inebriato said:
You should write a paragraph or two about yourself.

roud: Or even three, but I think you get my point
Ok, here goes nothing, I wrote some of this in the enneagram thread but here's some more;
I adore animals. I have 5 cats and I talk to them all the time and I like to smell their fur especially in the winter. I have a few close friends but I never manage to open up completely. Even when I try to express myself and my emotions in the process of that sharing I start thinking how what I just said doesn't really convey what I'm feeling so my words just fall short or something.
All my life people would come up to me and confide in me. Some of them were seriously mentally ill (one girl with Schizophrenia, another with a very poor hygiene who talked about her childhood traumas, a guy with BPD, a 45 year old virgin guy etc...) and some had physical issues-I'm generally a magnet for older people who then go on and on about their issues, what went wrong in their lives, and one girl whose nerves were damaged during childbirth and her face was disfigured...I just tried to help by listening but I was just too drained to do any good so I had to stop seeing them and answering the phone when then they called.
Also, I have very strong spiritual needs. When I was 8 I started going to Church, I loved biblical stories, and I felt connected for a while. This was a time of civil war (the Balkans, nuff said) so I was a pretty anxious child because my dad wasn't at home for awhile and I was worried. But anyway, after the war we got visited by Jehovah's W. and after some study my parents and my bro decided to become one of them. I was eleven at the time and I liked the illustrations in their magazines so I just went along with them. I was extremely bored at these meetings so I developed a rich fantasy life and was terrifyingly embarrassed during field work (door to door service) and was regularly criticized and 'helped' and was labeled disinterested, vague, reserved, even asocial. One sister said that she felt like she was alone in the service rolling one of those trunks on wheels (the trunk being me).
Anyway, in my teenage years I started to rebel a bit and I even thought about leaving home and become a forensic, but I suddenly got scared, like I won't make it on my own and without God and my family so I just tried to blend in and maybe get married to somebody and numb myself with work or whatever, so instead forensic work I wanted to be realistic and decided to become an archeologist:laughing:. Anyway I got bored with that so I decided to change my major for Spanish and also some courses in English lit, because I was always very good with languages. In the meantime my dislike for the JW religion deepened and I also felt I was moving farther away from parents. I just tuned out during those meetings and think about Michael and Nikita getting it on or about Jordan Catalano or how great it would be to become a missionary in Africa where I would finally become interested in spreading the good news. Or whatever.
I started using my imagination and get creative a lot when they would ask me if I did any service and I would make up stories and embellish them with these little tiny details that everybody really seem to like over there. Like I was brave enough to resist peer pressure, BS like that. After a year or two of hypocrisy I managed to tell my parents I don't want to attend the meetings anymore and I tried to tell all the stuff that I learned about the org in the meantime bt they didn't want to listen because independent thinking is not encouraged and shouldn't even be reading those Satanic things anyway.
What else? I love Dostoevsky and read all of his novels in my native language but I wanted to get a feel on the Russian culture and spirit so I started Russian but that interfered with my obligations so I had to stop, I also learned Chinese but it was too hard, German was boring, French was ok but I got bored easily, and picked up some Italian...Anyway I'm not a really good student anymore because I can't study that same BS all the time. So now I'm 24 and still have two more exams to wrap this shit up, and then there's the rest of my life. The thought of it makes me slightly depressed.
Anyway, my favorite TV shows include Poirot, La femme Nikita, Northern Exposure, Buffy and Angel (when I was younger), My So Called Life...Favorite authors Dostoevsky, Jane Austen, Hemingway. Poets Dickinson and sometimes Frost.
I really like to listen to music hours on end . When I was younger Iron Maiden (because they have lots of the Middle ages motifs in their work), Beatles, Simon&Garfunkel, and Bosnian ethno . I have weird phases where I would just be obsessed about some issues and problems in the world, like... women in Islam, cliteridectomy, overpopulation etc...Or some stupid stuff like love handles, cellulite and Ewan McGregor being a sell out. I like making musical videos with that Nan dub thingy or whatever it's called. I also think I'm in love with this guy that I see on the bus, we never talked but he's beautiful and I don't want to spoil it by talking to him.
Also, lots of times I feel compelled to act dumber than I am. I even change my tone of voice so I appear younger, I have this baby talk when I feel really self-conscious and people laugh which is nice but it's not nice when they don't take me seriously or think I'm a weirdo. People genuinely think I'm a nice person which sometimes comes as a shock really.
So, uh, what do you think?
