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I am an ISFP who has fallen in love with an ISTJ. I have never been with this type before. I am the heart of the relationship and he is the head. I am very passionate and sensitive and feel my way through life. Sex for me is "love making" and something I want to experience with this ISTJ. Sex is my way of expressing love. I need him to feel my love and I in return need that from him too during sex. I need that spiritual connection. Depth. Is this too much to ask? Are you guys capable of it? What can I do to get this need of mine reciprocated? Help a girl out. Need some insight. Let me pick your brain.
 

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It would help to remember that your guy is a man first, and an ISTJ is just a part of him. I mean, ISTJ's aren't going to be methodical and orderly with sex, come on! Some of us like to be WILD.
 

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If you want something from an ISTJ the best way to get it from him is to ask him. If you're wanting to do something other than ask in a straight-forward manner than you're most-likely wasting your time.
 

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I'd also say if you don't already have this deep connection or close to it before having sex, having sex won't change it. You do sound head over heels for this guy, but make sure your feelings are reciprocated.
 

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Sounds like something my man would say. Maybe I will give "asking" a try. "Can I have more Passion please?" haha. That sounds so needy and so emo. I'm trying hard to be anything but that, even though that is my nature. Thanks for the advice.
 

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I am an ISFP who has fallen in love with an ISTJ. I have never been with this type before. I am the heart of the relationship and he is the head. I am very passionate and sensitive and feel my way through life. Sex for me is "love making" and something I want to experience with this ISTJ. Sex is my way of expressing love. I need him to feel my love and I in return need that from him too during sex. I need that spiritual connection. Depth. Is this too much to ask? Are you guys capable of it? What can I do to get this need of mine reciprocated? Help a girl out. Need some insight. Let me pick your brain.
give him time, i think ISTJs can show their most emotional side during sex, that doesnt mean crying or anything lame, just that they do become vulnerable. good luck!
 
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Discussion Starter #7
This is true snap dragons. I am in love with someone so different from myself. I really respect you types. You guys have the qualities that I often lack and need. I think he feels the same, or at least he shows it differently.
 

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that doesnt mean crying or anything lame


LOL.
 

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Maybe i can give you two some lessons sometime.

Im just kidding obviously. HERES THE KEY. All you have to do is make him feel as if though he is giving you massive amounts of pleasure. MASSIVE amounts. Uncontrollable raging amounts.

Break as many touch boundaries as possible and get physical. Do weird shit in weird positions, while showing him that you are having a fantastic time.
 

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I'm laughing at King's comment. ROFLMAO.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Somehow I think your advice might actually be the way to his heart. But you aren't an ISTJ, my friend. Let's leave it up to them to decide.
 

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why, please do tell.
 
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Maybe i can give you two some lessons sometime.

Im just kidding obviously. HERES THE KEY. All you have to do is make him feel as if though he is giving you massive amounts of pleasure. MASSIVE amounts. Uncontrollable raging amounts.

Break as many touch boundaries as possible and get physical. Do weird shit in weird positions, while showing him that you are having a fantastic time.
meh that gets boring after a while.
 
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THE IRON GIANT
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I am an ISFP who has fallen in love with an ISTJ. I have never been with this type before. I am the heart of the relationship and he is the head. I am very passionate and sensitive and feel my way through life. Sex for me is "love making" and something I want to experience with this ISTJ. Sex is my way of expressing love. I need him to feel my love and I in return need that from him too during sex. I need that spiritual connection. Depth. Is this too much to ask? Are you guys capable of it? What can I do to get this need of mine reciprocated? Help a girl out. Need some insight. Let me pick your brain.
Everyone's different, and sexual interests vary accordingly. There's nothing about an ISTJ that makes it impossible for him to experience sex any less deeply than you do. My approach to sex is identical to the bolded, and I'm an ISTJ. That isn't to say I've always been the best lover, because I haven't always been the best listener.

Cutting to the chase, here's my advice: talk to him. Sit down in a quiet and very private place with him the day before and tell him you want to talk to him about it. Explain what sex means to you, ask what it means to him and what he wants, tell him what you want. The way we are functionally makes us better at handling things when we know what's expected of us than when we're flying blind. Sex is not just about planting a seed today, so the rest of it really has to be learned. Sex is an even more complicated issue than it should be, too, because it's handled poorly socially and in the entertainment sector... but there's too much there for me to go into right here. Hopefully he hasn't been impacted too deeply by these things, or if he has, he's aware of it and wants to change.

The one challenge I can imagine may be in the listening part. He probably knows how to have sex a certain way, and thinks that's the right way. Maybe it will turn out to be, but it probably isn't. This is why it's key to talk about it ahead of time, so he has time to personalize thoughts about your needs.

Finally, I'll say that if he doesn't seem open to responding to you in other areas that you've already explored, like kissing and touching and anything else, I'd suggest working on getting him where you want him in those areas first. It will show him in a very concrete way that there's a right and wrong way to be with you.

Good luck.
 

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THE IRON GIANT
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Maybe i can give you two some lessons sometime.

Im just kidding obviously. HERES THE KEY. All you have to do is make him feel as if though he is giving you massive amounts of pleasure. MASSIVE amounts. Uncontrollable raging amounts.

Break as many touch boundaries as possible and get physical. Do weird shit in weird positions, while showing him that you are having a fantastic time.
You know nothing of my people.
 

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THE IRON GIANT
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@ Stephen, then tell me what you think I should do since you are the expert.
Cutting to the chase, here's my advice: talk to him. Sit down in a quiet and very private place with him the day before and tell him you want to talk to him about it. Explain what sex means to you, ask what it means to him and what he wants, tell him what you want.
:happy: Here you go.
 

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It would help to remember that your guy is a man first, and an ISTJ is just a part of him. I mean, ISTJ's aren't going to be methodical and orderly with sex, come on! Some of us like to be WILD.
*remembers one girl and wild monkey-sex*

Pity she wasn't interested in more. :'(
 

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I hope poop-flinging wasn't part of the deal, Yardiff. LOL!
 
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