Interesting. I think Enneagram could be a factor!@angelcat
I did not agonize over my avatar. Though I am not a fan of Marilyn Manson's music, I am a fan of his artwork. I picked this painting because I thought it was beautiful and didn't even consider that it might be offensive!
I definitely relate to be liked and affirmed. I also care about being appropriate. I sometimes wonder if I am a Fi who is influenced by my enneagram type (9) and my instinctual stacking (most likely sp/so), creating pseudo Fe tendencies. Like your example, I take queues from others to gauge what my reaction should be and prioritize their perspective. I can feel their energy. Sometimes it is a weight. What is Fe and what is just being passive? Depending on the situation, I may or may not agonize over 'we'-dom afterwards. Sometimes it feels like a second skin. Other times I'm pained. Do you consider it acting when you cry when they cry? How do you construct that emotion?
The first part of that sounds right, that Fe judges by external standards. But along that line of reasoning, Fi judges by internal standards. I don't think authenticity/inauthenticity really factors into it. The desire for authenticity relates to a motivation, which I think is the realm of Enneagram.Interesting. I think Enneagram could be a factor!
Crying when others cry ... just happens. Instinctively. Fe is 'investing in the object' -- judging things impartially, by external standards. So if someone else is sad, I feel it and reflect it. I don't have to have experienced their particular kind of pain to comprehend what it must feel like, and to experience it along with them.
To a Fi type, that sort of thing would be inauthentic and offensive -- Fi rebels against the idea that anyone experiences the same feelings it does, unless they know that person has been in an identical situation.
Fe would feel embarrassed with and for that person, because Fe is reflecting an external, impartial emotional state... feeling what the person who is embarrassed is feeling.The first part of that sounds right, that Fe judges by external standards. But along that line of reasoning, Fi judges by internal standards. I don't think authenticity/inauthenticity really factors into it. The desire for authenticity relates to a motivation, which I think is the realm of Enneagram.
I think it may boil down to something like this: A person does something embarassing. Fe says "Ouch, she must feel really embarassed, poor girl." Conversely, Fi says "Ouch, I feel really embarassed for her, I know how she must feel." Fe looks at an external emotional state (i.e. the other person's) and responds to it. Fi, on the other hand, looks at what happened (the embarassing incident) and judges it internally, making a conclusion on what the Fi user him/herself would feel.
This could all be complete nonsense though!
Should never have joined PerC.At the time the thread was originally started, you identified as an ISFJ. Now that you identify as a Fi type ...