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Discussion Starter #1
Is this true?? I noticed that every ISFJ I come across, they always smile but it's so obvious they're faking it. When in public, they put on a smile. When they see a camera pointed towards them, they smile. The only time when they're not smiling is when they are alone. I caught an ISFJ girl by herself looking like a sad girl who's starting to regret getting that haircut, and once she sees me she puts on that smile. I need your confirmations whether you tend to smile in any situation involving people/public and why you like to smile and how you handle that jaw pain
 

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In my case it's true, but it's either one of two extremes:
Either I'm faking the smile just to avert attention to the fact that I'm not exactly in a great mood, or I can't stop smiling because I'm in such a great mood. Smiling to me is just something that comes naturally - as someone who takes clear notice of other people's facial expressions and moods, and also the 'SJ-like' upholding of manners, smiling is a good way to a) pretend you're in a good mood when you don't want to talk about whatever's making you feel sad, and b) be polite and friendly towards other people. I wouldn't want to scare somebody off or end up bothering them about my problems if I'm not smiling. I feel uncomfortable doing that with people I'm not exactly close to or completely comfortable around. If I want to talk about it, I will eventually, but in the meantime I'd rather smile instead of tackling the issue. I don't always act like this, but when I do, that's why I do it.

Hahaha and I think my jaw's pretty alright - it's kind of used to 17 years of non-stop smiling :wink:
 

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In highschool I used to go through the entire day not smiling. And if something did make me laugh, I got angry so that I could hold it back.
Yeahh...
Now. I love making people laugh. So I smile pretty often around people, either to be polite or if I'm comfortable enough to talk about the given topic. I don't think I smile more than normal though.

I think it's funny that you generalize ISFJs so easily. I guess I can start assuming ESTPs are just as rude as you :p
 

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Your aversion to smiling is funny. Why do you care so much?
 

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@kree, you and me both. I tend to smile if I can. Happy? Smile. Sad? Smile. Angry? Don't make eye contact and try to smile. Completely and utterly depressed? Pretend I'm tired, lol. I just don't want anyone making a big deal out of it or drawing any unwanted attention to myself. People tend to assume everything is okay if you're always smiling.
 
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I either have a 'serious' mood face, or if I'm 'very' snappy happy I'll smile or laugh uncontrollably.
 
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Is this true?? I noticed that every ISFJ I come across, they always smile but it's so obvious they're faking it. When in public, they put on a smile. When they see a camera pointed towards them, they smile. The only time when they're not smiling is when they are alone. I caught an ISFJ girl by herself looking like a sad girl who's starting to regret getting that haircut, and once she sees me she puts on that smile. I need your confirmations whether you tend to smile in any situation involving people/public and why you like to smile and how you handle that jaw pain
It's hard for me to say how much of this is type related and how much of it is down to other factors.


For me personally, I think it tends to be the opposite, or at least concerning what people tell me. I've never had someone tell me I smile too much, but on a number of occasions I've had people tell me that I don't smile enough. I've had people tell me I'm emotionless.

In my case, it's moreso that I'm very calm most of the time. Even when I'm excited about something, usually it's more of a feeling of being content and pleased.


So I'm wondering if gender doesn't play into this some as well. Some people have told me that they think I'm more like an ISTJ, but any who truly knows me can certainly tell how much of a feeler that I am and how sensitive I am. I wouldn't be surprised if this was true for many ISFJ males.

So, it's possible that ISFJ females are easier to spot, and that some ISFJ males are actually typed as ISTJ males. Also, ISFJ females may be more likely to smile consistently than ISFJ males.


Maybe I'm wrong, but if I had to guess I would say you've run across more ISFJ females than males, just due to the probability of it.


I had always assumed it was more of an E/I thing. It seems like even types like ESTJs, ESTPs, ENTPs and ENTJs smile more than I do, but I could be wrong about that, it's just a vibe that I get.



Now, I will say that the Fe in me does lead me to smile on a number of occasions that other types may not. This is more of a natural reaction in the moment, though...it's not something that I tend to consciously think about. As others have mentioned, when I'm nervous or flustered, I tend to smile sometimes.

Also, it's often my natural reaction to smile to make someone feel better. If someone makes a joke and I'm the only one there, I often smile, even if I don't find it funny. Unless it's a person who really annoys me or something that I really really don't find funny or disagree with completely, I usually smile.


So it's possible that it's the Fe in ISFJs that causes this smiling to look fake to you, since it's your third function instead of your second one. I think it depends on what you mean by fake. I do think ISFJs like to make people feel better, so sometimes they can smile to do so. ISFJs sometimes help people out of a feeling of obligation, even if part of them doesn't want to. This could be interpreted as fake.


ISFJs can sometimes be self-conscious too, so it's possible that they want to come across happier than they are. If this is the case, I think this is more in line with being "fake". In these situations, I think it can boil down to a few different things. First, the ISFJ may not want someone to worry about them and may want to prove they can do something without help...ISFJs have a tendency to take on too much and not ask for enough help. The second is that the ISFJ may be self-conscious about something and may not know how to deal with it.


So in either case, I think it's moreso about the ISFJ wanting to protect themselves. This doesn't mean that it's not an area that they can't/shouldn't improve upon. But, I mention it because I don't think ISFJs tend to be "fake" like this in order to take advantage of someone, but rather as a self-defense mechanism.



It's interesting that you as an ESTP bring this up, though. I would have thought it would have been an Fi type to mention this, because much more often I've seen Fi types find Fe to be fake.


Going by the stereotypes and nothing else, I actually would have thought someone would find the ESTP type to be more fake. Of course, this is going by the stereotype of them being "used car salespeople" or lawyers who try to bend the truth to achieve their goals. The stereotype would imply ESTPs using their Fe to smile and make other people feel better as they bend the truth to "sell their product".

Again, this is going by the stereotype, so I know it has limited truth. But I still find it interesting to hear all of this from an ESTP type rather than an Fi type, since it seems like there's more of an Fe connection between ISFJs and ESTPs.
 

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I've been told I smile too much and too quickly. I automatically go into the motions of smiling and "how are you"'s. I have been told I appear too "perfect" and overly-controlled, making me seem cold and detached, like some sort of robot that was told to smile every time someone even looked at them but with nothing else behind it. I guess this sounds something like what Wh1zkey described originally.

Why I do this: I really try to be friendly to people. It annoys me when someone looks right at you and just glares instead of smiling or at least saying hi, so this ends up being almost a reflex on my part.

It is very, very annoying being told I need to change - I mean, what, should I scowl at everyone and slam doors in people's faces? Then I will have people complain then, too. Can't win. :p

For me personally, I think it tends to be the opposite, or at least concerning what people tell me. I've never had someone tell me I smile too much, but on a number of occasions I've had people tell me that I don't smile enough. I've had people tell me I'm emotionless.

In my case, it's moreso that I'm very calm most of the time. Even when I'm excited about something, usually it's more of a feeling of being content and pleased.
I can relate to this, with people telling me "act like you really really care!" meaning do so with extreme gusto instead of my usual quiet out-of-the-way style. Again, annoying. (BTW I just saw your signature - I loved FF9 ^_^ oh look smiley emoticon oh noes can't stop smiling)
 

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I'd say I do smile most of the time, because I believe it makes me look more approachable and friendly. I don't really smile all that much whenever I'm alone, just because I don't smile at nothing? I think smiling is just a natural thing for me to do around people just because I assume that nobody wants to be around someone who always looks mad, sad, or in any negative mood for that matter. I tend to smile less with those I'm most comfortable with, and smile more with strangers or acquaintances. For instance, just yesterday I was sitting in a class, and because I wasn't talking to anyone, I probably looked really sad or something because my relaxed face is basically a frown. But suddenly an acquaintance of mine came up to me and started to speak with me and I couldn't stop smiling. Like, I felt it was required of me to be smiling while having a conversation with them. I guess it's just the whole wanting to be liked thing that makes me smile so much, even though I'm so pessimistic in my head.
 

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a) If I'm with people I really like, such as my family or my closest friends, and if I'm in a good mood (which is about 80% of the time, and 15% of the remaining time I'm just feeling ho-hum) then I tend to smile a lot just because I like being around them.

b) If I'm talking to a stranger, then I ALWAYS smile a lot--wide and bright. This is mostly because I tend to get really quiet and tongue-tied around people I don't know, and I've found that smiling and nodding is the easiest way to get through interactions with them. It tells people that you're listening, that you're interested in what they're saying, and that you're happy to be talking to them, and you barely even have to open your mouth! Win/win.

Also, if I'm having a bad day, I don't think it's right to inflict my mood on random people I happen to meet, so I'll do my best to smile at any cashiers or customer service attendants or what-have-you that I talk to. I guess that could end up looking a little forced, but it's better than being surly and short-tempered, right?

c) This is probably going to sound really stereotypically ISFJ-ish, but I try to smile whenever I catch the eye of somebody walking by me. It's like @zinnia said:

Why I do this: I really try to be friendly to people. It annoys me when someone looks right at you and just glares instead of smiling or at least saying hi, so this ends up being almost a reflex on my part.
This can result in a rather sore jaw when, say, I'm out shopping and catch the eyes of about 50 people in an hour, but it's worth it when people smile back and look happy to see you.

Conclusion: Yes, I smile a lot, but... well, I have a lot of reasons to smile. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #16
It's interesting that you as an ESTP bring this up, though. I would have thought it would have been an Fi type to mention this, because much more often I've seen Fi types find Fe to be fake.


Going by the stereotypes and nothing else, I actually would have thought someone would find the ESTP type to be more fake. Of course, this is going by the stereotype of them being "used car salespeople" or lawyers who try to bend the truth to achieve their goals. The stereotype would imply ESTPs using their Fe to smile and make other people feel better as they bend the truth to "sell their product".

Again, this is going by the stereotype, so I know it has limited truth. But I still find it interesting to hear all of this from an ESTP type rather than an Fi type, since it seems like there's more of an Fe connection between ISFJs and ESTPs.
ESTPs do have Fi but very hidden. Sometimes it comes up. If what you said is true that Fi types mention this kind of stuff, then Fi came out at the right place and the right time. Anyway we smile for the same reasons as you all do -- to prevent people from asking you or assuming if you're in a bad mood and causing some fuss about it. But primarily we use it to assist us in persuading people into doing what we propose. Anyway, for your finding it interesting to hear from an ESTP due to Fe connection with ISFJ.. I already kinda expected the answers and knew why ISFJs smile often. But I needed some confirmation and I definitely got that.

Maybe so much confirmation that there is nothing else for me to figure out about ISFJs.. zzz
 

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It annoys me when someone looks right at you and just glares instead of smiling or at least saying hi, so this ends up being almost a reflex on my part.
IKR? I hate that too! I sometimes think 'would it kill you to smile?' when that happens.

I don't really smile all that much whenever I'm alone, just because I don't smile at nothing?
LOL! So true! How weird would we be, just sitting there, thinking about paying bills or whatever and grinning up a storm? :laughing:
 

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Hahaha, my SFJ friends ALWAYS have a smile on their face. I've even mentioned this before when people were asking about visual cues for certain types. It's so cute and innocent but looks tiring. I can put on a smile for people but I typically look serious by default despite how easily I smile and laugh for any reason. I guess Ni makes me more future-oriented and not focusing on the current situation whereas Si makes you more down to earth and with Fe it wants you to feel welcomed in the now?
 

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I don't think it's just an ISFJ thing. I smile around people all the time - it's due to old social anxiety habits, because smiling makes you look accommodating so people either leave you alone or are nice to you (with the odd exception). Anyway, smiling isn't something to get hung up on. Let people do what they want with their faces, it's not affecting you.
 
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