Personality Cafe banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,822 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So I've been here several times in the past. And I THINK I can probably narrow it down to these two types. Questionnaires I've filled out pegged me as using Fi as my dom function as well as using Se, which I know would technically make me an ISFP. But, I just don't seem to be like other ISFPs. I'm never that person who is quietly observing/I always have to be engaged in whatever's going on, I'm always talking to people and absolutely hate being alone even if that means I'm just texting someone consistently (although I do only really prefer to speak with people I know I have similar interests with,) etc. This could be my sexual variant making me seem more outgoing, because making one on one connections with as many people as possible is huge to me. When I'm not doing that, or working on something that'll help me do that, I'm EXTREMELY bored. But I dunno, I just wanna see if there's a blatant way for me to know.

Can anyone help? Thanks in advance.~
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,896 Posts
My husband is an ESFP 2w1 -- You sound like him at first gloss, anyway.

He is always busy, never alone unless he's beyond exhausted and sleeping.

He doesn't 'observe'; he is involved, or listening to someone, counseling his hair stylist (mainly by listening but then advising); goes to work, on his commute he's listening to a podcast or his iPod, and home he's on the Internet or doing chores.

Out and he is getting groceries, involved in church (worship team singer) he attends without me, visiting friends, and just helping whether he's at work or wherever.

Bush, always busy.

If not for being over-taxed and broke, he'd also be at more 'events.' Phew!

What do you do to relax?

He listens to music, for instance.

What do you do for a living, unless you don't want to say publicly.

Do you express your feelings readily, and how do you view your Se?

My husband's Se is good, but I wouldn't say it's excellent; he reads people, reads a room, takes its emotional and psychological temperature, and behaves accordingly.

Just tossing stuff out here because 1) I'm tired, 2) I find it works best to help someone sort stuff out by not throwing a bunch of functions or stereotypically worded phrases at 'em.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,822 Posts
Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
@HallowedHydraNess - I notice similarities with him for sure.

To relax: I'm really weird, but I'll go into a chatroom and just sit there while I do other stuff. I just like the feeling sometimes of being with others even if I'm doing my own thing at the same time. But if I meet someone cool in the room, I might spend a long time talking with them.

I love watching horror movies, probably because of the suspense and drama.

I also like to go for walks and listen to music, and sometimes I catch myself going to get food for the sole purpose of being out of the house. Also, I just love food. But that might be irrelevant.

----------------
For a living: I'm a cashier and occasionally work in a ktchen. My favorite is cashiering because I see it as a chance to brighten someone's day with my cheerfulness whether it's fake or not. But I also love when I randomly meet someone I vibe with. It's just a really cool feeling of "We're kinda the same, and that's super trippy."

-------------

Feelings: I'm probably as emotionally expressive as it gets. Even when I try not to be. I'll tell anyone who listens how I'm feeling but at the same time have a fear of being pitied. I only ever want to be understood when I share.

Should possibly be noted, though, that I'm most likely either Bipolar or Borderline. But some Borderlines, at least, keep everything inward and I'm by far not one of those types.

--------------

How I view my Se: Well, I was told I use Se because I focus a lot on the present moment. When shown a picture of a bird on a branch, I immediately just thought about how peaceful and carefree the scene was. I really embrace the idea of those moments where you feel fulfilled, no matter what happens next.

Thinking of the future/making commitments scares me because I worry my feelings might change or something. I think the quote "Forever is comprised of nows" really speaks to me. I do have some abandonment issues which stems from me worrying someone I like will suddenly see something about me they don't like and leave me. But I'm not sure if that's the same as thinking long-term about things.

I love sensory things but I can't say I'm very detail oriented. For example, I love how music sounds (and never pay attention to lyrics because metaphors frustrate me since I feel I can never fully be sure what they mean,) but I couldn't sit here and describe what parts of the music I like or anything like that. Same goes for food, sex, etc. I just like what I like, in a sense.

Thanks for wanting to help, by the way!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,896 Posts
You still sound ESFP. Every 'type' is still a separate person.

And thanks for being honest--and perhaps vulnerable--enough to tell what you do for a living, what you get out of it, and your diagnoses, which can make an accurate read harder but not impossible.

Your sitting in a chat room and just listening, hoping for a good opportunity--from what I've had acquaintances tell me--is normal for this day and age. My husband and I don't do that perhaps because we're in our 50s, so we didn't grow up with chat rooms, or heck, computers. :-D

And if you have anxiety at all, sitting in a chat room and not saying anything--especially if you sometimes wonder if you're 'getting what is being said' much like wondering if you understand song lyrics, well, that makes sense: Stick around and see if you do get what someone else is saying and then have a nice conversation.

I feel comfortable saying you're ESFP.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,822 Posts
Discussion Starter #5 (Edited)
You still sound ESFP. Every 'type' is still a separate person.

And thanks for being honest--and perhaps vulnerable--enough to tell what you do for a living, what you get out of it, and your diagnoses, which can make an accurate read harder but not impossible.

Your sitting in a chat room and just listening, hoping for a good opportunity--from what I've had acquaintances tell me--is normal for this day and age. My husband and I don't do that perhaps because we're in our 50s, so we didn't grow up with chat rooms, or heck, computers. :-D

And if you have anxiety at all, sitting in a chat room and not saying anything--especially if you sometimes wonder if you're 'getting what is being said' much like wondering if you understand song lyrics, well, that makes sense: Stick around and see if you do get what someone else is saying and then have a nice conversation.

I feel comfortable saying you're ESFP.
That's so funny; my long distance guy is an INTJ. We haven't met in person yet unfortunately, but when we cam it's kind of different than being on the phone. On the phone we bounce ideas off of eachother (we're both very strong-minded & tend to think altruistically) and are pretty equally chatty. He's my best friend and I feel closer to him than anyone else. But on cam, he's more reserved and it seems like he struggles to make eye contact whereas I'm pretty out there, look at him a lot, and I worry it's overwhelming or that he thinks it's unattractive. : / Did you two ever experience that?? I just have this fear that if we hang out in public or even just face to face in person, he'll be turned off with how I am. But because I know how passionate and insightful he is, I doubt my feelings will change just because we can see each other.

You have helped so much regardless. Somehow I feel better thinking I'm ESFP, too. Thank you so much for going out of your way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,896 Posts
That's so funny; my long distance guy is an INTJ. We haven't met in person yet unfortunately, but when we cam it's kind of different than being on the phone. On the phone we bounce ideas off of eachother (we're both very strong-minded & tend to think altruistically) and are pretty equally chatty. He's my best friend and I feel closer to him than anyone else. But on cam, he's more reserved and it seems like he struggles to make eye contact whereas I'm pretty out there, look at him a lot, and I worry it's overwhelming or that he thinks it's unattractive. : / Did you two ever experience that?? I just have this fear that if we hang out in public or even just face to face in person, he'll be turned off with how I am. But because I know how passionate and insightful he is, I doubt my feelings will change just because we can see each other.

You have helped so much regardless. Somehow I feel better thinking I'm ESFP, too. Thank you so much for going out of your way.


@Taco Bella



With my husband--the ESFP--he thought I was the 'too intense one,' but that has to do with our different backgrounds:

He grew up mostly in rural areas, moving to a large, diverse city when he was a senior in high school--to San Diego specifically.

I was born and raised in a large city, mostly in the 'hood as they used to say (maybe still do), and then working class neighborhoods, so I was outspoken, which by his upbringing meant 'arrogant' and 'rude.'

Also, for an extravert he was shy, not to be mistaken for introverted; whereas I, the introvert, was not shy--not when I wanted something as my mother described it, "You're like your father (who is an ISTJ); like a dog with a bone!"

I wanted my husband, and he said that he 'needed me' before he loved me.

So, in person, if your boyfriend finds you too intense, when you can, tone it down somewhat, but at the same time, be yourself.

In other words, your INTJ has to know who he is getting involved with, and he as well as you will need to make certain adjustments while not giving in on what matters most to you or cannot be changed without causing extreme cognitive dissonance.


My husband and I started as friends, became best friends, then lovers, and after five years, we got married.

We've been together 29 years--more than half our lives.


We were out earlier today taking a walk and he said something sexual to me with a hint of (to my mind) too much intensity, and that fighter from the 'hood came out in me, playful but also fierce:

I immediately put up my fists and planted my feet, grinning, and said, "Wanna go toe to toe with me?"

He grinned back, and behind his eyes? Respect.

He knows how fierce I can be because of how I have been, yet that fierceness has mostly been to protect him, never to have to protect myself against him.

I told him, after I stopped messing with him, "If some people on PerC could see me now, they'd say, "Oh, she's a sensor!" but those who would do that do not take upbringing into consideration or allow for anything less than stereotypes and extremes.

I mean that the ones who do this kind of labeling and think 'on sight' and on 'one example' they can type someone are not looking deeply enough because, eh, we are all so much more complicated than our MBTI personality four letters.

You're as ESFP, and to my mind, a likable, smart one.

I'm glad you're on this site. And also that I could help you. ✍(◔◡◔)
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top