could ever be a "house-wife" or like some soccer mom, but I actually do want to go into the medical field (dang it haha). I think the stereotype of the ISFJ can be really annoying sometimes, because everyone thinks were this cute type and kind all the time, but I can be really mean sometimes without even realizing it (oops). It's no wonder my friends were surprised that I was an ISFJ, although it does make sense for me
 

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I am sooo not as organized and clean as ISFJ's are said to be. My room's a mess! I'm also more theoretical then practical but I'd say it's almost fifty-fifty. I definitely think I am an ISFJ; I just think that no one is 100% their type. There's just no way with all the individuality.
 

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Despite popular belief, an ISFJ is very much capable of punching you in the face.

Certainly takes that sort of character to bring them to that point, but damnit in their eyes it is just.
 

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Yeah. I dont care for tradition or rules, if i see no point in them. I dont believe in god and I hate family get togethers that SJ's are supposedly meant to love. I hate small talk, I dont need someone I barely know pretend to care about how my day/life is going. I'd much rather speak to someone about something specific and then AFTERWARDS, once the ice is broken, be like "Well hows things with you anyway?"

I'm not a push-over and I can say no to people (although i admit i used to be a pushover). I'm only empathetic to people I really care about, or for people who are going through something that I can relate to. Most of the time I think people bring their problems on themselves. If people arent willing to at least help themselves then all my sympathy goes out the window. Same with people who repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
I'm not really that sensitive and I can debate without taking shit personally. I rarely get emotional in front of people, especially if i dont know them well, although if im drunk im more likely to.
I'm not an organisational freak, but I do like to have some idea of what's going on, or some sort of routine. But im flexable and adaptable.

That's all I can really come up with for now...

Sometimes I do have a hard time believing I'm an ISFJ.

I hate the pushover/nurse/house wife stereotype, as ive mentioned countless times on this forum. It's awful, false and probably the worst stereotype out of all the types, in my opinion. I've thought long and hard about a positive ISFJ stereotype, but I honestly dont have a clue.

Anyone ever thought the same?
do u know your ennaegram?
 

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hmm i was thinking maybe you were just a ennaegram type that was uncommon for ISFJs, but 9's are pretty common.
 
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